the more i care, the meaner i get. why? because it makes me mad to see people hurting themselves and hurting each other. furious, even. i get so hurt watching people be fucking nasty that i turn fucking mean. and i don't just mean nasty to other people, but nasty to themselves. self-inflicted hells drive me insane. i, and i shudder to confess this, really do want everyone to be happy, healthy and cozy at home, despite my more practical stance on survival of the fittest. i wish we could be the sort of people that could survive in a communist environment, but know people are too fucked up to do so. i've never hated anyone over something they believed, but have been willing to destroy them based on what they've done or said (fuck forgiveness, eh?). i hate the society i live in, but am willing to try to find a place in it. this maudlin peace having been said, i'm going to get another glass of wine and watch MXC, because i've really annoyed myself.