I love my boyfriend so much but like girls, a particular girl.

I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year, I am 22 years old and he is 29 year old. I had sex with him after 9months into our relationship, wanted to feel each other just once and wait till we got married. The sex was ok even though it is a little bit hard for guys to please me. My boyfriend loves me so much that he has done what he would never have done with a girl in sex. And i love him so much even though we are far away from each other, I feel something is missing. Don't get me wrong I enjoy every bit of him, he is the perfect man that every girl would want to have. I love my boyfriend we have gone through so many things, and still we are going stronger than ever. Recently due to boredom, i joint a gay sight just to chat with girls and make knew friends, i got to meet a girl from the site one weekend which there after turned my head around. I kissed her in the kitchen and after few minutes i broke a glass, this to show how intense the kiss affected me. We made out day1 and day2 and after those days, i can't get her off my head. i wish to spend every moment with her and do things with her. In as much as she is now in my head.
I love my boyfriend so much, we talk about our future together and I really do see him in my future, It's just that I feel something is missing in our relationship. I told him about this girl but lied we only cuddled, i asked him if we could be in this relationship and i be with girls but he was negative about it, he said he can't watch some other person touch me or me have affection for some other person. I told the girl about how i feel and she said; "I can't be anything more than just a friend to you. you have a bf and i do not want to destroy what you have. i'm sorry but it will be to hard on two of us. i think you're a great person but you're already taken" Please i need your help. Should i just stay with him and pleasure myself on the side (with just her but she won't do that with me from her txt message)? or break up ( i don't think i would be able to survive with out him) our beautiful relationship and try it with girls(even though i don't think I can have a relationship with a girl or maybe not because i like boys too), I think a threesome is somewhat out of the question, because my boyfriend hates the mention of it…what would you recommend? Also, at the same time a part of me is scared about regretting not exploring and experimenting more when I'm older. I don't want to wake up one day when I'm married with kids and realise I was a lesbian all along. Any advice?

Please excuse my typo.

 

I'm no expert, but it sounds like you're not a lesbian, since you are in love with or at least have very deep feelings for your boyfriend. Does he excite you at all when you're sexually active with him? Does he turn you on at all? If the answers are No I would say you should get out of the relationship, if only because it is not a healthy relationship if you are looking for enjoyable sex and not getting it from him.

But you're right, you don't want to commit, and then a few years down the line find out you have zero sex life with him. That is not a healthy relationship (it's unhealthy if it's not working for you). I know you said threesomes are out of the question but... have you only mentioned it in passing? Or have you seriously sat down with him and said "Hey, I am in love with you, I want to be with you forever, but I want to explore things with you too. You wouldn't be sharing me with another girl, but rather she would be adding to our experiences, because I want to experience great things with you." Maybe it's a long shot, but could be worth it...

Keep in mind to that if he absolutely refuses to do things that he knows would please you, and you feel you're missing out on the world because he's holding you back, then maybe he's not the complete package that you deserve.

Anyways, just my 2 cents.

 

Say what you want and talk about it. It has been my experience, that it will hurt less now than if you just let it go and not talk about it. My girl and I love each other and both agree adding another girl just make for another great experience together. Together is the key!

 

What A Surprise, Another Day, Another "One Post Wonder"...



Cheers Glen.

 

Mami,

I can relate. I'm going through a similar issue right now. I have a separate post where I talk about my fiancé and how I mentioned to her that I still want to explore a bit and she immediately shot it down.

Given your age (I'm 33), I would recommend calling it off and experimenting with the other side of your life. I started to discover my sexuality rather late in life and so there are tons of extra pressures. I want a family and I'm starting to get to that age where I have to make a decision. The older you get the more pressures there are on you to try to "move forward" in life. Right now you are so young that there will be plenty of other opportunities to meet someone as amazing as your current boyfriend.

Remember that life isn't like a television show. There are plenty of people out there who are totally compatible with you. Both male and female.

You should really take your time. If you want to experiment, you should experiment. If your boyfriend won't allow you to do that, then you should break up and take some time to figure out what you really want.

Just always be safe.

Best of luck and nothing but love!