I Have Decided To Prove Who I Am To You, My Children

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by -GOD-, Jun 1, 2004.

  1. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    There have been some doubtful people, thinking that I was a fraud.

    Thou shall not take the word of the Lord lightly.

    Thou shall not put your God to the test.

    BUT, since there's nothing good anyhow on tv...

    So, here are the proofs, I've lost my wallet with my i.d. so, I hope that this will do.

    -God never lies. I am God. What more do you want?

    Ok. Here's more, just in case...

    -There will be at least 5 heavy snowstorms somewhere in the states next Winter.

    -The number of people sick this year will vary from the numbers of the past year.

    -The price of gas will go up again.

    -The Pope will die very soon.

    -I will continue to let trees and all plant life grow.

    -Someone with the name of John will kill someone, sometime, somewhere.
  2. I am not even vaguely surprised that god is a fool. LoL!
  3. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    You have called your God names in vain.

    For this, I will make sure your viagra prescription gets lost in the mail!
  4. Well goddey I don't beleeve in chemical prescriptions. Though I am a fool too, so the vanity is nothing but a little love.
  5. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    Be VERY careful with your soap next time you wash, you could slip.

    Although we both know that you've presently taken you 2004 shower.
  6. In 2012 the sky will turn red and you will bleed for the first time and I will cry for you, because I find it funny that, despite everything, I still lub you.
  7. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    i dont beleave in you -GOD- ,

    so y can i still see your posts...this is weird...im freaking out
  8. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    You can still read me Willy.

    No doubt.

    Through your veil of unbelief my love shines for you. You also haven't put me on the ignore list.

    Truly yours,

    Your Heavenly Father.
  9. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    ok then answer me this....
    Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
  10. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    Thou shall not put your God to the test.

    BUT, in my infinite kindness I will respond to that dumb question.

    Jesus walks on water, NOT fire. Can't you guys be sober for at least the time to read one page of the Bible per day?

    What is it with this generation? I don't ask you guys union fees, taxes or anything, just read the fucken sacred Bible. Nah, you don't have time, the internet, reality shows, ect...
  11. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    Im not testing you...im just making conversation

    anyway...so ur saying that he wouldent be able to eat a really really hot burrito

    if jesus could walk on water how did he take a bath...could he just turn it off and on
  12. Maverick

    Maverick Banned

    God can't operate computers.
  13. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    how do you know?
  14. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    Children, do not fight amongst yourselves.

    Loveth one another, till your anus bleeds.
  15. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    i was not fighting just asking a simple question
    anyway u didnt answer my question
    if jesus could walk on water how did he take a bath...could he just turn it off and on
  16. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    I know you were not fighting.

    I was avoidingeth the question.

    See...er...Jesus...er...always had this thing about soap...er... Holy Mary got bloody furious at time about it...

    I would rather not talk about it...
  17. dylanzeppelin

    dylanzeppelin daydream believer

    interesting ..very interesting..
  18. gesone

    gesone Member

    Indeed, isn't it?

    "Grilled cheese sandwiches will save the world!"
  19. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

    er; isn't god's real mom grace slick from jefferson airplane? and what does some poor rable rouser named after (the greek name for) an egyptian god (osirus) who was mistreated by a wanna be world dictatorship (the roman empire) have to do with it? (he DID do a good job of bringing down the roman empire long after his own assention though. which was a pretty cool trick. too bad people today seem to think he makes a good excuse to try and create another one)

    and of course the nontangable CAN interact with the internet without even needing a keyboard or isp to do so. energy IS easier for the nontangable to manipulate then physical matter directly.
  20. -GOD-

    -GOD- Banned

    Themnax, you eateth too much alphabetical soup.

    As for your inquiry my son, I have had many names over eternity. Osiris, Yaveh, Boudah, ect... Today my friends at the pool parlor just call me Ralph. At first God was ok but with all the hype over the years it seemed pretentious. I have kept God for my last name, so, Ralph God is ok.

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