I Haven't Felt Happiness Since Two Years Ago

I'm 19 and I have not felt happy since a couple of years.I lack passion and will to live.Since I were just a kid I felt loneliness and emptiness(I have a normal family with both parents ad siblings).I feel confortable with them and love everyone...but I think that i would be ok by myself too.As a child I used to be at a theater club and the feelings stoped for a short time.As growing up i discover that the loneliness still there.I dealt with that and accepted it as a part of me,then that was the moment when i realized that maybe i liked it.I had a group of friends but I enjoy keeping a low profile so no one can't bother and everyone will leave me alone but then I met some girl whom I didn't dislike talking(usually i keep everything for myself).I didn't have any romantic feelings towards her,I just really enjoy our non-sense talks.She left the town a couple of years after and that was hard for me.At 16 I realized that I was empty inside(I don't have even a favorite color,but still there are things I enjoy).After all i have little moments of emotion but thats it.I'm not socially akward(theater club made me a great liar,so i can make "friends" easily) but every relationship seems so fragile and unreal to me,so i rather be on my own.Right now Its not like I'm depressed but I recently need to tell somebody about everything.Ah!and Ifound out that i might be bisexual.

 

When do you feel more unhappy? Among your friends (or other people maybe) or on your own?

You say you prefer to be on your own but you don't feel happiness when you are, right? And when you think about that you mind wanders to relationships or being around other people? Which may not have been satisfactory in experience so far, but this is where your thoughts go to. Just seeing if I interprete it right!

How would your possible bisexuality be connected to your lack of happiness? Sometimes clarity can be provided by stating what seems to be the obvious and see what you wrote/said in front of you. Another thought: Would you say you lack passion in everything? It seems that when you were happy or experiencing happiness it was when you had a connection (even if the non sense talks were what made it so good). Just thinking out loud here!

 

10 years for me.
I have no passion(s) as well, so I just decided to try to earn a lot of money.

 

^
You seem to have several passions? You love books for one, and seem to have a solid taste in paintings that you thoroughly enjoy (at times at least).

 

Your at a difficult time in your life, don't give up, and don't make any bad decisions, your journey is only beginning, let it happen..be who you are, and what you are..in your future, live now..and grow!

 

I'm ok alone but i'm ok with people too.Studying and working are good distractions so i'm focused on this(so I can buy a huge forest and get lost in there).I like the fact that people don't judge my ways but i have to admit that I would be happy if someone make me feel less lonely(even if I kinda enjoy it).

 

I've met so many people our age that are the same way. And to me anyway it is so obvious what the problem is. You have no sense of purpose. You can be happy alone but you need to make a purpose for yourself. But honestly it is much easier if you can just feel needed.

Go find a girlfriend or some friends that you can work on stuff with. Go volunteer with kids, they'll think you're awesome. Just try and find some purpose in your life.