I Hate Having Sex With My Long Time Partner!

When we first hooked up like 7 years ago, the sex was hot. I have never thought he was a hot guy but he is a very cool guy. I hold him in a high regard but the little sexual attraction that felt for him in the beginning is long gone. I find myself these days avoiding sexual situations, even staying up late to "finish that movie" when I know he is still awake in bed. I did not start feeling like this over night. Over the years I have experienced a myriad of sexual problems with this man. The first one was the my libido has always been stronger than his. He wasn't able to keep up which was frustrating after our "honeymoon phase" was over. After long periods of disappointments when he wasn't in the mood to have sex everyday, eventually my urges began to wain. Then he rapidly put on a bunch of weight in 2011. Then he started with the sleep apnea. I also have a huge problem with his personal hygiene. During the day he wears a bandanna on his head. He started wearing one to protect his hair from all the sawdust in the shop but it was just too convenient not to wash his hair since who is going to see it anyways. On the rare occation that we do have sex he crawls on top of me and I have to look at that greasy matted up mess. I don't know how well he is washing when he does actually shower because I have gone down on him right after a shower and there is still a sickeningly pungent aroma radiating from his genitals. On top of that I have tried to encourage him to brush his teeth twice a day and floss from time to time and get regular dental visits but to no avail. Sometimes when we are having sex I avoid his face so I don't have to smell his breath. Besides all of the hygiene issues, I hate his technique. He always wants me to suck his dick for extended periods of time. He tires incredibly fast and wants me to do most of the work. Then I'll get on top and I have to look at him from that angle and I get turned off. I frequently try to picture myself in a different sinerio where it is okay to look the way he does (some far away land a long time ago). This is all very distracting. I can never get lost in the moment or in the heat of passion (because there isn't any) and have a great orgasm.
Every sexual experience I have with him is a disappointment. I avoid sex with him because I know how it is going to turn out. I would say that once or twice a year we have a session of good sex, not great, but not disappointing. Every once in a while I think I am getting close to orgasm but then something happens and I loose it. I just want to get these feelings out because I can't tell my partner how I feel. I love him and I don't want to humiliate him. One thing that provides me with some level of comfort is that I have become an excellent masterbator. I've been dissatisfied with my sex life for years but I only just recently admitted to myself that I hate having sex with my partner.

 

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