I have HPV.

It's a rare case and is eating my uterus alive.

For some reason, the lover who gave it to me is continuing to have an active and happy sex life -- although he knows he carries the virus. He just tells girls beforehand and they agree to take the risk!

But as for me ... when I tell a man that I have it, he gets pissed. I've actually been hit across the face.
Even nice guys are hesitant about "catching it" (although as I understand from talking to doctors, I am far less likely to pass it on than is my male lover ... it doesn't affect men physically, and it's so common that most likely everyone I sleep with has it anyway.)

Some guys are upset and won't sleep with me because it would mean I could never have their babies.

What is WITH this inequality?

 

I feel bad for you. did the guy that gave it to you, know he had it?
what kind of treatment are you getting for it? oh, and that jerk that hit you, I hope you hit him back!

 

I'm sooo sorry Suncatch. I hate when judge and assume before they know the facts. Actually, I've overreacted when confronted with a similar situation. I didn't hurt anyone in the prosses though, just myself.
If its hard for people to talk openly about sex, then I guess its ten times harder to discuss std's rationally.
Take care of yourself.

 

Suncatch22 you are right it is very common and it comes in somany form. It is known to lay dorment in females and males more so in females. you can be acarrier and have no idea until some sign shows up on your pap test. I am very sorry you have an agressive signs of this. You never know what will be its form of out break warts,cervical cancer or just a bad pap.
The guys,they are just being dicks about it because they are scared of things they do not understand that is what condoms are for.
I have the kind that just makes my pap come back abnormal got it from my husband that didn't know his ex was a dormant carrier which we found out after we talked to her after he went to the doctor. She went and found out she had it she freaked and appologized because he was her first. Obviosly we are just with each other so we do not have to worry about spreading it on. But it took her a while to come to terms. She is up front with the guys she told us most are ok with it they just wear a condom or too.
I hope the doctors can help the damage it is causing with out you have to suffer to much in the process. Remember we are here for you.

 

Thanks, guys. =) I TRULY appreciate it ...

I just don't understand this because I have ALWAYS, ALWAYS used a rubber (except the time that it was forced on me, which was NOT the time I contracted this).
My doctor said HPV could be transmitted through a condom ... ?!

The guy who gave it to me didn't know he had it before I found out and told him. He has told his new girlfriend and she does not care, so it doesn't affect his sex life at all.
He was only the third man I was ever with, and the first two were rape. Now I can't have another lover, and might even die, while he can continue on as if nothing happened? I don't think that is fair

Guys just don't understand, even when I explain. Most of them don't want to be with me because they assume a.) I'm a slut who fucks all kinds of guys without condoms, b.) they might catch it and pass it on to some other girl who would later rip their balls off, c.) I won't be able to get pregnant, or d.) all of the above.

I think that is sort of shitty. It's not like it can harm THEM even if they DO catch it ... and why should they care if I can have a baby or not? Most of them wouldn't support a baby even if I could have one, and I wouldn't want to have one even if I could. What is the big deal?!

Oh, but it IS a big deal ... to everyone but me. Get this: my doctors won't give me a hysterectomy because I am only nineteen and some man might want me to have his child someday. Never mind that maybe I might die, and certainly will be in pain until then ... never mind that the complications from a pregnancy might kill me ... I am only useful in their eyes as a vessel for babymaking.

I'm bringing this up, by the way, not to throw a pity party for myself but to reveal some of the hideous inequalities in modern medicine and society, especially in the areas dealing with STDs/STIs.
Nothing is EVER the man's fault, and women bear the brunt of everything.
(More or less being wry ... but it's also kind of true. )

PS: I didn't hit the guy back. I kicked him in the balls.

 

Suncatch22 Have you seen another doctor for a second opinion on if they would give you the hysterectomy? Has he even given you a treatment plan of any sorts? I am very sorry that you are going through this hell. I know when my hubby got the first signs of hpv I was a little pissed because he blamed me because I had been with more people So I went to the Dr. to be tested the next day and came out clean until last year. His ex came out positive right off the bat. So where it came from was determined unless he gave it to her but he had only been with the two us. I wasn't pissed that he had HPV as much as I was that he blamed me. I hope you will find a ways that is less tramatizing to deal with this just do not give up on another relationship yet there will be someone out there that is understanding. But definatly get a second opinion.

 

I sort of don't really WANT a hysterectomy because I hear it can throw you into early menopause, as well as diminish your sex drive ...
(not that it would matter because at this rate I won't have sex again anyway! just kidding, although I almost don't WANT to if it causes this much suffering.)

I've been told there ARE no treatments for me except surgery (which I can't afford), chemo (which I refuse to endure because it's technically not CANCER) and painkillers. I'm on some homeopathic remedies which take down the inflammation, and really it isn't ALL bad ... it might clear itself up, and I can deal with it either way.

The worst part for me is the emotional hell. This has just reminded me how disposable I am to other human beings and that hurts a lot worse than any uterine inflammation.

My family (well, my mother, and her friends who were like my aunts) won't offer much support because they say I brought this on myself by having "promiscuous" sex (aka, sex that I wanted to have -- if I'd contracted it via rape, they wouldn't be upset! ... and at that, sex with someone I knew would not marry me).
They say if I had just been a Good Girl, this would never have happened ... but clearly, as Relic pointed out, it COULD still happen within the confines of marriage!

Just wish I was not stigmatized so much ... it's a nonissue to me, I never wanted babies and can live with a little discomfort.
It only becomes an issue because it's an issue to everyone else.

 

Sorry double clicked bottom post is correct

 

I know what you are going through on the emotional level. Hell when he found out He was ok with talking to his family see he got the wart factor with it, so a little lasor surgury follow his check ups and he is ok with being a dormit carrier. His whole family and mine knows about him. But not me I am more private with myfamily,They always acts terrible when somthing goes bad with their sweet little Ang. She must of been Whoring around my dad would say because that is the type of person he is. My sister knows she had and issue with a pregnancy induced HPV break out. Treatment after the birth put her's dormit. But for me I fear the future of carring it will I end up with cancer what lies in store next and what happends if god forbid we ever divorce?
So I definatly understand the emotional stress. Just remember I am here if you need to talk.

 

Suncatch - I hope you find a good guy who will accept you as you are - a good person who has been victimized and deserves much better.

 

Thanks ... I appreciate it, truly

The odd thing is, I don't think of myself or want to be thought of as a victim. If my life and what has happened to me could serve as some sort of eye-opener to help one person -- or even to help one person change one thing about the world -- then it would serve my purposes.

I hope someone out there reads about this and makes a small change in the way he or she thinks about STDs and STIs ... and about people who have them. If someone could make strides to help such people, or even to treat them a little better ... I would someday die happy

Basically, I like to be very open about the hells I go through in the hopes that even one person might change their perceptions of, or the way they think about or treat, other people.

 

Oh, PS: I don't have visible symptoms of HPV. No warts or anything. (I sometimes get bumps, but they go away, and besides I've always had them on and off like that ...)
I've noticed I'm a bit more tender sometimes (won't tell you how I've noticed), but not always, and I'm not even sure it's related.

The only change my body has gone through is that my belly (which used to be pretty flat) has puffed out like I'm in very early pregnancy and my uterus feels very hard from the swelling.
So it's not as though a man would look at me and SEE that I have a "disease" ... there is nothing to indicate he would get warts, and I seriously doubt his uterus would become inflamed

 

Oh wow!
Leave it to modern medicine to leave out a HUGE piece of information that might be of help to patients ...

My problem is: I have no idea which formula I might have to use, or if it would even help a case such as mine.
I'm not afraid of surgery if it comes to that ... except for the idea of possible surgical complications, lost sex drive and early menopause, I would be almost relieved at the idea of hysterectomy. It's just the issue of paying for it ... :&

 

Suncatch,

Your family sucks if they treat you like that. I hate shoulda coulda woulda's, as they never help to solve the problem that is at hand.

As for HPV, I don't know much about it except that condoms provide virtually no protection against it ( which I had to look up myself because they neglected to mention that in health class back in high school ... wtf ), males don't have any physical symptoms, and it can cause cervical cancer. A friend of mine supposedly dying from cervical cancer, but she hasn't told me anything ( heard it from a mutual friend who got it out of her while they were tossing back shots ).

Anyway, I'm a strong advocate of self-education, healthy life-styles, and second, third, and fourth or however many opinions it takes to get the one that will provide you with the most positive reinforcement.

Imo, less than 50% of all doctors actually know what they are talking about. Most have a god complex, and a lot, which I read in a recent article I found in Men's Health, have a substance abuse problem. So look at each doctor as a potential addict.

 

=)

good point.

I had only spoken to female doctors who all seemed in a hurry to get to the next patient ... and who didn't really know a whole lot about my actual problem to begin with.
I just don't have a lot of money and am limited to seeing the doctors who are covered under my health insurance ... which is in itself covered by state welfare. Not a huge range of specialists available.

I had considered myself fairly well-educated, beforehand
but since discovering I had this, in October, I've found out I am pretty ignorant.

First they said I had an irregular pap
next it was potential cervical cancer
now it's not cervical but uterine ... something-or-other. They really hesitate to call it cancer, but ... it's pretty fucked up whatever it is.

 

I think you need a further opinion from a good doctor. Years ago I gave a urine sample and a little later got a call to come into the medical office right away , for some more tests. I did, and they said i had a rare problem - even though I had a penis, my urine was a female's urine, and I might be a woman. So they made me masturbate to orgasm to see if I really had sperm. I did, and then they discovered that they had mixed up my urine sample with that of a woman's. They apologized for creating unnexcessary problems for me. I just shook my head and thought, "fucking idiots". End of story.

 

Dude that's classic. I've heard of a woman who was genetically a man, and while she a developing fetus, something went wrong and she had a major hormomone imbalance, so she was born female. She had breast, a vagina, and a clitoris, but no uterus and no ovaries, therefore she did not have a monthly cycle and could not bare children. She had testicles embedded beneath her abdomen where her ovaries should a have been. This was years ago, and she was already an old woman and married by the time it was discovered that she was suppose to be a man. She said she always felt like a woman and never gave a second thought about it. She just figured she was infertile and that was that.

But I never heard of vice versa occuring.

 

I later married, had kids, and every woman I have been with agrees that I am a male, as does everyone except those screwed up doctors. It was especially interesting, because at the time I gave the urine sample, I was in the Navy, and the Navy did not take female JAG officers at the time.

But regarding Suncatch, this diagnosis has obviously been traumatic for her, and I think she needs another exam and a second opinion.

 

OMG! I'm sorry but that is fucking funny as hell. I'd be pissed (no pun intended)for sure!

 

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I fully agree with you on need the need for a second opinion.

Suncatch,
Please find another doctor to check things out for you.