I Fear I'll Always Be Alone

There's times where I fear that I'll always be alone and that I'll never find love. I'm 33 years old and a lot of my friends are married or have a serious boyfriend. I've had serious boyfriends and some of them lasted for two years and one of them lasted for about five years and then he ended up leaving me for somebody else. The whole time he was cheating on me behind my back and I knew about it. I ended up finding "girls panties" in his bedroom and he tried to tell me that they were mine. Though I knew he was lying to me. In the end he left me for her. Than he came back to me a year later because it didn't work out with her. I hate being somebody's second choice. :wall:

I'm a very loyal lover and I don't demand men to call me and I'm not controlling. Maybe I'm simply not thinking straight right now and thinking negative on this whole situation. A lot of my friends tell me that I deserve to be loved and that one day I'll find someone who will love me and adore me. Anytime they say this to me though, I just have a false hope of this ever happening to me and I'm not sure why.

Once a guy once gave me a lot of false hope making me think he loved me and then he stopped seeing me which made me sad in the end. All I ever wanted was love and I've only have sex with men that I'm in a relationship with. I've never felt comfortable with sleeping around or having a one night stand. I'm a introvert, very shy and a quiet person by nature. This could be why I'm having relationship issues and with not being able to find anyone. Maybe I should work on my self esteem or something. I'm not very sure. I just know that when I do find someone who will love me that I'll do everything to make them happy and hopefully they'll do the same for me.

As of right now though, I fear that I'll always be alone. :unsure:

 

Learning to overcome the fear of being alone might be a good step forward.

You might want to spend some time working on yourself and learning how to screen out bad lovers.

If you feel ok being by yourself, a relationship is something that you can then add to your life. If you need to be in a relationship, that may cause problems.

 

Never be somebodys second choice. I am an introvert for the most part as well. If you are at least somewhat normal you can find someone. Wether it be at work, school etc...
Exposure therapy can help with the self esteem stuff.. You sound like a nice person, something will work out for you. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will.

 

One day you might see all this in the rear view mirror. One day you might even see all this completely reversed. Thick skin is hard to cut. One day you might even tell a possible suitor "don't break yourself on a heart of stone".

 

You should never settle for being 2nd best in any relationship. Everyone deserves happiness and that includes you.

I've always found that love comes when you least expect it and I don't think you can go looking for love I think it finds you when all the planets are aligned.

Just keep being true to yourself and one day it'll happen. I didn't meet my current wife until I was 40yrs old so you have plenty of time left.

You sound a lovely person who is very loyal when in a relationship and ultimately that's what most of us guys are looking for.

Keep the faith and PM me of you want to chat.

 

Seconded. Taking notice of all those relationships of people that seem at first (even ) worse off than me where it comes to finding a good partner always makes me realize it is for a large part a perspective thing when I look at times at things the same way as you (OP). I feel to shy? I realize I see people that are more 'socially handicapped' in every way in happy and functioning relationships. I feel unworthy because most people would like something that I have not? Look at all those other people who also appear to don't have 'it', yet they are happy with a partner. Normal is also a very relative thing

 

Why does anyone "deserve" to be loved?

 

Avoid the Chads.

Chads usually appear like they're the perfect choice to a girl, they're not. At least not longterm-wise.

 

What's A "Chad"..????..........And No I Refuse To Google It.......



Cheers Glen.

 

I think it is mostly a manner of speaking. Like 'you're not such an asshole that you're unworthy of love', as some people may get so often disappointed in the love department (while craving it a lot) that others really think (and so will say) 'well, you definitely deserve to have a worthy lover' No biggie, unless taken real literally Then we could get in a philosophical mood about the laws of nature and how nobody deserves anything by definition

 

Chad ThunderCock

 

^^^....Thank You......



Cheers Glen.

 

Last sentence was what I was getting at

No one deserves anything

Nothings really worth it unless you work for it anyhow

 

Like I said I don't think it was ment to be taken literally.

It's the same when people say with all their good intent that there is a universal law that we all have the right to this or that and that we should give people equal chances. But if I look objectively (I am all for creating equal chances in a society btw) I can't deny that one of the few universal laws that rings true is the right of the strongest. So I don't really like that argument of universal laws about certain rights. They are artificial constructs. But I'm not blatantly against what they're supposed to do (can depend on the details as always ) just because I can ackowledge there's mostly chaos and nature's law is kill or be killed
We may be getting slightly off topic...

 

Sometimes I like the idea of being alone... forever.

 

Thank you for all you're replies on my thread. They gave me a lot of insight on the situation.

 

Me too. Suits me like more than half of the time. Happily there are diferent kinds of relationships. Like LAT for example.

 

I dont really think it is possible to have a healthy relationship with someone unless you can be happy being alone. Because otherwise you're just going to fall into codependency.

Plus if you dont really know and like yourself as a whole person apart from another person it makes it more difficult to recognize the person who is actually good enough for you and well suited to you

 

I'm pretty happy being on my own. I long for my companion in life but at times I'm like... just, I gotta get out on my own. I always been my own best friend always grew up thinking I'm the lesser of my 3 other sisters in my mothers eyes, I learned to be happy on my own. I had my own imaginary friends and fantasy, my whole life is still fantasy lands but nevertheless, I've always been my best friend. I thoroughly enjoy my own company. I'm the funnest, funniest person I've ever known.

 

LOL, Irm...Me, too...I love hanging out with myself and being alone.....I am so much fun and surprise myself all of the time.....
I can sit down and create....write, paint....
My animals love me.
People I have met love me. What else do I need?.....lol