i did myself with a carrot am i going to die?

I masturbated, and decided to use a carrot to stimulate my anus, whilst it was a great orgasm will i get infections or any shiznit from the carrot? lolz.

 

If you were an idiot and didn't at least wash the carrot it is quite possible to absorbe insectisides(sp), bacteria, amobea, etc. through the walls of your rectum. It is one of the worst places to stick unclean objects.

Next time use a condom, or better yet, a dildo.

But if you have a serious veggie fetish then butch up and try a cucumber or a large green squash ... again use a condom and wash the veggie before hand.

Or even better yet, get a girlfriend and let her use a nice strap-on on you.

 

I did go over it with hot water a little before. Would that of helped?

Them things you said, are they very dangerous. Now im worried! Could i get anal cancer?

 

wow dude stop freaking out if your that worried about it see a bloody doctor stop asking people you dont even know... word of advice vegetables can carry samonela ^_^ enjoy

 

So why do we eat them then? It was an organic carrot!

Ok im sorry, im freaking out, what are the chances that i might of caught something serious? Soemthing that would need treatment, or something that will just go away on its own after a few days.

thank you.

 

Did you eat the carrot afterwards?

 

You're only trouble you will likely get into is when Bugs Bunny misses his carrot.

 

this thread makes me laugh

patient: dr dr help me i stuck a carrot up my ass am i gonna die?

dr: if ya thought u might die from sticking a carrot up your ass, why did ya stick ir up there?


if ya want a carrot up the ass more then ya wanna live whats it matter? otherwise the time to ask the question is before ya stick it up there..not after

 

Soarineagle, that was great.

To the OP, you're gonna be fine. The big risk would be that you tear your rectum, but if yo're not bleeding/in pain, its fine. Working in an Er, you see a lot weirder things up peoples' asses

 

Please do tell

 

thank you thats all i needed to here, never again lol.

Also, please tell us! lol

 

I hate you ... I have Pepsi squirting out of my nose now. This thread is so full of lulz it's pathetic.

Dude, I don't care what someone says that "works in the ER" There is a reason you are supposed to 'clean' veggies. And running them under hot water does almost next to nothing except maybe clean clumps of dirt or whatever off of the food.

Think about where these things are grown. The ground. What lives in dirt? Go out to your back yard dig a nice hole next to where your dog crapped and pissed, stick your hand in. Roll it around for a bit and make sure it's nice and coverd. Next step go inside and stick it under a faucet for a minute. No scrubing now. And def. no soap.

Okay. you've done about as much as the distributor does. Now stick it back under and do what you did with your carrot. A little hot water for a minute.

Okay all done. Now is your hand clean? I bet there might be dirt under those nails, in the creases of your hand etc. Okay, now stick your hand up your ass.

Are you in immediate danger? Maybe, maybe not. You'd probably show some sign by now if it were something truly nasty. If you get sick, intestinal cramps, loose stool, vomiting, etc. then I'd get to the hospital and tell them you like to stick unclean produce up your butt. Don't lie to your doctor, it can lead to an incorrect diagnosis.

And yes "ER Person" is very right when they say that there is danger from puncturing the wall of your rectum. You are putting something pointy next to very sensitive tissue. If you have very intense pain whenever you cop a squat or any blood in the potty then get yourself to the doctor.

If you haven't eaten the carrot yet (shaking head, facepalm) then pop it in a baggy and take it with you.

For future reference there is something called "Produce Wash" that you can pick up in the produce section of your local grocery. Or wash your veggies in salt water for a few minutes. It will kill most of the crap that live on the exterior of veggies.

All kinds of lulz

 

LMAO. Quit sticking things up your ass. go get a chick. A carrot still lmao. You need to get out more.

Peace

 

You Idiot! Why did you stick a carrot up your ass? You're going to die. Don't listen to these other lamo's. YOU WILL DIE. Get your affairs in order now before it's too late. And don't get angry at the carrot either, it's your fault.

 

Why the concern over sterilization of penetrating objects? After all, on the whole, the bacterial concentration is far higher on the insdie than it's going to be on the outside - that is, of course, with the exception of anything that has the remotest possibility of being contaminated with such STDs as AIDS.

 

Oh, well, actually you can't catch AIDS. You catch HIV which becomes AIDS later on. But yeah I agree with you, Pineman.

 

Does sticking a carrot up your ass help correct your vision? Just curious..


HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A ASSHOLE WEARING GLASSES?

 

Did you actually read anything I wrote? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm really just wondering.

The walls of your rectum is one of the most sensitive area of your bodies. Do you wonder why doctors sometimes prescribe sopositories (sp). It's because you will absorb it quickly into your bloodstream. So "anything" that enters your body in that direction will be absorbed if it is small enough (i.e. bacteria, viruses, drugs, alcohol, etc.)

Just because certain bacteria live inside your rectum does not mean you can't catch anything else. Have you picked up a newspaper, or turned on the tv or gone into a resturant lately? Do the word salmanila and tomatoes mean anything? It's that easy. tomatoes are produce and carrots are produce as well. Does holding those infected tomatoes under hot water for a minute make it any safer to eat. Nope.

And I said nothing about sterilization. You can't do that to foods. However you can put a condom on the stupid carrot before shoving it up your butt.

Yo know what ... never mind. I'm just going to sit back and thank whomever it is for thinning the genepool when that person hits the one veg or fruit that does have some freaked out flesh-eating bacteria on it.

 

The most common thing to see stuck up people's asses is bottles or varying sizes and shapes. Human sexuality is odd. Pretty much anything that is vaguely phallic has probably been up an ass.

I will reassert(not insert you perv) that the primary risk to this type of activity is trauma to the rectum/anus rather than disease. The risk of catching something from the carrot is not any worse than eating a carrot stick(and the ranch is probably the most trecherous part of that whole operation). There are just not that many STD's hanging out on store bought carrots. The other diseases the veggies harbour could be transmitted through consumption. So, unless you're paranoid about eating food, I would be paranoid about diseases.

Cheers.

 

how far up is this wall of the rectum thing you say? Or is it just the rectum in general so everywhere in that area.

Well im fine now, im pretty sure i would of noticed something by now, it was stupid and never again.