I Discovered I'm Trans

Hello everyone, I am a straight male (or so I thought) and I just wanted to let you know that tonight I discovered I'm trans. I had always been a little curious about it but I finally took the plunge and put on a pair of panties, a dress, high heels and lipstick and I was amazed at how comfortable I felt. I was walking around my house all night tonight in these and it felt so great and natural. I think in the end I was trying to deny this part of myself but it feels so liberating to finally accept it. Any thoughts or advice on how to proceed?

 

Congratulations! I know what transgenderism is but I don't know from experience everything about experiencing is. I do know it can be difficult even without dealing with the transphobes.
That said, about all I can recommend is to be patient and don't expect resolution overnight. This goes for you as well as those you are involved with socially. It's a transition for everyone involved. I hope those folks will be supportive.

 

There are many different kinds of "trans" people, so you'll want to consider what kind you are. You could be a heterosexual crossdresser (sounds like you might well be). Me, I'm a bisexual shemale; I love playing girlfriend for my boyfriend. Many male crossdressers, I believe, don't do that kind of thing; they may even have wives or girlfriends, and want no boyfriends. Then there are those who actually think they're women trapped in men's bodies; I'm pretty sure the majority of "trans" people don't think that. I certainly don't, and it sounds like you don't either. But welcome to the realm of "trans" people, whatever kind you may turn out to be!

 

I can't help but think of the gender roles prescribed by society - the so-called differences... Women = long hair. Dresses vs. pants... All of that stuff is a social construct.

When you challenge that you can choose to embrace the opposite role, or to dismantle the role altogether & say that it's ok to wear whatever you want, no matter who you are.

But I'm neither trans or even bi. I'm a hetero guy. I just thought about that though.

 

There are some real differences, but many so-called differences too. Social expectations can certainly be too restrictive, needlessly confining people who don't fit into them. Ladies in generations gone by didn't wear trousers. Now they do, but men (irrationally) are still often held in contempt if they wear skirts. Too silly--there's nothing wrong with men wearing women's clothes, even if they're shemales wearing bikinis! (Laughter)

Actually, many hetero guys are "trans" in the sense of crossdressers, although many more are not!

 

I guess the difference between transgender and transvestite becomes more apparent then. Often enough, anyone wearing women's clothing who isn't biological female gets called out in some way - be it misgendering, bullying, or other ad hominem.

 

Bullying, if it rises to the level of a criminal or juvenile delinquent act (as I believe it often does), should be prosecuted, period. "Misgendering" is a bit more complex. The concept is sometimes used to condemn people who allegedly engage in "misgendering" because they don't agree that (e.g.) a biological male who claims to be a woman really is a woman. I think that's a bad thing because mere disagreement, in general, is not an offense worthy of condemnation. I deliberately call myself a "shemale," not a "transgender woman," to signify that I'm a male with pronounced feminine aspects, not someone who demands agreement that biology has nothing whatever to do with gender.

 

Great idea, but the moderately well-known problem with it is that what makes you temporarily happy in a certain way may have (at best) no connection with what will give you full and lasting happiness.

 

Full and lasting happiness is elusive, but pan-sexual and pan-gender men do the best we can, making little adjustments, and sometimes big adjustments, along the way.

I've known for a long time that I need to express both my masculinity and my femininity in order to survive. This is not always easy to do in a world where so many people want you to only express maleness or femaleness. But, here is what I have found.

Open-minded women and gay men tend to be better listeners than straight men. If you need to express your inner life, make friends with good listeners, and talk to them whenever they have time and the inclination. Let them express themselves, also. This has allowed me to be both masculine and feminine at the same time. I don't tell my friends about the details of my love life, but I do express appreciation and love for anyone who is willing to share what is really happening in their lives and hear what is really happening in my life.

Many men are just busting at the seams from all their conditioning. It is so difficult for them to be "manly" all the time-- so confining. When you find men like this, make some space in your life for them. So many men have almost zero vocabulary for expressing what they feel, because even just developing this vocabulary is considered "feminine". But don't let that stop you. Be feminine when you need to. Express your femininity whenever you have the chance, and let other men do the same.

The world will not wildly spin of its axis if you become more sensual, affectionate. and loving. It's definitely an adventure to experience and express both masculinity and femininity, but for many of us, it is essential to our survival. If you feel trapped by society's definition of a man, escape from the trap. This probably does not fit into the classical perception of transgender people only including those who change from male to female, or vice versa. There are many who encompass the whole spectrum of gender.

 

Frankly, that sounds to me like the narrowest definition of the word. So, according to you, male cross-dressers who realize they're males are not transgender, no matter how feminine they may be in action and appearance? Well, at least that makes it easy to tell whether they need a therapist to help them discern whether they're transgender. They don't, because they don't think they're really females; they only like to do things that are deemed feminine, like wearing women's clothes (such as my bikini, for example). Isn't that right?

 

Terrific. OK, WesternNudists, have you got that? No need for a therapist to help you figure out if you're "trans" after all, I guess, as long as you still realize you're a male! Enjoy your "gender-nonconforming" adventures--I sure enjoy mine!

 

And I sure do enjoy my "gender-nonconforming" adventures. Discovering new aspects of feminine expression is like finding new veins of gold in an underground mine. It's exciting and comforting. Women generally have much greater access to a broad range of emotion and sensuality than men.

I am still obviously a man, but I have become whole and more expressive by honoring my femininity.

 

Beautiful! Me too! I love it!

 

I was lucky, because I discovered that I was non-binary early in life, even before I first started having sexual relations with others. Depending on the situation, I felt masculine, feminine, or a fluid mix of both in my relationships. This allowed me to resonate with other men who had made the same discovery. I have found that non-binary cis-men naturally gravitate to each other, and that they end up becoming close with open minded women. That reduced the feeling of being trapped in a man's body, although there are many situations where I have to cloak my feminine aspects for safety purposes (I live in the rural southwestern part of the USA).

However, I read so many posts from men who talk about how hard it is to bust out of society's gender "rules" and find other men they can relate to in an open and affectionate manner. They strike me as feeling extremely trapped. Many of them end up focusing on male genital fetishes, and feel deeply conflicted about their sensuality. These men tend to have a difficult time expressing the emotions they are experiencing. Women had to work hard to achieve each stage of liberation in society, and men will have to do the same with regard to overcoming society's gender "rules". I encourage trapped men to share their feelings with other men who feel trapped, either in informal one-on-one situations or at men's group situations.

And obviously, there are people who have known since early in life that they were trapped in the wrong sex assignment at birth. I have witnessed various stages of the transition made by two of these women from male to female. In both cases, they went from feeling trapped to gradually feeling liberated. This was wonderful to observe in each case. Both women are so much happier now than they were before.

People yearn to be their authentic selves.

 

Im a straight male, i enjoy wearing womens lingerie, particularly stockings and panties because it feels so nice, i have in the past bought summer dresses, corsellets, girdles and even strappy heels but only ever worn them in private, i will go out wearing stockings bra and panties under my normal clothes, but i have no desire to be a women or look like a women, i wear them became they feel unbelievable sexy and soft,