I Am Ridiculous.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by dietcoketree, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. dietcoketree

    dietcoketree Member

    i spend every second of every day missing this guy that i dated for 5 months. our relationship ended 1 month ago. i have been trying to move on by going out and meeting new people. ive been asked out on dates from very nice people and if i do accept, i just end up not being interested. logically, theyd be perfect for me. but i just cant seem to forget about my first true love.

    the month that weve been apart seems so much longer. EVERYDAY i look for him when im just driving. i wait for him to call.

    i want to move on but i dont know how to.

    i dont want to convey the idea that im just like obsessing over him because thats really not it, i just miss him terribly. im in love and thats not something i can just turn off. how can i start to move on?
     
  2. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    Dietcoketree,

    I'm very sorry.. since I had the opportunity to read about what you've posted awhile ago. No break up is ever easy and especially not the first. You seem like you actually are trying the best you can to overcome thoughts of your ex, and I do admire you.

    I can't speak for anyone else but I know that I have (in the past) desperately tried to get over someone in ways that I wouldn't necessarily recommend but it was perfect for me at the time, and up to this day, I do not regret them. But maybe it's also time to take it easy and stop trying so hard. Let time do its work, and allow other people to come into your life.

    After some relationships, letting go (personally) came with realizing that while I may have been very much still in love, as time continued, I also realized that it was not him I was in love with anymore but the idea of him. It was the memory I was in love with, the ideal I clung to... and all of which really NO longer was him anymore. This is because they are and do become part of the past. The behaviour, the intimacy was never revisited or rekindled and thank god for that. Some lessons are learned for life, once and for all. Then we put them aside, stories and more stories. But we keep learning.

    It's only been a month for you. It took me almost a year to get over my first serious relationship. By no means should you treat any of this as a measuring stick - everyone is different. Some take much much longer, some are quicker. It doesn't mean anyone's pain is any less or more. Just know that Rome wasn't built in a day.

    Don't let the hurt or loneliness eat at you, but let time do it's thing too, yeah? Maybe the confusing thing for you is wondering whether or not it's normal to be expecting calls, looking out for him, waiting to hear from him. Well, as far as I'm concerned, even if I don't know what normal is, I know that I've done that many times and not only after the first serious relationship. It's natural to do those things after months of doing it. Don't be so impatient or frustrated with yourself. After training or conditioning your mind to wake at a certain time or do a certain activity, how can you expect it to snap back in reverse to some kind of pc-system-restore-point? We aren't machines. Take it easy.
     
  3. AshtonsMom

    AshtonsMom Banned

    you are still young yet, dct. don't worry about menial things like that right now. enjoy your youth and being young, because believe me, it flies so fast. it seems like i only blinked and "boom" i have a kid...:D
     
  4. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    You know, I used to despise the patronizing "you are so young!" dribble. Menial? The girl is suffering through a breakup and trying her best. I'm not sure how that is supposed to make her feel better. For goodness sake.
     

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