I think we've all seen, in the juice section, those really expensive juices in the small bottles. The juices we all talk about "Wow, sounds tasty, I wanna try it". But, with a shudder, the pricetag is read, and the bottle is set back down. From there, usually, I proceed to the other end of the cooler, where they sell the gallons of cheap Great Value orange juice for $1.19. But one day, I lived richly. I picked up that bottle and started carrying it with a few other things I had planned to buy. But in a moment of fierce rejection for capitalism and wal-mart, I walked to the sporting goods section, a huge camera blindspot, and ripped off the label. From there though, I had no idea what to do, and had even less of an idea as to what I mightve been getting myself into. Suddenly I was struck with an uncanny, resourceful idea. I gave myself a huge wedgie. Walked around a bit, so as to not look suspicious, and stuck that bottle right into the zone. Thats right, THAT zone. It was cold, but all so satisfying. Im a pretty skinny guy, so I managed to look pretty natrual with a 16 ounce conatiner of organic juice stuck in with my package. I looked slightly aroused at best. From there, I walked out, plain and simple. Adjusting my crotch a bit, but looking very pedestrian. I walked up to where the security scanners are, and passed through without stopping. When the alarm did not go off, I let out a sigh of relief. From there, I couldnt find my grandmas car, so I walked across the parking lot, to Michaels craft store, and sat out in the back next to the dumpster. I sat down on the ground and leaned up against a support beam, not yet feeling a surge of victory from my loot. I cracked that bottle open, and took the first swig. It was the creamiest, most delicious beverage I had ever tasted. My eyes lit up as the godly orange fluid danced down my throat. And I got it for free.
