i dont know what im doing with my life

i move out of my parents house next week. which is nice, but that means i have to pay bills now and i cant lose my job that i hate working at. i have to stay in this town that i cant stand with people i cant stand. my friends are assholes and they do nothing but piss me off. i wanna leave this place, but i have nowhere to go. i would just go to college, but the world is gonna end soon anyway, (read up on the oil peak) so whats the point? i dont know what to do anymore.
all i want is to be happy and live my last days in peace, but i dont know if i can anymore. ive taken more drugs than most people you will ever meet, mostly acid though. so im not sure if i can ever be normal. so what else is left out there for me? the only idea i have for the future is to play guitar and hope i get really good at it. music is my lifes passion, (thats why i think im a hippy) its my lifes dream. but it isnt a practical one. i want to quit my job and spend the rest of my life on a guitar, but thats just illogical. the only thing i want to do with my life is to create beautiful music, but my heart and my head dont get along.
so my question is this. is there any place that a hippy like myself can go and just live? i would rather work for the benifit of something other that a billion dollar corporation that doesnt know i exist. its not that i dont want to work, but i have to work for a reason. i dont have a girlfriend and all the women i know are incredibly selfish or whores. so theres no reason there. i want to work for the betterment of society. i want to live in a world where money doesnt matter, i want to find a beautiful soul to love, and i want to find a peace of mind that i just cant find in this town. is there anywhere i can go? where else can i find people who refer to themselves as hippies? where can i find a bunch of open minded people who share my ideas? i need to know that im not alone in the way i think. but where can i find what im looking for? i ask this because im starting to doubt that i will ever find anything. thank you for reading this, but i dont know if you can help me. i just needed to get all this off my mind, but thank you anyway

 

Im not sure what to tell ya, but if I were you I wouldn't let the whole peak oil thing stop me from going to college...trust me.

 

you know what I do? I work for a little bit because we all need money to survive. For a fw months I buckle down, don't smoke so much pot,I try not to party a lot. I bank all my money and when the time is right- BAM! I break free and have the time of my life. I adopt a new name every summer and be the carefree hippie that lives inside.

I know people suck, and a job sucks, and trying to get your head straight after a lot of acid is difficult, but just CHILL! relax, breathe deep, reach that peaceful hippie inside... you better?

RAAAR! -sometimes that helps, man (ha ha ha I couldn't resist)

anyway seriously. It's not that bad when you take breaks. you're young so who cares? try not to figure everything out now, just make the best of what comes along.

 

you could have just left it as "i dont know what i am doing with my life" - most of us understand...just keep going and perhaps it will become clearer..and be the best that you are....more than you think

 

Hehe that sounds sort of like what I do, the money part anyway... Jobs are just meant to get money, once I have sufficient money, screw the job.
I don't really know what I'm doing with my life either though. I know many things I want to do, but....

 

uhhh, good luck with that