I have a 17 year old son i thinkhe may be gay? i dont care if he is but i want to know! how should i ask him with out hurting his feelings? i dont know what to say to him. He always hangs around girls he has NO guys friends at all! SO does that mean anything???
perhaps, regardless, you can drop hints and see if you get any subtle responses. The fact that he hangs with girls doesn't necessarily mean anything (teens+hormones). Good luck, cheers.
Hmmm asking your son if he is gay is offten a very tricky topic and will almost always lead to an arguement or him getting overly mad as he trys to convince himself and you that he isent but him hanging out with girls mostly is a good sign that he might just be curious but not haveing any male friends could just mean he dislikes there company in most case's a child (or Teen) will all female friends is trying to find who they really are in what they think and how they act but if you want to ask trying asking something like "hows the love life " or "got any hot dates i can meet" now the second question uselay ends up being a no so i dont know how much good it does and i am speaking some out of experience based on my self as i did have only female friends all threw school my parents pegged me for gay and asked and i naturaly blew up in their face about it but have come to terms with it and wouldent change it for the world any way if he is be as love and as surrportive as ever as he will need some one he can lean on , on those very bad days and he will have them sadly the world isent ready yet for a gay society likes its shapeing out to be sorry im rambleing now so best of wish'
if he is gay, the situation will be much harder for him than it is for you; therefore you should let him decide the time and place to tell you. in the meantime, makes sure he has the impression that you are accepting of him no matter what he is, so that he isn't too afraid to tell you when the time comes. also don't be hurt if he tells his friends or other adults before he tells you -- telling parents can be the hardest of all, but chances are he really does care more about you knowing than anyone else.
Please, please remember this. I know my parents were a lil hurt when they found out i told two friends before them.
I'd say, in my humble opinion, that since he's only 17 give him some space to let him figure it out and give nothing but agape love as a parent to him in the mean time. He'll let you know when the time is right for him.
That you have the sensitivity and concern to ask this question here already says volumns about you. I would assume the relationship between you and your son is good. Others here have given great advice. Set the stage for your son to act on. Make it clear that you love people for who they are and that labels mean nothing. Talk to him about your feelings for all people so that he knows his Mom has an open and caring heart. Man, its tough enough to come to grips with the realization that you are gay.... different than most people, hated by some. It takes a lot of courage to move from that realization to being able to say to your parents, "Mom, I'm gay". It's too important to get wrong. He may need to tell other people first, people who aren't as important as you... he may need to practice so that when he does tell you, he's got it right. Of course you will love him no differently. You know that but he He doesn't. He may still be trying to love himself as a gay kid. It's damn scary to think about rejection from those you love the most. I wish you and your son the very best, I hope you find some answers here, please feel free to ask anything you want to know. Steve
