I kinda want a baby.

I know I'm really young to have a baby but in the back of my head latly the thought of having a baby doesn't sound bad at all. I'm really responsible for my age. I buy everything I need. The only thing my parents pay for is my electricity. But thats really not the point. Everytime I see a baby it makes me all tingily inside. It's kind of weird but good at the same time. Has anyone ever felt like this at a young age? Any advice would help.
Peace

 

I feel like that since I am 20, and it got stronger every year, but I guess 20 is a lot more normal, even though I sometimes feel that I am too young. (I'm 22 now)
But for your own good, I suggest to at least finish high school before you "do" something like getting pregnant. Also in terms of relationships, 15 is bit young to decide with whom you want to raise your children. You may feel you are responsible, because basically, you pay everything yourself, but when you have a baby you will need others to help you, because you have to also care for the baby. And babies are a whole lot of work.
The other thing is, most poeple feel mature all the time, and when you're older you realize, how stupid and immature you really acted. But I guess, that's big part of growing up.

 

Girl at your age the best thing to do when you get that "all tingly innside" feeling whenever you see a baby is to get a job in a day care center, a preschool, volunteer at the childrens hospital, babysit for friends & neighbors. You will soon realize that having a baby is not all fun and games. You need to consider 2a.m. feedings, 10 shitty diapers a day & colic. I could go on for days about the down side of parenting. I have 2 boys myself & they are the love of my life, but damn do they get expensive. All i can say to you is stay in school, get a job or volunteer work around children, give it a few years and then see if your still in a hurry to procreate. Until then peace, love & stay safe.

 

I feel that way all the time. I could be a great mom, but I could be a better one if I wait. But yes, it natural to have those feelings. Sometimes I want a baby so bad I cry!

But you have to wait. Having a baby just because you want to is very selfish and immature. How are you paying for everything yourself? You aren't even old enough to have a steady job. Besides, having a baby costs WAY more than people think about. Between all the doctor and hospital visits before the baby, the food, the diapers, the furniture, the clothing, more doctors visits, ect. it seems almost impossible for a young girl to support herself, her baby, have a job and go to school.

So as much as you may want one, let's all stay responsible, shall we?

 

Like the poster above said...You're more mature now than when you were ten. Right? Do you think that it may be possible that rather than being mature, you are actually currently maturing. At age twenty, you'll hopefully again be more mature than you are at fifteen.


Enjoy fifteen. Your a teenager for only seven short years. The day that you turn twenty, you're an adult for the rest of your life...70-80 years. Think about how long that is. When you remember your teenage years, do you want to remember being with your friends and having dates and fun or do you want it to be like the rest of your adult life that you remember....having a child, responsibilities, and little time to hang with friends?

It's true you could have a baby now, lots have done it b4 you. Is it really what's best for your child though?...to have a fifteen year old mother? Only you can answer that. Good luck.

 

Yeah I know what you mean, It would be wonderful to have one, realizing it's something apart of you, but then I realize that I have alot ahead of me, and I just don't want to risk the baby having a unhealthy life-style.

 

Totally agree
Huge ditto to Kastenfrosch too. Especially about the maturing thing (it's embarrasing how I was at 16).

I get broody in the abstract. Do like learning about parenting, picking names and such. Always think 'aww cute baby' and want to hug it. Though the actual being responsible, literally hand dirting aspect utterly terrifies me.

Of course if I did have one tomorrow (no way that could happen) then I'd take care of it and we'd probably manage.
It would just be an astronomically stupid idea to get into that in the first place.
I'm nearly twenty, second year university student, have no issues admiting to being way too selfish for parenting. Won't be ready by any definition for years. At least have the good sense to know that and think/act accordingly.

LOL twist1up4me, my mother is fond of reminding me about that. Daughters are even worse, so I'm told.

 

I kinda would like to have a kid... Someday definatly... But I want to be able to give my child everything I could never have... And im not in any position to do that yet.. My parents were never home when I was little.. I came home to an empty house everyday since I was 8.. I want to be there for my kids.. And At this point I would have to pick up a 3rd and 4th job to support a child and that would mean I would never be home...

There will be time for kids.. at 15 you should be having fun and doing things for yourself... Not living solely for your child

 

Call me old-fashioned, but I daresay that having a strong marriage is an important prerequisite to intentionally having a baby.

 

I'm 22...am very mature and would be able to care for a child...I, like you, would love to have a child to care for and watch grow up. The problem is, you have to have a child WITH someone. I'm 22 and haven't found THAT person yet...you're 15...there is no way you have found that person either. And if you did think you found a guy...more than likely he would be around your age and people change in their teenage years. The guy you knew once would most likely be a guy who you didn't know at all as you got older. YOU might be ready, but I doubt there is a guy out there at 15 or 16 who is ready too...

Maybe you should settle for getting a puppy...I have a dog and it made me realize how much I didn't want a kid right now in my life. I can't leave it at home alone for too long when I go out at night...I can't go away for a weekend without finding someone to watch him or taking him with me...

Really search deep inside yourself and ask if you really are ready for that kind of responsibility.

 

Oh, honey. I've had "baby lust" since I was about 7 or 8. I have always LOVED babies and children. I got my "fix" by doing a LOT of babysitting and daycare for people with small children.


I have to be honest with you. I have four kids, two older than you, and two younger. Your teens is your time to

1. Find out who YOU are. You can try on different personas, develop your Ego (in the Freudiean sense, I don't mean become self aborbed LOL) learn what kind of partner would be best for you, by trail an error ect.
2. HAVE FUN!!!! Your teens are a time to BE FREE! Go out when you want, sleep when you want, eat when you want, hang out when you want, read when you want, talk on the phone when you want.....ALL things you simply can't do with a baby. The baby decides when you do what, even simple things like takng a bath. Babies need you ALL THE TIME, and you need to be FREE at this age and learn about YOU.
3. Continue your education. This is the prime time to do it. Beleive me, you will say you will "go back to it" but with children in the house, this is easier said than done. I had my BS when I started having kids, but got my two MS while I was having kids (and in Grad school you have more time freedom to do things than in HS or undergrad work) and it was hell, and I was an adult.
4. There is plenty of time to have babies when you are older, more mature and more ready.

My advice (Gosh, I hate that work....but that's what I do.....) Do some baby sitting. Take some Child Development Classses. Read some good parenting literature (I can give you a GOOD reading list, if you want, and there is one on the Parenting Forum) and wait.

EVery teen I know says this. As I have told other teens (my own kids, also) being mature involves behavior, not having to tell people. I don't know a teen alive who admits "I'm really not mature at all." Maturity involves knowing what you are getting into, as well as knowing what you are able to handle. Have you done a lot of babysitting? Studied children and child rearing? If not, you are not close to ready. Hon, you are YOUNG. Please enjoy your youth.

Babies take WAY MORE than they give. They won't "complete" you, in fact, they need you to "complete" them, in addition to doing every thing for them.

Even though doing child care cannot ever compeletly prepare you for having babies, it will at least give you a taste of what taking care of small children is. The thing is, you get to give them back, sleep in your own bed, and have the next day to do what you want, when you babysit. Ther will be NONE of that once you have babies of your own.

Please wait. And learn about children in the meantime.
It is great that you have such love for small children, and are feeling your Maternal Instincts so young, It is a good sign. But really, it is better to wait until you are done with school and a little older, better for the baby, and yourself.

Blessings. You will be a mama someday, better it be when you are really ready.

 

hey, i totally know what you mean, i get so broody sometimes and really desperate to have a baby, but i guess that most girls do from when you start your periods as your hormones and such are telling you that you are now biologically ready to have a baby.

the thing i think though, is that not only do you have to provide for your baby's basic needs such as food, warmth et.c, but you are also the person who will teach them about life. and at 15, how much experience of life, of relationships, of hardships, surviving et.c do you have to teach them?

surely its better to live your life as much as you can, and experience as much as you can before you have a child, so that when the time is right and your child grows up and needs answers you will have them to give?

 

I remember feeling the same way as you when I was around your age. It's probably instinct, I mean, many years back, women were married and had babies already by that time! But today's world is different.

I had my first baby, who is now 5 years old, at 21 years of age. I was married, and we were so excited (and nervous!) about our little baby on the way. But as ready as I felt, and as book-smart on the subject of babies and parenting that I thought I was, it was NOTHING like the real thing. I was completely and totally overwhelmed. The constant feeding, the lack of sleep, the colicky first few months...I was convinced that I would probably never have another child again. *laughs* Seriously though, it was tough, and I was 21. I couldn't imagine what it would be like for someone of your age, even though I know it's been done. Everyone reacts differently, some are more mature than others, but let's face it. It's HARD work. Well worth it, but hard.

I am also the mother of 2 year old twins. I was 24 years old (almost 25) when I had them, and I adapted like it was second nature, despite my fears of being a mother to twins. I felt much more relaxed and laid back than I had with my first child, but that's to be expected I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if it came easier because of the maturing I had done in the past years, because I certainly felt more aware than I had before. But my point is, babies are wonderful. They are an absolute blessing, and I love mine more than I can ever express, but, and I don't mean to be down on you, you are only 15. You have so much ahead of you yet! I totally understand your baby lust, because I had it too. I think many, many girls do. But the thing is, at this point in your life, to purposely become pregnant doesn't sound like too wise of an idea yet. Can you honestly, in your heart, say that you're ready to embark on such a journey yet?

 

AWESOME advice Maggie!

 

I don't know much about kids... I never really got into taking care of children, to tell you the truth, but I know this much:
You're 15 years old and the most important thing right now should be finishing your education, finding a career or job that you enjoy, being able to financially support yourself, etc...
In my opinion, to have a child when you don't yet have YOUR own whole life together yet, is not a good situation, for you OR the child.
I also think it's important that you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and that you know wants to be with you forever too.... This doesn't always happen in our era, but I still think it's important. My parents are divorced, and the pain was excrutiating for me to have to go through that...but at the same time I'm thankful that I had a full intact family growing up... My boyfriend on the other hand, is 18, has a kid, and the whole situation is a mess... obviously he's not with this girl anymore, and she's married to someone else. To put a child through all that is unnecessary if you can prevent it, and being 15...I'd say you can prevent it.

Also just the title of your thread scares me "I KINDA want a baby"....when you're ready for a baby you won't be saying "kinda"...

I know you may be impatient, but having a child is something you HAVE to be patient with and wait until you're ready. Please use protection

By the way, I just want you to know that anything I said wasn't meant to offend you, it just worries me when young girls are thinking of having a child at such a young age. Take your love for children, and make the right decision by not having a child until you have enough money to financially support it, a dad who will be active in the child's life...etc. That is the best thing you can possibly do for a child.

 

I do babysit. A 2 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. And I love babysitting whenever I can. Thats how I support myself. And I got a job at the store to support my parents through our ruff patch where my dad was layed off and my mom got little income. I do have lots of fun and I know that I', not compleatly ready to have a baby. This isn't ment to offend anyone but Im more into girls then guys so finding the right guy and settling down doesn't play a major part in my life. I would if I found an awesome guy but I would do the same if I found an awesome girl.
Peace

 

Ok I can definetly relate to the wanting a baby bug. I've suffered from it very hard the past year and a half. But I can also tell you that at 15 you are SOOOOOOO not ready. My first child was born 5 days after I turned 19 and I was lost! I even stayed in a looser relationship long enough to get pregnant again before I left. I raised both of those children on my own until I met my husband. Let me tell you raising a baby at a young age is very difficult no matter if you have help or not. But most likely at your age you'd be raising the child by yourself since most guys your age honestly don't stick around.

Finish school! Get all your running out! Get a GOOD job! Find the right partner! Get into some form of COMMITTED relationship! THEN think about dealing with the baby bug feelings.

A little story for you to think about considering your age and the life and partying you have yet to experience.

My sister got pregnant at 17. Never finished high school. Her and her boyfriend split up shortly after the baby was born. She is a complete party girl. She has no job. Lives off of state aid. And parks her child with anyone that will take her so that she can go run and party and if she can't get a free sitter she drags the baby with her. DO you know who is going to suffer from that situation? It sure isn't going to be my sister. It's going to be my innocent little niece that has never done anything wrong, well ok but you get what I mean.

I guess my point is that your way to young to be thinking about a baby. If you have a baby at your age, you may suffer some by ending up in a dead end job because you didn't properly finish your education but more likely than not it is your child that is going to suffer from not having the stability that comes from having GROWN parents. And even if you did turn out to be a teen parent that honestly wanted to go to school and support your child your child suffers from being in daycare 12 or more hours a day while you work AND go to school.

Ok I think I'm done rambling and I hope some of this madness make some since to you. The biggest point is you are too young! Don't do it!

 

Ok, so scratch out the father part.... regardless of that you're still young, and even if your whole life was set for you, your body and mind aren't ready, whether you think so or not. I'm sure you are more mature than most 15 year old girls, but be honest with yourself, you still have some growing up to do. I'm 18, and I know that I'm still too young to even THINK about having a child... mentally and emotionally I wouldn't be ready for it... And, with that, I look back to when I was 15, and I thought that I was ready for anything, and that I was extremely mature for my age, which I might have been....but I was even TONS more immature than I am now... and I still have some growing to do. Please, Bunny Hugg, don't jump into a life-altering decision too quickly....Children can be a blessing, definitely, but if you wait on it til youre a bit older, I can guarantee it will go more smoothly than it would now.

Again, please don't take offense to my suggestions; I just want you to be careful.

 

I'll be 32 years old soon. My parents were teenagers when I was born. They still act like teenagers, and I don't mean that in a good way. They're irresponsible.

My dad decided that this whole parenting thing was a drag. So he didn't do it. He wanted to party instead. Even if having the dad involved isn't important to you, it might be really important to your kid. I'm still pissed off about it. Now my dad is in his forties and he's raising someone else's kids. I guess he's finally ready. We don't speak to each other.

My mother still reminds me, my brothers, and MY KIDS, just about daily, that she considers us a burden. The whole time I was growing up she told me constantly that having me so young ruined her life and robbed her of her youth. As a child I wished that I hadn't been born and destroyed her life. I felt guilty for existing. It wasn't my choice, though, was it?

We always lived in poverty. Once we took a bike ride to the park at dusk and she got off of her bike and started crying. She said we were going to live in the park because she couldn't pay the rent. This was my fault, for being born when she was so young, of course.

So, no, a person your age isn't ready. This is a decision that will affect generations. Now my kids have to feel like a burden because my parents are still acting like their lives were ruined by my birth. It's not just about you. The kid doesn't have a choice.

When you babysit, too, that's a whole different thing. You get to give them back at the end of the day.

Please just enjoy being young for now.

And please, if you ever think you have met Mr. Right, please be engaged for ten years. A marriage license costs around $60. My divorce is running into the thousands....

 

I thought it over and i know im not ready. i love kids but they would have a better life if i was older.i would be able to do more with them then and they and i would be happier. thanks for all your advice