Ok, I find it rather hard to talk about. Very hard to talk about. I feel as though I'm slowing phasing out of reality sometimes. The world around me seems fragmented and confusing... as if I'm going to stop existing in a few seconds and I'll be in black space. Other times, I get this fear that I'll just be transported straight to hell or outer space or something, and there's no way I can get away form whatever's following me... and... I don't know. It's hard to describe... It's only started in the past week or so. I don't know. I used to have it.... a lot more. Then they went away and all of a sudden they just start fading away... then they come back... plus I haven't eaten since yesterday. I don't even feel it... I don't even feel like it... and I'm just... out of it... not physically, but mentally, or... both... shit... I mean, I have homework... but I just can't even think... and today when I was on the bus home I just kind of woke into a frantic and someone I know said that I wasn't even responding but I wasn't noticing it... It's just like... the list is endless... it almost sounds unbelievable...
and I can't even write about it... I was on page 16 of a story I was writing... and... it's like my thought is gone... I've just been sitting here thinking of everything. I mean, thoughts that just aren't really.. normal.
hmmm... I'll try and help you talk about it if you want, I've had similar things happen to me on occasion. So how would you describe this, like a depression, do you feel disconnected? Are you in fear? More importantly, do you know for sure what you are in fear of? That's where I find troubles a lot. Do you just seem to feel like you are somewhere else sometimes? like, things are going on around you, but you aren't part of it, more like watching it? Hmmm, am I coming close to it? I know sometimes feelings like that can be so hard to describe.
I don't know... I had it in the past... then it faded... and then... there was about a couple months in there where it was kind of gone... It does that and I don't know what the hell it is.. wether its stress... pressure... chemical balance or a metaphorical "electrical short" in my nerves... I mean... it's just insane... and I'm also getting a feeling like I just want to do nothing for my entire life... I mean, not like a bum kind of way... but like I could stay in my room and stare at the walls for all eternity. Aside from that, I just can't help it... and I'm out of tylenol.. advil...aspirin... It gets increasingly worse as I get older also... I wonder what it would be like if my cortex was destroyed... wonder what its like to be a vegetable...
It sounds like you might be suffering from anxiety attacks. Are you under a lot of stress right now? Or are you so bored that it's making you anxious?
I'm not bored... I have lots of things to do... I need to do homework.. but It's like I just can't... to top it off, allergies as well...
I'm a vegan... I should know. And, I'm working on the animal issue... but I really... I don't know. I really don't know what the hell it is... I found some tylenol... I should feel a bit better...
Well alright... I know how awful it is to say (especailly from me) but it's true - It could just be that you are a teenager. Welcome to the happy place. Get the work over with, get some sleep, and let's hope tomorrow feels better for you.
I hope ya feel better soon, don't really have much to say then what I've already said on msngr.... I'll see you at the crossroads:X
The last time this happened was at least three months ago, before that, I was ten when it happened before.
What I read just scared the shit out of me... please don't tell me I'm a schizoid... no nonono... it lists lack of vitamin D and sunlight deficiency as a baby for a cause... I had liver and skin problems when I was younger because of that and it didn't stop until we moved to Virginia as most of the time in Alaska I had never been outside...
hey man i can really relate to your situation, hear me out. a couple weeks ago out of nowhere i got hit really badly with this extreme sense of unreality. i lifted my head up from my desk and i had no idea how i had gotten home and what was going on and had really bad mood swings (i wasnt on drugs or hadnt recently done them) and i felt really wierd and tired and i was hyperventillating. it would happen often, i would feel like i either was the only one that existed or the only one that didnt, like i was doomed and i would wake up one day and everything around me would be so different and i would be confused as to what happened. i had constant headaches, constantly tired, and constantly freaking out and getting really paranoid over nothing. then i figured out what the hell was wrong with me, they're called panic attacks and they can definitely cause depersonalization and derealization. its scary as hell. what u need to do is get a counselor or go to one u might already have and talk through this. she might give u an antianxiety medication and that could help you out alot. and these attacks are really random, i have mine when im totally chill. dont worry, the feelings will go away if u work thorugh ur anxiety or get meds. i might be wrong here, but its something to look into because ur feelings sound very similar to my own. and dont worry, ur not schizophrenic or crazy...what u described is reallly normal for panic attack sufferers. i hope this has been some help! good luck peace audrey
