i don't want to be Bi

Discussion in 'Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, etc.' started by ChinaCatSunflower02, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. ChinaCatSunflower02

    ChinaCatSunflower02 Senior Member

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    i don't know what it is, but i just don't want it to happen. it disturbs me. i love women so much. but i could just see it happening, since i have to be so open-minded these days, that i will be open enough to experiment with men. i know i should be proud about it, but i'm not. this is just one thing that i find extremely difficult to come to terms with.

    It's like these days i'm on the "hunt" to lose my V-card/get in a relationship with a girl, but simultaneously all these symbols are coming up implying that the gay life is going to enter my life.

    Honestly, it's like i'm going to have the best of both worlds, and the gay side would only add to my life experiences. but i'm just afraid. afraid that somehow it's going to completely reverse on me and i'm going to turn out all out gay and not even give a shit about girls anymore.

    I feel like existence is shoving me towards the end of a cliff and the only thing i can possibly do is abide while throwing a fit all the way there. and once i give in i won't regret it blah blah blah.

    I'm so in love with women yet this gay shit is just intruding on my life and i feel like i'm going to end up being Bi. i just find it to be bullshit and i'm quite bitter about it.

    not sure what i'm asking from anyone, i'm just venting my thoughts and feelings.

    It's just difficult man.

    Like, i'd be down to do this shit if i knew for certain that it won't take over my precious sexual love of females. I know there's some space around all of this but i just feel very clostrophobic right now about all of it.

    And there's the fear that fuck, what if i end up messing around with a guy FIRST??? it's like jesus i've always identified as being straight and now i feel like all these gay guys are coming on to me....It's like FUUUUCK leave me alone atleast give me a chance to get some real experience with females first. Jesus.

    Cut me a fucking break, Existence, you're pissing me off. Give me some fucking room.
     
  2. TheMadcapSyd

    TheMadcapSyd Titanic's captain, yo!

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    What gay shit? Just because you find men attractive doesn't mean you have to jump into bed with them
     
  3. ChinaCatSunflower02

    ChinaCatSunflower02 Senior Member

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    good, cause i feel differently. many times i feel not in charge of my life. and like i'm just allowing existence to unfold one thing after the other, and i always embrace it. it's always been a good thing i'd say. deep lessons have been learned.

    The latest doorway that life seems to be trying to show me is "gayness"
     
  4. TheMadcapSyd

    TheMadcapSyd Titanic's captain, yo!

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    Well if you're full out gay then avoiding men would probably lead to a pretty lonely life. Though if you're bi, who cares, if you're around a hot guy and somehow the option to get between the sheets comes up, why not go for it. Suck a dick, if you like giving pleasure to people you'll probably enjoy doing it.
     
  5. KewlDewd66

    KewlDewd66 Member

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    Read your original post, and seek some professional help ASAP.

    i don't know what it is, but i just don't want it to happen. it disturbs me. i love women so much. but i could just see it happening, since i have to be so open-minded these days, that i will be open enough to experiment with men.

    You must be gravely self-delusional to believe in your own words, here? So, you'll let another guy stuff his dick into your mouth not because you really want it but because you are 'open-minded these days'??? Dude, you need a reality check here. And you need it now.

    The only reason why you are going to have sex with other men is because they turn you on, and you do find them attractive and sexually desirable. Since you are above the age of 10, accept this fact of life, and move on.

    KD
     
  6. max1144

    max1144 Member

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    Please, at 20 and still a virgin. It is something more that sexual conflict going on. Do get some help before I have to read about your in the national press.

    Repressing feelings only makes them grow stronger and take some pretty evil turns.

    Max
     
  7. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    It sounds to me like you are either gay, or bisexual. Repressing your feelings won't make them go away, it will just lead you to being very unhappy, and having depression. You have to be with guys because you "have to be so open minded these days"? Please...so all straight guys should just start sleeping with men even though they aren't attracted to them, just because we're so open minded?! No, you'd sleep with guys only if you were attracted to them, and that's just a fact you need to face up to. If you want to sleep with men, or fantasise about doing so, then you're attracted to men. It has nada to do with being open minded...

    What's wrong with still being a virgin at 20? I'm a lot older than that, and I'm still a virgin.
     
  8. *kushbaby*

    *kushbaby* Member

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    well i think it was unnecessary of others to be rude about it. but i think you just need to come to terms with what you're thinking. it's good to let it out. and you don't HAVE to be open minded. i mean i experimented with other girls once.... i like girls they're fun and soft and know what other girls like. and what feels good. but i'm not going to get into a relationship with another girl i prefer guys.

    so what if you tried this or that with some guy because you were curious. or say you have sex with a girl... woot go you.... but if it isn't every bit as amazing as you wished it was then maybe you are gay. or bi or whatever you want to call yourself.

    best of luck my friend
    kush
     
  9. LorettaYoungSilks

    LorettaYoungSilks Member

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    Sounds like simple speculation. Stupidly, you never expressed any sexual or emotional feelings for men, but reckon you will have sex with one. I'm open minded but won't be having sex with girls, so why would you be any different to me?

    Nothing wrong with being gay, but I don't think you are. I think you should try sex full stop, and then heck, maybe I will be wrong about this.

    You can't just say you think you'll end up life, because of life's sodding luck. If you do with that aspect of your life, you could with any. Could arguably be a simple case of HOCD.
     
  10. ChinaCatSunflower02

    ChinaCatSunflower02 Senior Member

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    i'm actually only 19.

    I don't want to sleep with men, and i do not fantasize about doing so.

    But i could just see it happening someday. i don't know how else to explain it.

    it could be HOCD?

    It could also just be something called Bicuriosity. I'm curious about a lot of things, and i enjoy delving into them to explore the options. Except for this one.
     
  11. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

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    If you aren't attracted to men, then you're not gay or bi. Seeing as that is the case, I don't get why you can still see yourself sleeping with a guy at some point....

    What's HOCD?
     
  12. Shale

    Shale ~

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    Dang, missed being a Scorpio by one day.

    I think you think too much. Just go with the flow and if it feels good do it.

    (Does that sound "Hippie" or what?) :cool:
     
  13. SithLocked Holmes

    SithLocked Holmes Member

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    There is a difference between being Bi and being hedonistic (that's not an insult, I'm a hedonistic) There's wanting sex or relationship with both men and women as a constant option or there's This Party is Crazy so Why Not Get In On some Sexy Fun.

    I'm guessing that when you talk about the bi thing likely to happen because of your open mind, the latter seems more your scenario.

    Shale's right. You're thinking too much.
     
  14. pochikuen

    pochikuen Banned

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    Watch out for rectal prolapse. It's a serious danger amongst homosexual activities.

    Dont you delete this yaraparo, its the truth.

    I JUST SAYIN THE TRUTH AND GIVIN FORE WARNING

    Putting things in the butt is not fool proof.
     
  15. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

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    Dont you delete this yaraparo, its the truth.

    Putting things in the butt is not fool proof.[/QUOTE]

    Pochie honey, you're the fool who was stickin the whole goddam bunch of bananas up yer ass...thats living proof that puttin things in your butt ain't fool proof.

    Now as far as deleting this, na, this ain't near as ignorant as some of the shit you've posted BUT... get this...If you keep babbling about the Homosexual agenda and bible based damnation and I'll ban yer ass in a flat second. Then you can stick that bible up yer ass and see if theres any salvation in it.

    As far as the OP is concerned, Shale and some others nailed it. Be who you are and lose the labels, they don't mean shit. Good luck.
     
  16. danielleinthesky

    danielleinthesky Member

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    i think im bi.. haha im a girl & i love love love me some guys but i LOVE lesbian porn and idk, chics just turn me on easier than dudes. but i could never have an actual relationship with a girl. it'd be purely physical.
     
  17. atla23

    atla23 Member

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    hmm i kinda feel you man. At this point i am not attracted to men at all but im not a homophobe in the least. For example i could easily participate in a threesome with another man, that would not bother me. All this makes me wonder if one day i would be open to more. At any rate i dont look down on people that do it.
     
  18. ChinaCatSunflower02

    ChinaCatSunflower02 Senior Member

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    that's pretty hot i'd have to say
     
  19. pochikuen

    pochikuen Banned

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    yara, I never said a single thing about any bible, religious or anything, ever.
     
  20. yarapario

    yarapario Village Elder

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    Pochie, I'm curious, how old are you really? I'm serious in askin' this. Can you send PM's yet? We should stop hijackin' Chinacats post.
     

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