i dont understand

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by princess17, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. princess17

    princess17 Member

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and for some reason when we have sex i have absolutly no feeling its kinda like im numb. The only way i have ever came with him is during oral. do u have any suggestions on what i can do to make my sex life better?
  2. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    I'm starting to have the same problem. I think its the time that's gone by. Sex isn't new and exciting anymore. You don't get the shivers like you did when you first starting having sex. my boyfriend and I have started to incorporate role play and porn. I only come during oral mostly because all the attention is on ME! I like that. So we started playing roles where I was in charge. I would try to mix things up, like get a tape or DVD that teaches you how to strip or something crazy. Go to a strip club together. Theres also places online that give you sex game suggestions. All I can say is to try something you wouldn't ordinarily want to do. That makes it more fun and exciting because it's new.

    That works for me anyway. I've been with my man 2 1/2 years so I think I know where you're coming from.
  3. Crimson

    Crimson Member

    also how often do you have sex... if its a lot then ya it will lose some fun for you.. why dont you and your bf wait for something like a few weeks and let the tension build up.. try only making out or things like that for the two weeks but dont let it go any further build up the sexual tension and then the one night after that period of time let it all go.. that should be exciting for both of you
  4. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    that's a good idea too.

    I might have to try that. 2 weeks though? we've never gone longer than 2 days! Princess, why don't you try that first and tell me how it goes!
  5. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I've found that when the goodness of the sex diminishes the relationship does too. If a guy doesn't try I get totally turned off and end up no longer caring or being attracted to them. Is he trying hard enough in other aspects of your relationship? Has he done something to numb you emotionaly towards him? If so I would work on your relationship and the sex will come naturaly.
  6. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    I have to disagree there. my man and I have been on the rocks for a while but we've been doing MUCH better. (still no fights!)

    but the sex still hasn't changed. I love him to death but a lot i find myself just laying there thinking "just get it over with already" I want to please him and be pleased, but the spark that was there when it was new is gone.

    We've been working really hard on our relationship and succeeding but the urge to have sex hasn't come with it.
  7. JayJ

    JayJ Member

    Personally, I think, all you have to do is to spice up your sex life a little bit. Throw a few kinks in if you want. No, I'm not telling you to put on a dominatrix suit and crack a whip at him hahaha...but just some light things that both of you enjoy, etc etc. Whatever you think might be fun to try out ;)
  8. princess17

    princess17 Member

    well we have been having alot of probolems latley. our relationship is just not the way it use to be so i think im going to just not do it for a while and see if that helps. but no way am i going 2 weeks thats a loooonng time i will let u know how that goes heady. and no we dont have sex alot maybe once a week!! but when we first got together we would do it like 5 or 6 times a day and that was better i dont know maybe its just me.
  9. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    I don't really think that love=orgasm, but hey, that's just me...

    if you really mean numb (not just as exciting as before, but actually lacking in sensation) you may want to talk to your doctor or your gynecologist. Particularly if you used to have considerably more sensation than you currently do.

    If you just mean it's not as exciting as what once it was, follow others suggestions - experiment in bed! The same ol thing over and over gets less exciting with time.
  10. xanexehsx

    xanexehsx Member

    I believe that how much you love the person or how much the person loves you has alot to do with it.
  11. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    i think love matters more to the girl then the guy... sexually
  12. PureInnocence

    PureInnocence Member

    hmm, headymoe, you just described exactly what me and my bf are going through. We love each other so much, in fact, I love him more than ever, but the sexual agression just isn't there like it used to be! We've been together just about 2 and a half years now and we had some pretty rocky times. I thought it was me, (i have issues, but then again, who doesn't) but maybe it's that we need some more spice. I am a spicy girl. I just don't get wet anymore. I can WANT sex SO bad, but my body just doesn't react. I can't stand it.
  13. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    yeah, my mind is there but the tingly happy exciting feeling isn't.

    We're trying all sorts of things. The porn and role playiing has helped but not all the time. WE're going to a strip club soon. I hope that helps too.

    Now that he's working he's a lot more tired also so it's not just me rejecting sex. I think in time you can't have sex all day everyday. Take a few days in between. I haven't had sex in 2 and I'm pretty revved up right now. I hope it lasts through tonight when we get home!

    I'll try different stuff and let you guys know!

    ooh! 1 more thing- excersing together helps. Afterwards I feel so fit and sexy!
  14. PureInnocence

    PureInnocence Member

    That could also be it. I'm trying very hard to work my body and get rid of the extra chubb. (I'm not fat at all, I just have a very soft belly, and it really is a turn off for me) Maybe I don't turn MYSELF on enough. My bf and I made a sex video of ourselves once, and boy did I freak out. I looked TERRIBLE!!! I was so shocked.

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