I have been questioning myself

I've been questioning myself for the past year and a half about my body and self.

Some days I wake up all manly and other day I wake up more feminine.

( just to clarify I'm 25 and my body is male. )

I do have multiple account on social network a male and a female one. I have more facility when I'm on my female account to expressed myself to people than when I'm on my male account. ( could it be because it not me that why Im at ease to expressed myself)

I also like to wear woman clothing. I feel it more comfortable than man clothing.

Also with my GF (yes she know ^) when she treat me like a woman I'm more aroused than when she treat me like a man. Even some of my friend tell that I'm more the woman of the couple than my gf. The also said that my gf is more of the man of the couple.


What do you think of this?

 

What do I think of it? Well, I think it's fine and normal. Gender isn't binary like we're taught. You might be genderfluid (everyone is a little, it's where you go back and forth between gender identities) or you might just still not be comfortable realizing that you are a female. Or maybe you're genderqueer or androgynous or something else. Maybe you're a guy who likes to wear feminine clothes? Your gender isn't something you have to figure out overnight, and you don't even have to put a label on it. Maybe talking to a gender therapist would help you figure out something?

I didn't realize I was a guy until this year. I actually thought maybe I was genderqueer for a while because it seemed like too far of a leap to say I was a guy... but as time wore on I realized just how much more comfortable I was in masculine clothing and I would get called "sir" or "he" by random people I didn't know, I realized that those felt so much more comfortable to me, and I would almost cringe when I was called female pronouns. Once I figured it out, it all seemed so obvious to me. There were so many signs from when I was a kid until that point which could have made me realize, but I guess I was too blinded by my upbringing to figure it out. I've never actually felt like a girl, but I have had "girly" days. I've gone through times in my life where I wore feminine clothing because I wanted to be able to attract guys... but not because I liked the clothes. I'm not the most masculine guy, and I don't want to be. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there are females out there who are as if not more masculine than I am.

Whether you end up realizing you're a girl, non-gender conforming, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc, just do what makes you most comfortable. Don't think any gender means you have to dress feminine or masculine or act in any certain way. Definitely seek out a gender therapist, too! Also there are a ton of internet resources available to you and possibly support groups in your area.

 

i can definitely relate to this... im constantly going back and fourth with myself. There are times when i truly believe i am female, but then when i look in the mirror or try to dress feminine and change my appearance to look more feminine, but no matter what i do, i just look like a dude in womens clothing. then i start to think about everything involved in transitioning to female i just get overwhelmed and discouraged because i get afraid that i wont be pretty enough or look feminine enough. i want to look truly feminine like most transgendered women do. i dont want to look like a guy in female clothing wearing makeup. so every time i try to dress feminine and put on makeup and everything, ill look in the mirror and just be disgusted, so i immediately scrub off the makeup and change back into my male clothes.

the thing is, when i have makeup on and im wearing feminine clothing, i feel AMAZING. i feel like myself. its just that when i look into the mirror i dont look like myself.

it really sucks because i would much rather wear womens clothing and makeup. im constantly dressing up in private and lounging around in female clothing because of how good and how normal it makes me feel, but theres no way i would be caught dead in public like that because i would just appear as a "dude" in womens clothing or some "freak"

i feel like i living a lie though when i go through life looking like and being portrayed as a male, but i guess i would rather that than deal with the torture i would be subjected to if i were to dress feminine in public...

 

Just be comfortable with who you are

 

it would be a lot easier if i looked how i feel...