situation: im 20 and a dude and in college. i have very little experience in relationships, and thats why i need help with this one. theres this girl i know who pretty obviously likes me, though she hasnt said so yet. shes attractive, but doesnt talk much at all, and i havent been too impressed with her in the 4 months or so that iv known her. then theres this other girl who is totally awesome and iv wanted her for over two years but never had the balls to say anything. i think she has a bf now, but he lives in another part of the country. iv actually been thinking about talking to her about this just to get it off my chest. is it alright to accept to a relationship with the first girl? do two people need to have crushes on each other to start a relationship? cus i dont have a crush on her. is it not right to go into a relationship having no feelings for someone, just to see if they will develop? i would love a physical relationship with her, since i am attracted to her and all. but her personality has not left much of an impression on me. maybe because shes quiet. its possible that in time i would grow to like her, but i dont know if i can justify starting a relationship when i dont really like her like she likes me. then, there is the other girl, who i really do like a lot. it seems like it would be hard to go into a relationship with the first girl if i have the other girl on my mind. maybe be totally honest with the first one, and see what she thinks? im in way over my head, help me out here.
Sounds like there's no chemistry between you & the first girl, which I think is very important. You could try things out with her, but whatever you do, if you don't dig her, don't lead her on & pretend that you do. Chicks (like me) hate it when guys do that. As for the other chica, I would definitely talk to her, otherwise it's gonna drive you crazy. Just be up front with her, honesty is the way to go. Hope this helps & let me know the turnout!
It doesn't sound like you like the first girl too much.. I wouldn't go out with anyone I didn't like a lot but that's me personally. And with the second girl, I always watch the same old story unfold..the guy really likes girl, but doesnt say anything because they're too scared, even though they really like them..then they get into some meaningless relationship but still like the other girl lots. They eventually tell the girl how much they like them but it doesn't mean nearly as much because the girl thinks it's just a line- the guys been going out with other people so how much can he really like her? Stuff like that. Hope that was easy enough to follow. But yeah, tell her anyway, or make it clear without telling her.
Ya know These things are complicated, Go with your gut feeling. You're friggin 20!! Ask your mommy if you're not sure hahhahahah.
Very good answer. I personally don't believe in starting into a relationship if I KNOW I don't already FEEL some ATTRACTION for the girl. That's just pointless. I think that the best way a relationship is going to work out is if you find yourselves attracted to each other mutually, and then as you learn more about each other, you form a bond of respect and affection that grows with you and connects you stronger and stronger. I certainly don't like the idea of just getting together with someone randomly with no attraction and then hoping that love develops. What kind of plan is that?? -Jeffrey
