BTW I got my little kitty's ashes in the mail today. That is so sad. I don't even think I'll open the box to look at it, ever. What a sad thing to happen now. I guess I wanted them back, but like I said I don't want to ever look at them. She was such an imporant part of my life for many years now.
Well, give yourself time, it's not an easy thing to do and you have a good reason to grieve over it. When you get to the point of some clarity, think of something reverent to do with her. A special place. A special spot on a shelf - just something to remember her by.... We have a special spot out in the woods with most of a lifetime of pets. I made each a stone, carved their name in it as a marker. How fast the forest takes over....I have the same conversation every time...'I will see you all when I get there - meet me right at the gate '... Maybe it's time to think about getting another pet. I struggled with that before, thinking it would make me forget or seem like I wanted the grief to just go away, then I thought - having another is a testament to the first. I never should have waited.