I feel like i should just give up on life... seriously

Hey all, i just wanted to share my situation with yall and get some feedback on it and your thoughts about what im going through.

So about 2 weeks ago my mom had told me that she was looking at some rehab centers to potentially put me in. and while i wasnt fully against this idea, i completely believe that it isnt neccessary. but anyways i would have to say that just this past few months i have been addicted to heroin. more specific cheese heroin. which is the combination of black tar and diphenhydramine(found in sleep aids). i know that alot of you think that this creation of a drug involving is stupid and dumb, i just dont think i could ever stick a needle in me, so it would be cool if the bashing could be saved till the end Possibly? Anyways, i strongly believe that my usage of this is not nearly as bad as my parents make it out to be, im a functional addict, yes i dont remember alot of my last high school years from using drugs and i got introuble alot but still managed to graduate, infact i am an early graduate, i have a job and just in general get the things done that need to be, regardless of my heavy use. Hell my parents never know when i do use and literally only do if i leave trails of me using(i.e. straws, dirty tissues, little baggies) or if i just simply admit to it. So whn i was evaluated by the doctor he believed that i didnt need to be in a residential housing for 30 days or even be in a detox for only 3-5 days and put me instead in IOP(Intensive Outpatient Program) where i would have to go every weekday from 4 to 7 and where i would be drug tested about 2 times a week. anyways since i have been in this program i have been tested 4 or 5 times and have failed every one of them. i get tested today when i go to class later today and if i fail which im going to then come tuesday when the results come in and he sees them he will most likely send me into residential for the 30 days and will have to be in the IOP program again when i get out. i have my graduation ceremony this coming weekend and my grandma will be in town aswell. if i get put into residential before the weekend it will be a huge dissapointment and embarrassment for my parents to go through. so i have came up with a few options. I would talk to my parents and offer a deal to them that i would let them put me into residential after this week to be able to attend the ceremony for graduation and save them the humiliation, with my other relatives. my other thought is that since they had put me into the program the following day was my 18th birthday, so i was thinking, would i be able to take myself out of this since im a legal adult now? and if so then if i was to choose that option then the only problem with that is the outcome would mean that i would no longer be allowed to stay with my parents most likely and be out on my own with no place to stay and have to support myself. my last option is that i would buy some kind of detox drink and/or anything else to help me pass the drug test and from then on just believe in myself to be clean for the remainder of the program which is suppose to be until July 8 which is not extremely far away. and if i was to choose this option, do you guys believe it will be a success if i do buy a detox and anything else to help along with, if i have used multiple drugs the day before?(Meth, heroin, and bud). Thanks for any and all the advice and reponses given. i really appreciate it.

 

i realize this is pretty long and most wont even bother to begin haha so i understand if i dont even get a single response. thats my fault...

 

I think legally you would be able to withdraw yourself from the program. Then again I think once you do give up on it your parents probably would be really upset and you would become a burden, you should look into having your own place if you're going to continue this lifestyle.
Do you really think you shouldnt go to rehab?I mean accomplishments aside, are you really the one choosing to do heroin or is the drug choosing for you now.
Do you have any dreams, wants, that are at jeoperdy by doing this drug? Does it control you?
You can choose to go to rehab, get off of heroin. And continue to live a sober life.
Or you can continue doing heroin and being an addict.

Either way it's your choice.
I'm doing heroin in less then 3 weeks well knowing where it might lead in search of the perfect high.
No judgement from me.
Just do what you want. It's your life sweetie, just keep in mind an addict doesn't have a long life. But atleast you'll have a good idea of how it will all end.

 

You are a moron.

As for your whole. "I'm 18 and an adult"...

Adults don't live at home sponging off their parents, endangering their (your parents) home with their drug habits.

That is what irresponsible fuck ups do.

 

Yes i know it would greatly disappoint my parents if i decided to withdraw myself from the program. and thats what my parents always say to me, that if i am going to do this then it is not going to be in their household, in other words i would have to find somewhere else to stay and such. and i didnt mean to make my accomplishments in school and having a job a crutch and reason to continue using, but its complicated how my mind is treating all this. i wasnt completely against the thought of possibly going to rehab when it was brought, infact i have discussed with other friends about wanting to stop and quit using and everytime it just ends up bringing me to tears. i know i have a problem, and i will admit that, but then its like im being completely honest and lying to myself at the same time if that is comprehendable? i know the right thing is to be put into a residential but i guess being young and ignorant to the long term i just want to continue using and that im just not ready to stop leaving this lifestyle. and i know this may sound very odd and extremely ignorant, but at the same time i kind of blame my parents for my usage and my thoughts. my dad is also a substance abuser, he use to smoke weed all the time back when i was in elementary, then stoped doing that due to employment drug screens, but started to use cocaine on the weekends as well as drink beer(always has even before) but just recently the past 3 years his drinking has moderatly increased. he drinks everyday. literally, when he gets home he always has beer that he just bought. and for my mom, i cant blame her for nothing i wouldnt be able to get through life now and then if it wasnt for her, i owe everything in the world to her. But i just dont think that my parents are doing there part in this recovery/rehabilitation process as they should be. but i dont think i can fully blame them for any of my problems.

 

You can't fully blame them for any of your problems?

You thought saying this would change anything? All it does is re-enforce what a fucking moron you are...

Grow the fuck up!

 

Quit making excuses for yourself, its all on you. Go to rehab and clean yourself up. Or go be homeless and enjoy the rest of your short life as a junkie, its your choice.

 

You need to realise that being addicted to heroin isn't just a cold turkey leap into sobriety. Its a physical and mental addiction. She's young, and wild and wants to have fun. Personally i'd probably tell her to do something else, wean herself off of opiates, try the program to humour her parents and family and ultimately maybe she'll learn something there that's just me....the whole 'grow the fuck up!' approach rarely works and essentially just makes you look like an ass.

Asshole aside, I think you should give the program a shot unless you have the means to start living on your own. If you're going to continue this habbit despite your loved ones attempts to get you to stop you're going to have to do the unselfish thing and distance yourself. I'd also like to add that any substance abuse problems your father had is a really poor excuse to start doing heroin.

I just think people have their reasons to do it, but blaming someone else for something you started for whatever reason is childish. Alot of people come home after a hard days work and crack open a beer. Alot of people have tried substances for recreational purposes.

Heroin is an entire different ball game, you yourself know this.
Do what feels right.

 

Wild-flowers... you don't want me to speak my mind with regards to you, I suggest you refrain from trying to offer me any type of advice, suggestion or other reason to change my mind about that...

As for your bullshit post here... It doesn't matter if you are talking about heroin or pine sap... The ONLY person responsible in ANY way shape or form for it, or who 'has a part' in the rehab process, is the ADDICT... not the adddicts parents, not their friends, not the man in the moon or even 'god'...

 

I don't really give a shit what you have to say about me. I'm right. You were being an insensitive asshole to this girl. It wasn't a personal attack on you and who you are as a person, just who you were in that moment.

 

Listen you fucked up little girl... go shoot your heroin while living on the street pregnant while you try to pick up anything that will fuck you in every hole while writing your best-selling novel about the hardships of life...

You have zero fucking clue what real life is about, you are the absolute last person who should be offering advice on anything at all.

The fact that you sympathize with this poster because I told them the same thing I told you, doesn't change the fact that you both need to take one simple piece of advice...

GROW THE FUCK UP

 

One Simple Question, WHY.??..



Cheers Glen.

 

I'm not pregnant. I wouldn't consider doing it if I was.
I did have a pregnancy scare at one point, I think that's quite common actually. I wouldn't be surprised if that sort of thing happened to someone you were with shit happens.
I ended up playing guitar with homeless people instead. It was quite the experience. I got to know some interesting people. Without compromising my health.

I suppose you are new age buddha correct? With your poor attempt at communal living. Tell me is it lonely up there on your pedestal? In time I will grow the fuck up....sure. I probably wont pick apart someones personal life in an attempt to embarass someone though. You really are only proving my point. So i'm sitting here laughing.

Why don't you, go fuck yourself.

 

chronic tom, you're getting pwned...

 

That wasnt an attempt to embarrass you.

That was a very simple straight forward piece of advice.

One that you desperately need to take to heart.

Oh, as for my poor attempt at a commune... It was never meant to be a commune, but to understand that, you would need to have more brains then a dead house plant... so I wouldn't let the difference worry you.

Beyond that though, I live here, on MY property, with my life partner, living life exactly how I wish to. Why am I not surprised that you would consider this a poor attempt....

 

I'm a little surprised you would consider heroin for a personal high, I mean is it really worth it? If it is indeed that good, then you will do it more and become and addict. The OP's lifestyle sounds pretty horrendous

Tom is being blunt, rude, but blunt

I don't think he is wrong about anything, I just think the guy likes to call it as it is- and sometimes that means being a little harsh!

I hate heroin. So my advice to the OP is to join the 30 day program, graduate and get your life back together. Do not leave it up to detox drinks, because if it did work once you will constantly assure yourself it will again and obviously will still be jacking up ther after.

Good luck!! I do believe taking heroin is moronic, but I don't feel being stuck on it is, realising you have a problem is the first indication of a person willing to put there life back on track.

 

If you think so....

 

Never asked for your advice, or your opinion.
Wanting to be homeless for a social experiment maybe not so wise so I didn't. (came to terms with that on my own)
Pregnancy thing, was just a low blow ...don't see how that was advice. More like judgement
I had sex and the condom broke hardly my fucking fault. Luckily that didnt result in a pregnancy.
The book thing, well I will right a book. I'm taking journalism in the fall.

So you live on your own land and are in a steady relationship. For that congradulations. You do want you want and you seem happy.

I'll do what I want and be happy, and it is not your buisness to tell me how I should live my life. This isnt a thread made by me asking you for your pseudo-intellectual bullshit advice dr.phil.
All I did was give her my honest advice, (that she asked for) and pointed out (in a blunt way ) that you were being inane.

 

.......:iagree:



Cheers Glen.