I am really fucking up right now :|

I am in my LAST year in high school, my last report was almost honor roll except for an F in english, which is VERY VERY hard. I swear i have the worst english teacher in history. he teaches us like we are in college and shit and it really is hard. He gives us some shit of class work, homework, research papers. etc. Now i have to do this portfolio for this exit interview. And i also need a B in his class this semester to graduate, otherwise I fail because i've had straight F's in his class all the first semester and half the second semester.

I am really fucking up, i mean weed helps me realize that i DO need to just do this shit, but i seriously need some kind of motivation. I just can't stay focused, maybe senoritis? I dont know lol.

But lately all i've been doing is going ouside chillin with friends and getting high all day, missing some shit of school days, truancy keeps calling my house and sending me letters, and on the internet ( which is i admit kind of addicting )

A couple more days and i think i might be up for a truancy charge if i keep being late for school. Im tired as hell at school always think i need more sleep.

Me and two other guys were planning on doing an armed robbery last friday, but it didn't go through, because of car problems. Yes i know, very stupid. Then i was smoking a blunt one night with 2 friends, and i was just like WTF am i doing? Robbing people? Thats not even cool, thats not even me. Im glad it didn't go through, i was thinking like, my record is clean as a whistle. Dont need to fuck it up with a felony, cause it will present problems when trying to find a job.

I really need to get my shit straight and pass this guys class. I really am NOT looking forward to summer school which is $300 this year.

I really need some motivation. I think i am going to stop smoking weed, including tobacco, until after i graduate, cause it makes me tired and not want to do shit. My room is always junkie, its a damn shame how unorganized i am. I tried to make a schedule which i prioritize things to do like chores, homework, etc. but that only lasted like 1 day.

I just bought an x-box 360 and gta4, which now it is even going to be harder to foxus on school. My mother took it last night and locked it in her room this morning cause i didn't go to school :|

I was mad as hell, but i think its what i needed.

My mother even said that she would be me a car and all i have to do is graduate.

There is only like 4 or 5 more weeks of school left until the school year ends. Im going to try my best to get my shit straight.

 

Dude get on your shit. I dont mean to sound like a prick but...seriously high school isnt a must but its deffinatly alot of help when you are just getting out of the world. I fucked up and dropped out and was to stubborn and now Im to old to go back (something about them not liking the idea of an 18 year old freshman).

The stopping smoking thing is a good Idea. Its probably best that your mom took away your xbox.

I really hope you do well. I really really wish I would have stuck it through high school.

 

good luck man

 

You could go to job corps. They offer a high school diploma program that can be completed within a few months, with a graduation ceremony and everything. They also teach you a trade and you can get certified.


Hated.....just buckle down dude. You know what you need to do, so do it. Simple. If making a good life for yourself isn't enough motivation, then what is?

 

You know not everyones made out for the University route. I mean if your finding the 'college' way your teacher teaches is hard, its only going to get harder in Uni and college, and theres a lot more on the line there. Just something to think about.

 

dude, english cant be that hard. You just need to look at it in a different prespective. I alway took my class projects as a challenge not a chore. It is actually very fun. My senior year was the year I started smoking weed, and I had a blast learning while blazed. I got the best grades that year too.. ironically. I dont understand how weed makes you lazy, it invigorates me. good luck getting your shit together, you seem to have a bit of sense.

 

It was the same for me. When I started going to class stoned off my ass, I was getting better grades than ever; straight A's and B's. It's too bad the school system didn't see it that way though, because they kicked me out for coming to class high, even though I was getting better grades than I ever had. lol Fuck them closed-minded ass mofos.

 

i hope u graduate! and the whole GTA thing is crazy. my friend was so sucked into it, he skipped and didnt come to school some days cuz he was addicted to playing GTA... haha.

 

damn, gta is fun..but not THAT fun, i eventually have enough of it after a couple of hours or so

 

Ditch the gaming for now. You don't need to be distracted. My wife started college at 26 & was feeling fatigued more than usual. She got tested & put on adderall. She finished on the deans list. It was day & night. Her concentration & energy was great. NOT saying that is the course of action for you.
It just seems like you are experiencing major burn out. With only 4-5 weeks left & the promise of a car, that is a lot to get motivated on.
Maybe take a few minutes to talk to your Mom & maybe to your teacher. Voice your other good grades, but need some guidance in this particular class. Proves you give a shit. You seem like a sensible individual & just need to get refocused. Asking for help or voicing your concerns is normal & admirable!