I just can't seem to get over the fact that...

women don't.. fucking do anything towards the effort of initiating love and relationships (hold on, hear me out then you can give your opinion).

Y'all just sit back, gossip with your girls, dress pretty sure and perhaps give some looks but most if not all of y'all expect it to come and happen to you. (Like it's your destiny for some tall, dark & handsome man to all of a sudden be madly in love with you, on sight, (but of course you'll deny the attraction was purely physical, and you want him to love you for your insides -- do you see how much bullshit y'all create?)

There's a girl I started getting to know. Facebook says it's her birthday today and I could very well pick up the phone and text her a nice message. But not once since we started talking has she picked up her phone and texted me [first], or posted on my wall first.

Even at the last party we were at, though she was responsive to my flirting, and eventually flirted back a little herself, not once did she get of her lazy ass and find me at the party. In fact, I bet had I not approached her to say hi, we probably woudln't have talked at all (she sat in the same chair, surrounded by two guys the whole time).

It's shit like that man... I know in today's society, I probably shouldn't be keeping count. But fuck am I the only one in this? Is there a proper resolution to my stubborness that doesn't involve me throwing away my values?

*And this thread is not about the girl. And please don't blast me for generalizing women. I'm looking for actual solid advice in this area, so I can move on to a more healthy bias or position.

Hope this thread works better than the last one lol. :sultan:

 

Wait...what? My advice is you find a girl who puts effort into your relationship. And stop thinking all girls are the same. Most of the relationships I've found myself in, I initiated. The only one I don't recall putting much effort into starting is the one I'm in now, and that was just because I wasn't looking for a relationship when he came along. Maybe your problem is you're going for the wrong girls and thus, lump them all together in a big pile of vaginas, because really, if we're all such bitches, why would you want one of us for anything but sex?

 

Maybe you need a man

 

I don't think she's that into you or she would put out some effort. Just because a girl dreams of a guy who will sweep her off her feet don't mean a girl won't do the same if she really digs you! You just haven't found the right girl that's all.

 

So when was the last time you saw a cute guy, and you went up and talked to him?
Or asked for his number first?

Or tried to get him to like you?

Then tell me anywhere near 50% of girls routinely do this, because they don't. This has been the burden of men for far too long, in my opinion. Perhaps I've overlumped some minorities into the majority, but the reasons for my frustration is the majority.

But I did write this for advice, so I'll take it what's given...

Unfortunately, I still feel as a man I'm going to have to initiate some, especially early on (unless someone can convince me otherwise), but if I can, I'm going to be more picky about who I choose to return that effort for. Perhaps someone that I feel doesn't feel as entitled 'cuz she's a shy [pretty] woman, etc.

 

People are people and either gender is equally able to initiate and pursue a relationship until the object of their interest throws up a stop sign.

I don't know anyone in this society and culture that feels bound by out-dated rules of dating and their is no reason they should be.

Your profile has not been filled out so I don't know if you live somewhere that isn't as progressive, but given the fact that you are talking about facebook and texting, I don't think that's the case.

If you are having trouble starting relationships it may not be because you are a victim of antiquated social "rules".

 

Yeah the outdated rules are where men pursuit women and "court" them and all that shit. I was subjected to it but decided it was bullshit...I started befriending guys I liked and then eventually asked one out, I was rejected but got over it. Everybody learns their own approach, mine is say hi or smile at him...if he responds positively then talk to him, if he's interesting keep talking and if he shows some sing of being physically attracted then I'll ask him about going somewhere or he'll ask me. If I like a dude I try if I don't like him like that he trys and I say sorry, not interested.

Hear this, I HATED the outdated rules where I felt I had to wait wait wait, I'm glad I know I don't. Even some guys think that if a girl goes after them she's too aggressive or some shit...its stupid. So I try first 40% of the time (flirting I start that always)...because guys still think they have to ask first. I also have social anxiety so many times I can't when I want to...I'm not shy with guys but groups of people mostly. Sucks.

 

I don't really believe in gender rules or anything, but...case in point:

A friend of mine is pretty forward with guys. And she always scares them away. And no, she isn't scaring them away for other reasons. She's beautiful and smart and charming, and also aggressive with the opposite sex.

Whereas I am not forward at all. I play hard to get, not because I'm playing but because I'm really shy when I like someone. Guys generally seem to enjoy the chase with me. The few times I've been more forward, I scared the guys away. But I don't scare them away when I sit back and let them come to me.

Therefore, women will change when guys' attitudes change.

Thats just a gross over generalization either way. You're wrong because there are definitely females out there that aren't afraid to pursue a guy, and I'm wrong because some guys actually do like being pursued and do not get scared away.

 

obviously it's not 100% either way, but anyone who thinks women initiate even 10% as often as men do is deluding themselves.

 

Learn to pay, bubba. Pay, pay, pay. Whores are the solution to all your problems. You won`t believe how much initiative women suddenly have when there is cash on the line.

Eject from nightlife. Exit parties. Exit alcohol. Eject dumb ass flirting. Exit the agonizing gayness of dating and marriage. Have the bangedest chick you ever saw on your cock at the drop of a dime.

A blonde tonight, a black chick tomorrow, bit titties the day after, and a huge ass the day after that. Anal this week, facial the week after, a threesome the week after that.

What are regular chicks good for anyway? Time for a paradigm shift.
---------

Edit: And before you say anything about money, it is cheaper than all the partying you do hoping to pick up some princess who`s a zero in bed anyway. Smoke in mirrors, bubba. Time for the big leagues.

If go out you must, then at least have a legitimate goal. Alcohol is awesome! Dancing! Hanging out with friends! But sex? No, wrong place. :biggrin:

Edit2: The most beautiful thing about not depending on chicks who don`t like sex for sex, is that you can actually be friends with them. They stop interesting you in any other way, and you can breathe free and stop hating them.

 

Loool, that is hilarious. I like this theory.
But in response to the OPs thingie, I feel that I can do anything I want. If I like you, I'm gonna persue. The thing is, girls like to play the game. They like to be approached, but just because they're not being HEADS ON doesn't mean they aren't interested. I have asked a fair share out, I have also been asked out by a fair share. Personally, I like to flirt and drop subtle hints and see how he responds first then if it seems like he's responding I dive in. It's the game. Sometimes I flirt with other guys just to get his attention and show him I'm not gonna sit around waiting for a response... That can backfire though. I think that's maybe what your girl was doing. Who knows with women anyway? We're bloody confusing! :2thumbsup:

 

I personally like having the "burden" of initiating relationships. If a girl was too forthright with me I do not think I would be very attracted to her. Of course, I fully accept that it might not be the same for you - maybe that's just the type of girl I like.

But you should at least accept this - men and women are different, that's why generally men like women and women like men. If we were the same in all aspects no one would like anyone except homosexuals, and that would never happen because without reproduction we wouldn't be here.

 

Girls like to be chased in the initial stages, and to be honest they deserve it. It is the only way they have to gauge how much you actually like them. I bet you anything if a girl turned around and said "Sure, let's go. You can have me and do what you want to me" and texted you every second you would feel smothered, lose interest and run away faster than she could bat any eyelid. You only want her because she doesn't want you (pretending or not!). I know a guy is worth my time if he is persistent and doesn't give up right away. I have too much self respect to just give myself over to any guy that flirts with me a little. I also clearly discourage anyone I am not interested in, and encourage the ones I am.

 

How little is too little though? That is what I have trouble with. If you reject him, how much should he persist? I tend to walk away at any sign of rejection, which I think is proper sociable behaviour, and any girl with "self respect" would not reject or refuse to show affection towards someone she liked.

 

i've never met a girl that "deserved" to sit around and have the guy do all the work. being born with a vagina is not an accomplishment that should be rewarded.

no it's not. and how the hell is the guy supposed to gauge how much she actually likes him, if the only possible way to tell is by being chased?

a girl not playing retarded games and just saying what she wants is great. texting every second would be smothering, but if you think that running away or acting like an overly needy psychopath are the only two possible options then i'm clearly wasting my time with this post.

no. if that were the case, there would be no couples because as soon as she finally gave in he would take off.

well i'm glad you don't just fuck any guy who's interested in you, but if the interest is mutual that's still not enough unless he's willing to humiliate himself and harass you endlessly first?

pretending to not be interested is not encouragement, it's clear discouragement.

 

I dont think I've actually asked out more than 4-5 women, most of them have come at me. I kinda' like it like that, saves me time.

 

It's not un-natural for the male of any species to be the initiator. Birds have their little dances,lions roar around and dominate the females quite roughly if they submit,frogs their have mating calls for attraction and the males are more attractive in many cases--peacocks are a prime example and so forth with most species. It's pretty much always up to the female to accept or reject the advances made by the males. The criteria is just the female looking for the so-called ideal to perpetuate and/or improve the species. And to get laid,of course.Ours is just more complicated by our socializations. ---so fuck it. Don't pout about it--go for it.

 

I have always gone after men I've been interested in. I don't like being persued.

 

Love It......:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

I beg to disagree on that one.