so i lied. Well, i told him i had a boyfriend which isn't entirely the truth. I actually am interested in someone who I hope to soon "hook up" with. Well, this guy who i heard had been crushing on me, asked me out but I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to go out with him because I am interested in someone else. I feel bad for lying to him because I know how horrible it feels to be lied to. But I really couldn't think of anything else to say to let him down gently? With other guys i didn't want to go out with, I just told them that 'I wasn't ready for a relationship' or i would leave them hanging and never follow through with a response. I mean, I know when I want to go out with a guy and I know when i have feelings for him. But this guy just wasn't my type and I feel bad for letting him down. What should i have said? Does anyone have any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.
"What should I have said?" In my opinion ... the truth. If he is let down by the truth, then you have nothing to feel sorry about, because his problem with it may be his own.
At least you were close to the realm of truth when you told him you had a boyfriend... it's none of his business that you're interested in another guy, want to hook up with him, and are hoping that you can in the future blahblahblah. Simply saying that you're "seeing someone" or are "interested in someone else already" would be like shorthand for that statement... but attaching a false boyfriend lable isn't necessary. It could lead to you having to tell more lies. Was the guy who asked you out a stranger, or could he find out that you don't have a boyfriend? You also have to be careful with saying you have a boyfriend, because the guy might hear, "I want to go out with you, but I can't. Ask me again when I'm single." The same is true for saying that you're not ready for a relationship. First, even though it's a lie, you're revealing too much about yourself. If you're not interested, you don't need to share personal/emotional details... it's none of his business. It gives him the false hope that he might have a chance, because you're interested in him enough to share that private aspect of yourself. It also might lead to more lies.. the guy could try to just be your friend, might seek "platonic dates," ask why you aren't ready for a relationship, etc. It also implies that he should ask again later.. What if you run into him a year later and he asks you out again? Or if you run into him shortly after with your new boyfriend? If you weren't interested in someone else, would you have gone out with him? The truth is the best thing to say.. and you can keep it short and simple. You could just say you don't feel a strong connection, or don't think you'd be compatible, or he isn't your type, etc.
I agree you should have or could have told him the truth. However, you didn't so that is in the past. What difference does it make now? Are you feeling guilty? Then go back to him and explain it to him truthfully. However, I'm not sure why you would miss out on the chance to find the love of your life and someone who you really might connect with just to hold out for someone you have a crush on from afar. I mean what if you never hook up with this guy you like?
its good to be honest and tell him that you arent interested. though its really hard to say it straight to their face ""you're not my type" sort of thing, you could try by saying "i dont think we have much in common, at least i dont see any chemistry here"...that pretty much says it all, without being a bitch or a liar. "i just want to be friends with you" helps too
yeah, but only say this if you REALLY want to be friends. and you might also have to hear, "GAH, everyone just wants to be friends, nobody wants to date me, whats the deal?"
I think "Sorry, but I'm kind of hung up on somebody else" is a pretty kynd let down. That way they don't take it personally. Just never tell them who.
"No" sounds good. You don't owe him an explanation. Just tell him "no", and be polite about it, and be done with it. You'd be surprised how well people take it.
Tell him you're a devil-worshipping lesbian with AIDS and would he like to be your first human sacrifice . (I'm kidding).Actually,I think your answer was fine and it is better to tell a small lie ( like ,you have a boyfriend) rather than waste his time and bruise his ego. ~peace & love
don't feel bad. I wear an engagement ring usually when I go out so I don't attract weirdos. If he can't tell from your vibes that your not into him then he's probobly sleazy.
