When I found out that there was a board entirely devoted to confessions it intrigued and frightened me simultaneously. It feels weird to write about this, it's always something I've tried to keep quiet. I've had an array of eating issues for the majority of my life and the length of my life isn't very long. As much as I would like to discuss it in it's entirety, some crevasses are just too embarrassing to delve into. So I will just type out some things regarding it. I've started seeing a therapist, and I understand it's not something that will change overnight, but man is it frustrating. But at the same time it's my fault. Or not fault per-say, but it's something that I could change if I really had the determination. I HATE it, but I fail at making minimal steps that I know I can make. My family has pretty much primed me for having an eating disorder, and it is just so exhausting and repetitive. I do have hope, but more skepticism that anything else. Phew, feels good to type that out, even though I didn't really elaborate. Just getting some of the feelings out is pleasant.
Good for you Catalya, ( cool name BTW) I'm glad you found somewhere to vent...family can make you nuts sometimes. Good luck to you!
What do you think caused your disorder? or triggered it? I've had issues with eating for years now. I tend to eat just one meal a day and food doesn't taste good to me really at all. I only enjoy fruit. I actually really can't understand how some people eat so much. Some people eat like three meals, plus snacks. It seems like so much. Overall, I find food disgusting. Well I've figured my 'disorder' has occured because I'm a type 1 diabetic and have to inject insulin each time before eating. So over the years I've started associating food with pain (the injection). Just thought I'd share and try to relate a little bit.
The thing with me, is that it's not always under-eating...which brings A LOT of shame...After going to my therapist a couple of times, I can almost fully attribute my eating disorder to how I was raised and my family. I've also always had some sort of "vanity" thing my entire life. When I was younger it was makeup, then it progressed to hair, now it's weight and food. I've always been on a constant journey towards perfectionism of the self. But I would say that mentality would be 10% of the problem and the family would be the rest. Thanks so much to everyone, I appreciate you all taking the time
Good luck... You probably are pretty close to "perfection" and you just don't see it. Don't try to judge yourself with other peoples eyes... Be yourself and enjoy what you are.
Thanks man, I can get a glimpse of acceptance sometimes, but it just dissipates as soon as it appears. I am myself and love the person I am aside from the eating. I just need to put my 100% into fixing it, it's just a tedious process.
Thanks man I feel better about myself right now but it's for the wrong reasons.... It's all good though, I understand it's a process.
It's brave of you to admit! It will get easier. Eating disorders often work themselves out, over time you forget about what triggered it. It could take years but should resolve. Sending lots of positive energy your way. Try not to over stress about it, just live your life and do what feels natural! It could be worse, you could be an addict to horse!
Good luck! It will be a long process, but one that will be worth every ounce of effort you put in I've had eating disorders since I was around 8 years old so I can relate to how you feel, although everyone is different. One thing I've learnt is that perfection doesn't exist, you were born as perfect as can be, everybody and everything was. It is great that you've been able to find your trigger within just a few therapy sessions! Although our reasons are different, I'm always open to a PM if you ever feel like you need to talk about it, we are similar in age too
I know it'll take a while, I just hate the feeling of gaining control only to find I've lost it again. Thank you so much for the positive energy Glad I'm not an addict too, heh, well I'm a caffeine addict, but I'd like to think that doesn't count Wow, so young. I think I started at about 10, so not too far off. I know perfection doesn't exist, but it's something I've always striven for in my life in one form or another. Yeah, it's nice to recognize the root of the problem, but I can't say it has instantly made things better Thank you so much for the support I'll be sure to message you if I get too overwhelmed.
Accepting it as your current reality is definetly going to help alot. You see it as a reality and slowly move away from it towards bigger and better things. It wll be much easier that way.
Wow, your post reminded me how I my life used to be in charge of my eating disorder. I remember, how I tried to hide it from everyone, how I was ashamed of it. I only told it one single person and I had it for 7 years, and now I am normal eater for about 7 years as well, and I am still ashamed of it. But I never asked myself what really caused it. But now that you mention perfection, I am a kind of person who strives for it. And being a perfectionist is really hard, it is always more stress with everything. I wish you good luck and if I made you can, too. If you want to know more, just write me a message, I will share with you my experience. Good luck
Thank you for your insight I see it as my reality and a sad one at that. But I still continue my destructive behavior :/ Wow, that's amazing. Things have actually gotten MUCH worse with me. But it gives me hope to know that it's possible to come out of it. I'm changing my environment soon, so I'm hoping that will help. I'll be sending you a message Hehe, good Thanks, me too. It's just been with me for so long, it's hard to imagine not having it. But one day hopefully I'll overcome it. My dad is a binge eater, who exercises 2-4 times a day for an hour depending on his weight. My mom barely eats anything, in fear of gaining weight. And my dad is highly concerned with appearances. He's commented/insulted my mom on her weight before.
