I Fucked Up Our Trip To The Fetish Night

Last Friday my SO and went to a fetish night at a swingers club . We both had really built up this night ,it was supposed to be the time of our lives . We got there and settled in. The night started off slow I guess,we didn't have any kind of plan to play with anyone.we agreed to check in with each other but I let that go by the wayside as the night progressed . More people showed up and started getting a lot of attention from other girls,which never happens.

The first hard limit I broke was letting one of them kiss me on the lips .

Secondly I let the same person ,I guess "fight me for dominance" I asked my SO if I could go over and give the girl at club a few whacks . The girl ; who is a domme, whacked back . I didn't expect the reaction I experienced and let myself get caught in the moment . That lasted about 45 mins as I was told. At this point of the night I was drunk too many beers , my SO kept telling me to slow it down but I didn't listen like an asshole. When my SO asked to leave I didn't listen . When I asked them to go to a room and she told me she wasn't quite ready for that ,I didn't listen . My SO reluctantly agreed to back to the room I fucked it up again and didn't give her the attention she deserved.

I'm probably leaving some things out ,but bottom line is I let my drunk ass get carried away and didn't rearguard her feelings .I fucked up and completely broken my SO's trust in me to follow the rules we set for ourselves . She is so hurt and I feel there's nothing I can do to fix it . I love her more that anything and don't understand how I could just arbitrarily disregard her felling by getting carried away .

Someone help with some advice. She's hurting, I'm hurting and I'm responsible

 

all hope is lost
you have irrevocably fucked -up your life forever now
there is no hope for you, you should take a vow of celibacy and NEVER think of sex again







seriously, your fucked.....

 

Come on , I'm serious man.