But I could use some insight, if anyone has any, into where things are going with my friend "D" and I. I just feel so lost right now.... I've got a lot going on, and I need him. Anything at all would be of great appreciation.... Blessings, Sam
its_des10e, you see, and Bl4 feels it also...it's not always a rose-strewn path for us, dear. When the external world doesn't come to our rescue, the universe is signalling that it's time to go deeper into our own spiritual reserves. But there are lots of souls surrounding you.
I apologize for not responding earlier, and thank you both for your responses and time. You're right, there are lots of souls surrounding me- living and otherwise. Yes, there has been a feeling of detachment. See, here is the issue. I have problems with anxiety, depression, social anxiety, ptsd, and lately, flashbacks from abuse as a child. At the same time, my best friend, and the man I want to be with, disappeared. (He is bipolar, and he was also having an episode at the time.... or so he says.) When I fell apart, he was not there. I called and just had this bad feeling that he was with someone, another girl. And I let my imagination go wild on that one. Now, in hindsight, I don't know if I trust that original judgement because of my state of mind. He swears he hasn't been with anyone. He swears he's not seeing anyone. But he is still distant, and I am needy... I feel something is off with him now. And I don't know if it's just the trust issue for me, or what. (I dont trust men easily.) For anyone else, it's so much easier to see the "truth" behind the mess, but when you're in the mess yourself, it's just messed up. lol. I'm just so tired, and I can't stop obsessing over this. I don't know what's going on. I am going to pull out my deck of tarot cards later and read for this situation, but again, being close to it, it's hard to be objective. Right now, I am in the process of getting myself help. I am so tired of not feeling "normal" (as far as anxiety and depression, etc. go.).
This is exactly what you need, dear, and I hope it leads to more inner peace and freedom from these anxieties and obsessions. I feel for you, especially because I've experienced some of what you're going through, though to a much lesser degree. I would like to say, "Stop obsessing!" But it doesn't do a damn bit of good, I know--and I have a tendency to obsess too, which I've been slowly learning to reduce after banging my head into several walls. I'll say one thing, and I know it won't give you any immediate relief, but maybe it will seep into your mind over time and bear a bit of fruit: The guy you're obsessing about isn't what you need. I'll repeat what I said in my previous post, cuz I just want to make sure you don't miss this: When the external world doesn't come to our rescue, the universe is signalling that it's time to go deeper into our own spiritual reserves. This is more easily said than done, and it takes a long time to make progress. But hang on, ask your spirits for help, and they'll bring you the life situations you need to become more whole--I know only too well what this entails, so my heart goes out to you, and I'll pray to my spirits for you as well.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear all that. I did tell the guy yesterday that we needed to go our seperate ways for awhile (or maybe for good) because I couldn't focus on me with him in my life. I'm so tired of being "sick". One more time with these cycles, and I may not make it. So I need to stop it. I have been talking more and more to the spirits that surround me, calling on my spirit guides, and talking to my mother (who's been gone over four years), and it has helped. I'll continue to do this. Thanks again. I'm feeling better today than I have been. Blessings and Love, Sam PS: I'm also learning about how to curb the obsessions.... it's really hard, as it is something I've grown so accustomed to. But I've slacked off of it a good bit since I was a teenager, so I'm proud of that progress.
I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better. There are lots of ups and downs, I know...and Sam, it took real strength and courage to break it off with your guy--you do have a lot of self-awareness on your side, also--it really seems like you're on the right track and making good progress. Hang in there. Hugs, Richard
Feeling stronger everyday. The ups and downs are difficult, but I'm coping. I keep reminding myself tomorrow is a new day, with new opportunities, and I need to go one step at a time. Thanks again, Richard. Blessings and Love, Sam PS: My intuition was dead on. He is with another girl now. I had to find out through a myspace page. But it's okay. I'm better off knowing.
Let's see, that adds up to ummm 5 points for your intuition, plus 10 more for having the good sense to lose a guy who didn't have the courage to be up front with you. You know, it looks to me like you're a stronger person than he is. That should be worth another 5 points...
Plus all the points I don't know about...des10e, please see my post to you on the "paper project" thread.
