I am questioning my sexuality, please help

Friday night my friend and I had our girlfriends over for a movie night with just the four of us. We all had some alcoholic beverages, and decided to have a little fun with a childish game of truth or dare. of course the first thing for us to dare the girls was for them to make out. my friend and i watched as they made out, being a bit intoxicating the got into it a little bit, and we both agreed that it was one of the hottest things we've seen. The girls then retorted by daring US to make out. at first, we thought they were crazy, and gave eachother very awkward glances. They said that they went through with it, and that we must. We decided to swallow our pride, and do as the girls asked. It started out as a little kiss. His lips slighly brushed mine. I moved away at first but i was kind of intrigued. We continued to lightly kiss eachother. Before we knew it a lot of time went by and we got caught up in the moment. I wasn't aware of the outside world anymore. Soon the kisses became more passonate and his hands moved up and down my body. I was ashamed to admit it, but i kinda of liked the feeling of his touch against me. I'm having trouble forgetting the feeling of his tongue sliding in and out of my mouth. After the heavy makeout session, my friend looked at me, gave me a quick kiss, and left in a hurry. now that everybody was gone, i had some alone time. I was extremely turned on by the whole situation and i ended up masturbating. The ironic thing was as i was masturbating i was thinking of my friend and out little adventure from that night.

Now i am afraid to call my girlfriend, who wasnt there when this was over (neither was his), and am very afraid to talk to my friend because i dont know what he thought of it either, and dont even know if i'd rather be with my girlfriend or my friend. I am in a very terrible situation, please give your input on this

 

A lot of people (I'm told) go through phases where they question their sexuality. Sometimes they end up gay, sometimes they end up bi, sometimes they end up totally straight. My advice is to just think on it for as long as you like. Go where you want to go.

 

First of all, unless YOU tell them what you felt and thought about it all, no one has any reason to think anything more about it than you give them. Why should they, at this point, think that it meant any more to you than a truth or dare act?

Have you thought about actually having sex with your friend, or just about the kiss? Have you had sex with your girlfriend, or has it not reached that point? You need to just examine your own feelings about it all. You don't necessarily have to be gay just because you enjoyed a homoerotic experience. No big deal.

If you see your friend or talk to him, and you are worried about this, don't bring it up. If HE brings it up, and questions you about it, you can either tell him that it excited you, or play it off as though there was nothing to it, depending on whether you want to play it straight and admit your true feelings or keep it secret.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

I think everyone should disregard the concept of gender.

 

I agree wholeheartedly!!!

But in response to the original post.......don't worry about it, I know that that is easier said than done - I went through the same thing myself only a few years ago.

In the end it doesn't make one bit of difference whether you are gay or not, so its not worth worrying about.

As long as you can become comfortable with who you are then nothing else matters. If you are fearful of what your friends and family think remember this - no one can tell you how to live your life, true friends and family should be prepared to love you unconditionally, if not you are probably better off without them!

 

I haven't heard of many successful homosexual relationships that came from truth or dare games...but hey, who says you can't be the first?

 

I'm 19 and I still haven't had any question to my sexuality. That seems weird because most of my guy friends are either bi-sexual or have told me they've questioned their sexuality a few times in the past. I don't know if I should give this advice, because I could really be giving you some bad advice here, but what works for me when I want to find myself is a handful of mushrooms. You could try that, or just sit on this experience while sober. Mushrooms could very well make you think something is there in you that really isn't, though, so it's a double-bladed sword. This is fairly common, so I'd say that in your transitory phase of young-adulthood you might not want to rush into any beliefs. If you liked it, though, I don't see any reason not experiment with someone who is not your close friend. You'd obviously want to tell that person that you were experimenting as to not hurt his feelings or make him think you necessarily want to get involved.

I'm a 19 year old heterosexual, though, so I may have just given you the worst advice of your life. lol

 

I'm totally with ImmortalDissident. Love knows no gender. Don't worry about it.

 

Well, a kiss is a kiss, and for me, gender isn't all that important.

 

Sex is playful, funny and beautiful. There are many different colors of the sexual flower, different petals on this flower of perfection. Everything is beautiful, you are beautiful. We are all one energy, our forms has different sexual makeups, mine is hetrosexual, yours is most likely bisexual. So, no big deal, my friend once told me he was bisexual, he let it slip out even though he wants no one to know and dates all these girls. We are working in the summer and just telling all our secrets, and he told that one of is... but see when it comes down to it, the real friends accept you... and man the universe accepts you and loves you, you are a beautiful being shining.

 

dude, i think if i made out with a guy id be intrigued too. i think you were only aroused because it was something totally different. i remember when i met my first real gay couple i was curious to a point where one might call it desire. its only the extreme diffferene that might make you feel this way. i dont think your gay if you had no doubts on your sexuality before the makeout.

please dont get me wrong when i say what i am about to say. i am completely openminded to homosexuality and i think there is nothing immoral about it but the truth is, homosexuality defies the laws of nature. it is not logical for two members of the same sex to love each other. in fact, i dont think anyone really loves each other. we just either know people very well (i.e. parents) or have extreme physical attraction/friendship. homosexuality is a concept which is a product of intelligence and ultimately, one can choose to love a man or a woman. choose whatever you want, both choices are mediocre.

 

theres nothign wrong with being gay, or questioning your sexuality.

But since it seems like you want someone to tell you you're not gay then maybe this will help.

I was at a friend's graduation party, possibly the coolest senior i knew, and he is gay. After partaking of the alcoholic beverages he got so horny he made out with a female. On multiple occasions he has expressed that heterosexuality is disgusting, and yet after getting drunk he'll sink beyond unattractive men to unattractive women. Before you get really freaked out, talk to your friend sober

 

Hasn't everyone been through this situation?

Well, not everyone, but I think it's pretty common. A few years ago, my best friends at the time told me they did things like make out all the time with eachother. hahaha, they were practically humping behind the blechers, really hurt my self-esteem for a few months because I didn't get much action! :$

It sounds pretty okay that you enjoyed it, you don't have to feel guilty about him being a man. The only thing to really worry about, is if either of you feel guilty about the encounter, or you feel awkward around eachother after this, it could damage your friendship. That's where it gets really tricky, and dealing with your girlfriend also. Talk it out, follow your heart, that is the best advice I can give you, whether it was very helpful or not. Keep us informed, and good luck!

 

That's a GREAT fucking post.

Nothing in our modern society is natural, so big deal.



It's logical to love the same sex because like GanjaPrince said, we're all one.

We all come from the same and end up in the same anyways. But while we're here, the only natural logical thing is to love.

Sex doesn't have to involve love, it's just a different more... loving experience when it does.

There's no difference between sex with a man and sex with a woman, other than the difference of which one you enjoy more (or you might like them just the same).

Don't let other mother fuckers judgements weigh your judgement down. Don't be embarrassed about what you feel. Talk to your friend about it. His hands were moving around on your back and his tounge was in your mouth, not just yours in his. If it went on that long you obviously both enjoyed it and if he hasn't brought it up or contacted you yet then he's undoubtedly going through EXACTLY the same thing as you. He might be dealing with it differently but it's probably the same thing. Even if it's not it can't hurt to talk about it. He can't make fun of you for being a faggot, because..... he was the one you were doing it with.

If you know you like girls then you're not gay. Gay is just a figure of speech anyways. It's stupid to say strait bi or gay, we're beings who love. We have sex. Some have sex only with the opposite sex, usually because they're afraid of social stigmas and never look into the possibility that they might like to get it on with their best buddy.


Oh: marquee I wasn't talking shit about you or anything. I just wanted to point that out (the modern society thing)

 

This shows your ignorance and how you are out of touch you are with that which is IN YOU, that KNOWS and LOVES ALL BEINGS.

First of all, sex is not linked to love, IT CAN BE and often is, but the love you have for say your mother or father, is not sexual.

We are all brothers and sisters, we are all beings of the same energy, they are proving this with the unified field theory, one consciousness with infinite wisdom, beauty and love.

So love can and MUST be shared by everyone in order for us to evolve, realize this, and not kill each other. Thus we escape the egocentric predicament, and see the collective wisdom. Because it's not longer about me me me, it is about you you you, and that includes all of us. UNCONDITIONAL love is the cure for this sick world, lost in the realms and layers of ego, ignorance and cynicism, where a being can sit there and say that is not natural for a sister to love and sister and brother to love a brother.

Love is an pure healing and liberating energy. When your eyes awaken, every blade of grass sings I love you, the rain from the sky is tears from the divine crying for all of humanity, as you laugh at all the playful folly of the world and the energy of love is seen in everything that is, it is like you are riding on a beautiful boat ride through the ocean of love, and you are just waving to the people on the shore, being attacked by these demons, and you are giggling with compassionate humor, and you say, hop on the boat, there is a better place my friend.


Now as far as sex goes. They are showing that sexuality can be linked to the brain structure and genetics and these sorts of things. It's not black and white and there is much we don't know and factor in about soul evolution, reincarnation, and the effect it can have when a soul goes right from a male to a female incarnation. Yet the thing is that homosexuality, bisexuality, and hetrosexuality all exist. They are patterns in the universe that have been going on and even occur in animals. Now in thier universe, what they are doing is natural. It is what they do, it is thier sexual make-up, thier desires, fears, cravings, all these things revolve around thier own make-up in thier sexual universe. So they see things through the viel of thier own ego. Thus can accept or understanding other sexual preferences, and might react to them with a stance of say, it is not natural.

Now, let's look at the hetrosexual universe, which I know about. Now in this universe, one is attracted sexual ly to the oppossite sex, that is the natural thing, the way it moves along. It seems so harmonious, you are with most of the world, and you look at the animals, and you see the male lion with the female lion, it all fits together. So in this sexual universe you see this being that is like you, the same gender, thus they are the same sex as you, but they are attracted sexually to the same sex. huh, it goes into the mind, and an answer comes out, error. This doesn't compute in your sexual universe, because you are a hetrosexual thus what else can exist when you are stuck in your ego. So there are many reactions to this, fear, confusion and whatever. people become homophobics, grossed out and put off by any sort of homosexuality. This stance becomes a part of our culture, the word gay orginally meaning happy, was taken by the homosexual community as thier word, thus the word now has fear, confusion attached to it in the hetrosexual universe, so now you find the word GAY meaning boring or stupid or something that isn't good, gross, different and whatever. This may seem like just a figure of speech, but the pattern is obvious, a word that meant happy changed to a negative thing after it is linked with homosexuality, DUH, people are scared, and afraid. Others are intrigued by it, wow, I don't get it, that sort of thing, but more a curiosity about it. Others are so curious that they try things like you and your friend did and/or they are just intrigued by say lezbians (for my particular form, I really had this curiousity and facination as well as intense desire about lezbians, it was a great turn on to me, still is, I usually end up with bisexual women). As for the hetrosexuals that explored, through this, they find out, hey they don't like it after all they are in the hetrosexual universe. NOTE: The ones that do were people usually have had many thoughts, feelings, desires before in this area... Hense they were not in the hetrosexual universe, even though they may have thought they were. Then there are those that just accept these different beings, these seem to often be beings that have escape the egocentric world and have devoloped compassion, love and understanding.


Then there are those that are afraid... this seems to be the biggest sector, these people react with prejudice, with varying degrees, sometimes only subconcious. These are people like Jerry Falwell that will use religious excuses to make public thier inner fears and confusions. Because after all, only hetrosexuality fits into a hetrosexual universe, it is the only natural thing, because they are stuck in the egocentric predictment. When I grew up, i was surrounded by people, that put down homosexuality, faggot was the worst insult, people were really prejudiced and mean, a lot of hate, a lot of misunderstanding... Now I was a real liberal, and I would say all the right things you know. I would say, oh they can do what they want, there is nothing wrong with it. but inside it was different, after all surrounded by all these prejudice people it rubbed off on me BIG TIME, and I looked down at homosexuals and bisexuals, (i hypocritically didn't include female homosexual or bisexuals in this but this was lost on me). I thought them freaks of nature, and didn't want to be near them. One of my biggest inner fears was that people would think me as one of them because i defended them. This was a big thing, when i would defend homosexuals with my friends they used to mock me and call me names. I tried to be strong, you know, get off on the liberal hero thing, but the truth was it hurt, i didn't like being called what i wasn't even if they teased each other and everyone else like this. I wanted people to see me as I knew me, so everything fit. i cared so much about what people thought of me in almost every area. This was on the inside, I never told anyone about all this, I tried to escape it with video games, TV, and whatever... when I got into spirituality through a mystical experience on LSD. I began tripping, meditating, toking up, and all sorts of stuff, basically exploring my inner being. I wanted to clean myself out. Everything became my sadhana, my practice. I looked at myself honestly, and comfronted my deep imbedded homophobia (as well as deep imbedded racism that was passed down from my grandfather's family and loads of other things). It existed in my being, yet there were so many higher levels, the heart space, the soul. Through working with the heart, our heart, I learned within and made peace with homosexuality as a thing that exists in the universe. For i feel one should not push anything away, accept, love and understand through the pure seeing eyes of the inner heart. Now I see homosexuals and bisexuals as my brothers and sisters, I love them as I would the divine mother... Homophobia came up now and again in my practice it would resurface, but instead of being this demon that needs slaying, it is a little fuzz ball, come to have tea, and it leaves soon, runs off into the fields of illussion, while I sit and sing love songs to God. I also seen my hetrosexuality is a new light, instead of being the 'better' more natural thing... it was just what i was given, this form, this soul incarnation. The soul, is beyond gender and sexuality, it is pure, perfect and so on. This part I play through the soul happens to be hetrosexuality, which is just another petal of the cosmic flower of perfection. I gained a new confidence everything I did, and felt so fearless and free.

This post is an example of the progress i have made, now in the past before my spirituality, I would shy away from discussing such things, or going in such posts, after all i used to be real paranoid about what people would think of me. sure I knew what I was, but what if they thought me this or that because of this, all kinds of nuerotic battles. i was a mess... so to deal with this, I would avoid it, hoping it to go away, and at times i would play the liberal game and say my little speech.. Yet your inner issues always come up in your mind. now I go out of my way to talk about such issues at times, so that i may share the wisdom of my path, and share my own personal dance with homophobia, so that people may learn, fear is not the answer, love is.


What is, is, it is beyond conceptual thought, accept it and ride it into the infinite.

 

why dont u just call a gay escortservice and find out?

 

I agree with one of the posts...try again while you're sober, and see if you still enjoy it as much. Again, it isn't uncommon to question your sexuality...alot of people have been in your position and it had them thinking too. I'd ask my friend what he thought of it, because it seems to me that he was pretty much caught up in the moment, too. Good luck to you...IM me if you need any more advice on this, I'd love to help!

(now if you'll excuse me, i think i have to change my knickers...that was one hot friggin' story. :& )

 

By the way...as far as being with your girlfriend or your friend...you better check in with your friend to see whats up there before making any rash decisions about your current relationship. It may be weird to talk to your friend after what happened, but clearing up your feelings for eachother will help when deciding who you want to be with. Just take your time, talk to some other bisexual people about their first feelings with the same sex...and take it from there.

With my first girlfriend, I was sortof freaked out too. It hadn't started out as a truth or dare thing...actually, we had just gotten into a fight. We went into the bathroom so I could fix my makeup because I'd been crying, and before we walked out I stopped her. I don't know what the hell was going through my mind...maybe I thought it would make everything better...but I kissed her really softly on the lips. She kissed me back, and we made out for a second before returning to class. I was completely euphoric for the rest of the day...and I knew in my heart that I could care for her just as I did for a guy. The sexual part is always great...but when you know that you can connect emotionally with someone of the same sex, thats when you know that you're bisexual.

 

Yeah, I agree with the person saying that you might have liked it and it was so intense because it was so different. Same thing with some people and incest (which we've apparently found). I still suggest you talk to him about it and if you feel the need to, find someone other than a good friend with whom you can experiment. Homosexuality is unnatural in terms of Biology, but I don't see what relevance that practical application really has in a 21st century relationship.

 

Welcome to the world of Bi

Dont beleave you have to be gay or anything. There are no rules that say you have to be one or another. Just be yourself and love it all
I see no reason why you cant talk to your friend. and as for your GF..i bet those two ran off to have a very personal moment of their own cause they where so turned on watching you two get into it. Have fun with this. get them to confess what they did when they left. perhaps lie and say the moment that they left you two followed them and watched them make out.
hehe never know..she may slip and confess.