I need advice. I dont know what to do

My ex and I broke up like 7 months ago. We dated for over 5 years. Shortly after we broke up she began dating someone else. They barely see each other. she is in school and he is in the military. They couldn't have seen each other over ten times. I'm still madly madly madly in love with her!!!

About a few months ago she starting texting me. She came over to my house to give me some graduation presents. She stayed for about 30 minutes. She started randomly texting me after that. I asked her to hang out and she pretty much avoided me. A few weeks ago she called me and we hung out. We went for a walk on the beach and I helped her around her house. She insinuated that she didn't have a boyfriend. It was very casual and friendly. She did bring up a couple times from when we dated.

It been a couple weeks and on Valentine day I saw that she posted on his facebook wall: Happy Valentine Day! I Love you!.

Whats up with this? Why did she hang out with me if she still has a boyfriend that she apparently loves? Does she only consider me a friend. How should I proceed if I want to get her back???????

 

why would you want her back? she was very cruel to you, sounds to me like she likes having you waiting in the background for her to pick you up and drop you as she pleases, go out with your friends, get on with your life and don't risk it again, seems like she don't give a monkeys for your feelings, this is no way to treat a person.

 

I know. But what would you suggest. Just to disappear?

 

Since it seems to be bothering you to, quit talking to her and hopefully someday she'll grow up. A girl that dates right after a relationship either never really liked you or is too scared to face the emotional turmoil so she needed fallback.

 

I had something similiar happen with me and my ex. After we broke up (I loved her still) we hung out and it just made it harder.

I told her I couldnt talk to her till I moved on, and I still havent fully moved on, it takes time, but I am thankful I dont drag myself into those situations anymore. You head just going back and forth on if you will get back if you wont.

She has another guy now, no matter how much you want to change that she does. It sucks and its the worse, but its how it is. Space yourself out, maybe come back when you found someone or have fully moved on. But dont torture yourself.

 

Any other Advice? How should I proceed! I know everyone says to move on. Should I just disappear?

 

don't tex or call her, next time she calls you tell her your not playing her games anymore, your single now and looking for some fun, watch the reaction, that will be your answer.

 

any other advice???!!!

 

What advice are you waiting for? There's not much to do except that which was already said.

 

So what should I do next time she contacts me? Ignore? or just act like whatever?

 

Tell her you're gay , that should take care of it .

 

She sounds confused about what she wants.. Unstable..
But in the end, all i can really say is 'follow your heart'

 

I would just poor your heart out, and tell her how you truly feel. Hopefully she respects you enough to be open and honest as well..

If you do not like what she has to say, at least you've done all that you can do...perhaps then, it will be easier for you to move on.

I know its hard, but since you love her so much, I imagine you also want her to be happy. If the new guy makes her happy - good for her. In the meantime, be thankful you are not wasting time with someone that doesnt care and love you as much as you love them. A one-way relationship is never fun.

Maybe she'll come to her senses eventually... but I wouldnt wait around. Ultimately you have to do whats best for you. And explore new ventures of love, or whatever... Who knows, maybe (probably) you'll find someone that fulfills you more.

I wish you the best. I can relate.
peace.

 

So I should just disappear?

 

Should I just disappear then?

 

Disappear? Ignore her for a while and see what she does?

 

Just wallow in being a doormat for a while.


I am actually seriously, its good to explore all that, and nothing you or anyone else says or does is going to change you feeling like that for a while

 

You don't need to "disappear" , you need to level with her and tell her how you feel . That you want her back , and that you still love her . Why I don't know , but that seems to be the case . What's more important is you need to get the TRUTH from her about her intentions . And my guess is she will not give you the truth .

So you will be left with two options :
#1) Keep hanging on to yesterday , being strung along by her and her confused whims .
To keep you in the dark while throwing out the "maybe" syndrome to you , chasing your own tail in circles . And right where she wants you at her becond call.

#2) Level with her tell her you want her back (which she already knows ) , and ask her what she wants and what her intentions are between the two of you . Honesty is what you need from yourself to her , and from her to you . And there are some woman out there whom you will never get that from . (Not that she is like that , there are some that are ) And if it's anything less than she wants to be with you right now , then you need to move on . No nonsense like "it's complacated" or "I need time" or " I'm not sure" , then you need to remove yourself from the situation ,let her go and find another girl . Who wants to be with you .

I'm a firm believer in past results indicate future results , if circumstances are left unchanged . It didn't work the first time . You broke up and she is seeing another , you are not . As of now , we don't even know if she is still seeing this guy . You need to be honest and ask her . " Do you have a boyfriend , or dont you "? And in all honesty , if she does , then she is being dishonest to him with you . Even if it's not sexual , she is seeing her old boyfriend behind his back. And in all honesty , can you say she won't do the same to you , if you did get back together ?

Moving on is tuff , when you love someone . We have all been through it , or will be . It's a bitch and it hurts , yet sometimes we must do it . One sided love doesn't work my friend . In any event you need to be honest with her about your intentions , and she needs to be the same with you .

And if her answer is no , maybe , I need time or stalling . Then you need to let her go and find another . And if that's the case , then you should tell her . I love you , I want to be with you , but it's clear you don't feel the same . I'm not going to take a back seat to another . And to save myself from any more heartache , confusion or dashed hopes . I have to remove myself from the situation . While I wish you all the best , please don't call or text me anymore . As I need to move on , and put this matter behind me . You don't need to disappear or ignore her , you need to get the truth from her or let it go .

And who knows maybe she does want to be with you again , the point is until you're honest with her you're not going to get anywhere .

 

There's a lot of truth to this . In matters of the heart we all learn in our own way and in our own time . No ones opinion will change anything or the way you feel about the situation . These things one must make his or her own choices on . The heart never listens to the head . And in matters of love no ones opinion matters , other than your own.

 

I think she likes you. She is obviously pushing and pulling you. Woman are naturally good at pushing and pulling.