I like troubled women

I find troubled women to be attractive. Not meaning to sound weird or anything. I'm a basically normal harmless guy - well, in my own way I'm not normal but in the scheme of things I'm not a real weirdo or anything like that. Women who are perhaps recovering from alchoholism and drug abuse, who have skeletons in the closet. Women who are moody, with mild to moderate manic depression - unmedicated of course.

Not women who are high strung per se, or very neurotic, but women who are basically easy going but troubled and who have/or had self-destructive tendencies. I especially like troubled, moody artistically inclined women who wear dark eye shadow.

Women who are recovering from something are attractive, women who know the thought of suicide. Women who have a wild side, women who are emotionally and intellectually profound, women who want to suck the marrow out of life, women who are sensitive, women who are honest, women who are caring, women with integrity, women who are tranquility and intensity coexisting, women who are direct.

I am looking for a woman in whom simplicity and complexity are interwoven, a woman who is crazy, a woman who can bring out both the best and worst in me - sometimes simultaneously, a woman who is real, a woman who cracks my shell, a woman who penatrates my mind, a woman who sees through me, a woman to whom I cannot tell a lie, a woman who will never lie, a woman who can know me better than I know myself, a woman who will breath life into me, a woman who will make me know I'm alive, a woman who will never hide her feelings, a woman who will not fake anything, a woman with a dark side, a woman without inhibitions, a woman who puts me in my place, a woman I can't fool, a woman who will sometimes get drunk with me despite recovering from alchoholism, a woman who is avante garde, a woman who is totally candid, a woman who is a noncomformist, a woman who can make me relax, a woman with a great and sometimes warped sense of humor, a woman who is anti-bourgiose, a woman who is a libertarian, a woman who has self-respect though occasionally has an impulse toward self-destruction, a woman who will change and grow, a woman who can get angry with me and look me in the eye, a woman who loves to have a great time, a woman who totally accepts me for who I am, a woman who is troubled.

 

Here I am...

No, seriously. It doesn't sound wierd. I understand what you are saying..

I've always had a thing for wierd "crazy" people.. hence my obsession with Alex from A Clockwork Orange. I find moody, manic men an incredible turn-on. Especially if they are also very intelligant. (One of the reasons I like John Lennon so much)

This is mainly because I've always felt different to everyone else. I suffer from depression and alcohol problems and I like to be with people who know what this feels like.

I'm just glad i'm not the only one

 

You'd like me then.....

 

You described me pretty damn well...

 

Same here, I like guys who have something that noone else can see, only me. I don't know if I would want him terribly moody all the time, but, if he was a druggie, just...all around horrible, but, he was brilliant, then, that would be beautiful.

 

That's me... and I'm attracted to women like that too. I think it's the excitement, and for me I think it's because I have someone to relate to and talk to about problems. To me, I'm really only attracted to a "troubled" woman. I guess I must have some sort of tracking device that tells me that I'll like them or something. That's really not weird.

 

(a woman who has self-respect though occasionally has an impulse toward self-destruction)In some ways that sounds like me. I have a wild side and am sensitive, and honest. I drive my parents crazy..haha. Anyway, I know how you feel; I have always been attracted to troubled men they're sexy for some reason.

 

I like troubled men and women as well. There is something fundamentally exotic and deep about them.. oh there aren't words :/

 

i like helping people...but that is not what i look for in a partner

 

I'm trying with all my might to break a similar habit. When I was in college I'd look past the happy hotties and key in on the chicks walking with their arms crossed in front of them and their hair hanging over their downturned faces. I think it actually started in high school because I remember there was this girl who I thought was the most beautiful girl in the world. She'd always have her head down in class or look miserable as fuck, and I was the guy who'd make her smile. It used to torment me that she wouldn't go out with me. She thought she was too fucked up for me, which was probably true. Since than I've fallen head over heals more than a few times for girls who were alcoholic, drug addicts, bipolar, depressed, etc. This is not a good thing. It made me suicidal. I think the reason I did it is because I find such women to be interesting. I was never into the whole "I can save you" thing. I knew that was bullshit. It just so happened that I tended to share a lot of interests with these girls. The thing I didn't share was their emotional instability. It's amazing how a common interest in Tool, weed, and poetry and a rowdy sex life can blind one to their lover's destructive behavior. I could go on and on about this topic. My stack of notebooks full of writing can attest to that.

But I'm done with that shit now. Granted, we'll see how tough I am the next time I cross paths with the kind of girl I've been attracted to, but I think I've finally learned my lesson. Ta hell with that misery shit. I've had enough of being dragged into the abyss. You know what's really sexy to me now? Women who are happy and at peace with themselves.

 

On the other hand, truly troubled women would not help me to form a relationship that is conducive to the recovery thing I am into. After all, I spent 12 years on a benzodiazepine and am suffering from some major nervous system problems both due to the drug and as a result of a spinal cord injury. Drugs and alchohol are off limits to me, as well as anything that could diminish self-respect or self-acceptance - lest I fail to recover and become one of the truly troubled. I have probably come too far along the path toward self-respect to truly self-destruct.

The type of woman I find most attractive is a troubled woman recovering from something, a woman perpetually moving in the direction of self-acceptance in the light of an ever-present vulnerability. A woman who, while always honest, is emerging from a past checkered by some measure of self-deception. A woman who is becoming less labyrinthine and more down to earth in the interest of health and recovery. It is not those women who have always been direct who I find most attractive, those women who have been totally concrete and simple minded since the day they were born, but those who are ascending out of a maze and discovering simplicity anew.

A woman whose world has come crashing down around her, a woman who is picking up the most elementary pieces of that world and discovering that they form a new life. A woman who accepts her body, though perhaps had anorexic tendencies in the past. A woman who does'nt pay attention to her weight, and is at or above her ideal body weight. Well built, strong, healthy. A woman who once was drugged, maybe psychiatric medicine like benzodiazepines, prozac, etc., or alchohol, who is slowly developing a warm and caring personality that she did not know she had or inadvertently kept concealed.

A woman who smokes relatively lightly, like about 7 or 8 cigs per day, but once smoked more heavily, and fails to quit as she feels she would not succeed until certain circumstances have subsided. A woman who must have coffee in the morning. A woman who is a night owl. A woman who is both cerebral and also loves to openly discuss feelings. A woman who niether flatters me or puts me down but makes me feel good about myself in a healthy way. A woman who shows me my strengths when I begin to drown in my weaknesses. A woman who just wants to chill out and relax, for whom just relaxing and doing absolutely nothing in a drug free state is a brand new experience. A woman who likes to talk about the past and tell stories. A woman who values the intellectual/spiritual side of life more than the material. A woman who is intellectually enriched, despite a past of drugs and alchohol. A woman who likes quiet summer nights. A woman who is articulate and dispenses with whatever crude ways of talking exist among some subsets of the general populace. A woman who does not try to sound intelligent through arcane or esoteric words, a woman who is genuinely intelligent who speaks in a down to earth fashion and uses large words when they really mean something. A woman who is really friendly and warm.

A woman who has carried in her psyche for a long time a black abyss of negativity and the ever present thought (sometimes not on the surface of consciousness) of suicide - a woman who refuses to drown in it. A woman who has been burned out, fragmented, always to return to the path towards health. A woman who sometimes dreams of a healthy, peaceful home with a daughter and a son; maybe two beautiful daughters; a warm nurturing environment filled with all that is wholesome for the mind. Maybe raising these lovely daughters is what heals such a woman.

A woman who is returning to life. A woman who is letting go. A woman who still sometimes dwells on the past, but is too drawn to life to drown. A woman who once ignored such things as activities of daily living, a woman whose head once was in the clouds. A woman who is deep and dark and caring, becoming simpler. A woman who had doubts that her mind, spirit or soul could heal. A woman who is sometimes haunted. A woman who is being filled with life.

 

i can certainly relate to this thread and know first hand the allure of troubled women. I have been married 3 times and divorced 3 times and the primary reason is that I always have sought out the troubled women, the ones that needed saving, the ones that admittatly be easier to hook up with. I have finally learned my lesson and I no longer seek out those type. The damn truth is that now that I am not looking for trouble, I encounter her all the time thesedays. Nowadays, I tell myself that the next lady that i invite into my life is gonna be self suffient and not in need of rescue. I have nothing agianst any women, I love women of all ages and shapes and sizes and this is not a negative post against troubled women, Im just saying that I have tried that route, too many times and I have learned my lesson

 

well, put me down also. My story is that I grew up with three troubled sister. Since early in life i learned to be there and care for them no matter what happened. and that personality has transfered into my adulthood. I'm also overly emotional, which doesn't help. Sometimes i'm walking around campus and see someone in pain and it just makes me want to hug them. Just that hurt look in their eyes makes me feel pitiful. The problem i've had with certain relationships is that it turns out to be one-sided. They get high spirited and just turn their back. but if you find the right person, being there during that period in their life is priceless... now where is that person?

love,
al the pal

 

the girl i like atm is in a mental hospital lol. shes tried suicide heaps but she doesnt mean to, she hates thinkning about it. the girl of my utmost dreams also was real suicidal once but not nemore. I dunno, it has an underlying attraction but overall i find it really depressing if friends are depressed or torubled. Suicide is te worst thing ever, its the msot stupid, irrational, and unintelligent thing to do, and i hate haviong to think of friends that way. but it still allures me.. slightly...

 

i love weird people. well, i guess they have to be astranged in a good way...like me i'd guess. yea, most people laugh when they hear my idea of my "dreamgirl". i always say the first quality they must have is that they must be a "druggie". of course, to me that term doesn't define itself to me in the way nearly most everyone thinks of it. i always fall for some kinda odd-type girls you see in the movies for example (in real life of course too). anyone ever see magnolia? i would sure hope so. that little girl, claudia? she's a good example. i'd have a pretty amusing to most, peculiar to the rest reality dating show of my own that i got to go choose from a group of girls lying within my criteria. mixed with a touch of my own peculuararity

 

haha...oh man...if I were still the same person I was a few years ago then you would fall madly in love with me. lol!

 

you can have my ex. she's really like that, especially after i dumped her. she was depressed before, think of wat she's like now.

 

Awww...I think you sound so sweet and caring! You gave me a warm fuzzy.

 

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I have always dated guys who thought they could rescue me from a sea of mixed emotions and imbeded secrets. Not one has filled the scratches in my soul...yet.