Alright so i have been single now for about 2 years. Im 21 and know this is still young. I have not been in a relationship for two years. Its not that im not having sex...its just im really picky who i am in a relationship with. And am actually at the moment way more happy being alone and single. When a woman wants a relationship... i say o and they told me i used them. But i tell them straight up before any physcal affection happens i dont want to be in a relationship with you. Then i feel like a asshole after it its not that i am oppossd to relationships i just have not found any woman who i want to be in a relationship with....am i wrong for this..? Is it weird id rather be alone till i find someone i truly adore?. Little help please.
no man its not! if you like it, its good :2thumbsup: i mean, if you arent the relationship kind of guy and think relationships only bring you problems, then you shouldnt do them really isnt that idea of being able to have sex with anyone called 'free love'? if you ever find someone who you feel would like to be in a relationship with, then you should go do it, but if you dont feel like it, dont worry man its not wrong!
Nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a while... if you're up front with your intent to stay clear of any commitment before getting physical then there's no reason to feel like an asshole afterward.
I`m sorry for assuming so, but I get the feeling whenever you feel like that the person you went to bed with couldn`t have been very good in the sack. Am I warm? :biggrin: P.S. Open relationships are also 'relationships', are they not? I think that`s why they are called that.
Why does it have to be before physical contact unless they ask? Does having sex mean you`re automatically monogamous? I have a feeling, people who guilt-trip you afterward without prior discussion are just protecting themselves from the whore label. And slutty sex is exactly what they needed. I think I`ve only been guilt-tripped once or twice and very feebly at that. It`s not like these chicks actually thought I was going to take their guilt-tripping seriously. C`mon! More likely they were afraid they weren`t any good in bed.
It doesn't have to be. If a guilt trip is something to be expected after then either deal with it or be up front about intentions before getting physical and the other party won't have a leg to stand on... not that there's MUCH cause for a guilt trip without discussion. Monogamy isn't necessarily implicit with an odd roll in the hay but some people deal with it differently.. inferring agreements that have not been made. Goes with the territory.
It is what it is... not my place to judge one way or another. The question was "Am I wrong in waiting for someone I truly adore before I commit?" and the answer is no... that's not at all wrong. Unfortunately there will be bruised feelings along the way when the loins are enlisted for recreation- and that goes with the territory... not judging one way or another there. There's little beyond that point that I'm really in a place to contribute.
From where I`m sitting, there is just as much bruised feelings, insecurity, and jealousy in monogamous relationships. I feel sorry for those who engage in monogamy as a way to protect their feelings. Hopefully, there is a different reason. Like...someone who will remember to pick up barbecue sauce when it runs out. j/k :biggrin: I`m hardly qualified to speak of monogamy!
I didn't mean to suggest otherwise... and monogamy isn't a good means of protecting feelings- in too many cases it's the seeds to eventual resentment. Personally I think the reasons for people guilting others into agreeing to something they'd rather not are immaterial. Feelings are going to be bruised in life from time to time- it's how we learn some shit.
