I ACCIDENTALLY HAD SEX WITH A COUCH! revived edition

Discussion in 'True Confessions' started by freakwentflyer, May 14, 2004.

  1. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    Yes, I know many of you hate it but then you don't have to read it.
    After 10,000 views on the old site it was lost. So, I'm gonna re-tell all my old stories and some of the others, and I hope more join in with classic goofs, screw ups and pranks from their distant and recent past!
    Here's the first-
    _______________________________________________________
    I accidentally had sex with a couch..... [​IMG]

    ...I have a ton of stupid things I've done over the years. This is my friends favorite story.

    I was 16, at a party in England. All the free booze I could drink. Barely able to walk, a pretty young English girl dragged me into a vacant room. She sat on the couch and motioned me to come hither as she lifted her skirt and pulled off her panties. I crawled across the floor pulling off my pants (just to the knees)
    As she sat in the middle of the couch I pulled myself up her legs trying to fight back a hurl. On my knees, between her legs, I more or less fully erect, mounted my good woman.
    After a few minutes of humping, she says, I passed out. The next day, I found out as she explained laughing to my friends that I had missed the hole. You see she was sitting right above where the cushions come together on the couch. That explained the friction burns.
    Funny thing is I now have a furniture store. I love my work.
     
  2. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

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    wow...i hope u didnt get any couch STDs..
     
  3. Fractual_

    Fractual_ cosmos factory

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    hahahahha....
     
  4. kier

    kier I R Baboon

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    i love you, keep them coming :D

    i'll post a couple too :eek:
     
  5. Jetblack

    Jetblack Senior Member

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    ahaah i remember seeing this post on the old forums and fuking laughing so hard i started crying haha geart story man i wish my life was the amusing
     
  6. random_spontaneosity

    random_spontaneosity Member

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  7. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    From the old site (july 2003)-

    And- just last month, here in my furniture store, I have a tv and vcr for when my 2yr old or customers kids need to be entertained with a video. So my daughter could see her cousins when they were young, I popped in an old tape marked "Grandmom and kids 1993". After about 20 minutes of family, with my wife, daughter and some customers kids watching, the scene suddenly changed to me and a former girlfriend, Wendy L., butt nekked, doing the deed. I didn't even remember making the tape. (Wendy, if you read this, sorry.) On the tape you can hear Wendy say, "you better erase this." And me say,"I will". And I did too.
    Just all of it but the end apparently.
    _______________________________________________

    Almost a year later, my wife still gives me shit about that. She tells people, "god, that girl had the biggest bush I ever saw!" But it was actually shadow that she saw, mostly.

    I'm copying posts from the old thread and moving them here. I won't do it all at once so hopefully you will post some new ones in between the old.
     
  8. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    booshnoogs
    [​IMG]
    Howard Roark personified
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    From: Atlanta, Ga, USA
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    I have one similar to your sterno story. I used to do a trick where I would fill my mouth with the gas from a lighter, then light the lighter and blow a fireball. Once, when I was really drunk, I tried it and I set my face on fire. I burned off my nose hair, most of my eyebrows, and set the hair on my head on fire. (not for very long though).

    The best part is it was videotaped.
    __________________
    Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
    Posted: 11:24 AM
    July 28, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Aggiegirl
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    Life is strange!
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    LOL! These stories made my day. You guys are so crazy! [​IMG]

    This is embarassing. But, when I was 16, I went to Great America. It was a surprise birthday. I was wearing a dress with a black and white bikini. So, I went on the Revolution ride, where you hang backwards and my dress went up. Everyone could see my black and white bikini under a pink dress. I was so embarassed as I looked at the people on the ground just looking up giggling. I had bad fashion sense, not thinking straight. Argh!
    Posted: 11:46 AM
    July 28, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] MadMark
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    Make My Day?!
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    I have tons of crazy stories and all your stories cracked me up.LOL!

    When I was about ten years old, my best friends lived two house down from me. My friends had a mean grandfather who was bed ridden, but a foul mouthed, drunken old fart .

    When my friends mom and dad left all of us kids to watch the old man, he would yell, James get me a G.D beer! you worthless piece of shit?!

    I had enough of his being rude, so I said, hey guys lets all piss in the bottle, then give it to him?

    So we poured out some of the beer andfilled it back up with pee and gave it to the old man.

    We ran outside and climbed into our tree house as James took him the beer, in less than a minute james comes out of the house and the old man yelled at the top of his lunges, "You stupid little motherfucking sonofabitches!!!
    Yall pissed in my G.D beer!!

    We laughed so hard we nearly passed out. The good thing is, he never asked us to bring him another beer?
    Posted: 06:54 PM
    July 28, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Aggiegirl
    [​IMG]
    Life is strange!
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    LOL!

    About 5 years ago, I went to a casino. It was packed and there was line. I went into one of the stalls. I guess I did not close it shut because this woman storms in while I'm taking a piss and I saw this big hairy white ass in front of me. I screamed "oh, my God" and pushed her away and closed it shut. Funny thing is she said she was sorry. I just wrapped up, pulled up my pants and left. It was a scary sight. ALWAYS CLOSE THE DOOR!
     
  9. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    nonconformedgurl
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    HAHAHAHAHAH....LOL...Omg that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. LoL...sorry haha. Man can't stop laughing.....must stop...stomach hurts...lol! *sigh* silly kid.
     
  10. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    Good stories. They don't have to be just about you, you can bust out your friends and family too.

    In my early 20's I did a little stunt work in movies. One night at a party my friend Joel and I were asked to do a stunt. We were drunk and stoned, but foolishly couldn't resist the chance to impress the girls. We moved everyone outside to the yard, Joel and I briefly discussed between us what we were going to do and thought we both understood.
    Joel stood in the middle of the street, with the crowd watching. A few moments later I came speeding down the steet in my car.

    Now I believed the plan was he was going to dive out of the way "just in the nink of time". Joel, believed that the plan was for me to slightly swerve as he steps aside, barely missing him, with him slapping his hands on the hood and rolling back as if he were hit.

    Doing about 45 mph I hit him head on. We had eye contact just before "contact", and we knew we fucked up bad. He jumped up as I hit him, shins against the front bumper, I heard him bounce off my roof and saw him in the rear view mirror, fall to the ground. I slammed on the brakes, and ran back to him, motionless on the ground. The crowd, stood speachless.
    As I reached down to him he sat up, and I helped him to his feet. He turned to the crowd, and smiled and waved. Seeing he was ok they clapped and cheered. Under his breath he said to me, "get me to a hospital, you broke my fucking legs."
    Turned out only one was broken.
     
  11. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    onewayout
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    Peace & Love
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    Couches need the love too!
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    "The story of life is quicker than a wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye until we meet again" - Jimi Hendrix
    Posted: 09:28 PM
    July 28, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] nonconformedgurl
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    Dammit I still can get over the couch thing...its the most hilarious thing ever. Hah i even called a friend and read it to them...lol sorry but i will remeber that forever...haha!

    Sunnie
    [​IMG]
    Only Lovers Will be Left Alive
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    I once got stuck in my kitchen window.
    I used to forget my keys lots back in junior high, and one day after school I came home to an empty house with no keys. I was locked out.
    I figured I could climb through the kitchen window, my younger brother had done it before so I figured I could just as easily do it.
    I used the ladder for the trampoline to climb up to the ledge, I then pried off the screen and started to wiggled into the kitchen.
    The problem was, I was much too long for the window. My legs were too long to bring up over the ledge, and if I continued through head first...I would be breaking my fall with my face on cold linoleum floor. So I decided to abort the plan and climb back down.
    Only problem is, the ladder had fallen over. So there I was, the upper half of my body sticking through my kitchen window and my lower half dangling over the ledge.
    I eventually managed to get out, ended up with a couple of bruises and some scrapes.
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    Posted: 02:27 AM
    July 29, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] NaturesLittleGirl
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    Peace and Love
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    Ok, well, the most horrible thing happened to me!!! I was at a music festival or something like that, and I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. Of course, they only had port-a-loo's.
    I hate port-a-loo's because there's never any t paper and they always smell horrible.
    Well, I was busting, so I decided that just before I went in I'd take a huge gulp of air and just hold my breath the whole time I peed. Well, I got in there, pissed (hopefully in the right place, it was very dark...). So my lungs are dying for air now and I try to find the lock on the door to open it... and guess what happens... it's stuck! I'm like panicking now and i have to let out my breath. The smell hits me like an oncoming train and and I still can't get the door open. I'm suffocating man!
    So I end up pretty much slicing up my fingers, then flinging the door open so hard it flys back and his me in the head so that I'm almost knocked out! So I end up on the ground, panting for breath, big bruise forming on my forehead, infront of the lines of people all waiting to go to the bathroom!
    It was SO embarrassing!!!!
    ~Nature
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  12. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    Quote SunFree (July 29 '03)

    I DID THE EXACT SAME THING!!!! Well, there was no trampoline involved in my scenario, just a bench, but the rest is there. Somehow, I ended up standing in the kitchen sink.
    Here's another Stupid Kim story, as I call them: I was in my driveway with my sister, and for some reason "The Sound Of Music" was stuck in my head, so I started belting it out loud. My sister started singing along, and being the dorks we are, we started spinning in circles and everything for the full effect. Then my sister says to me, "dude, if you look up when you're spinnning around, the telephone wires look really trippy!!" Naturally I followed suit. They did indeed look extremely trippy, so much that I didn't notice where I was drifting, and suddenly, I tripped on a rock bordering our driveway, and was so dizzy I couldn't regain my balance before I toppled into the rosebushes. I then whacked my head onto the lightpost, causing the top to be knocked off and also fall on top of me. Now everytime someone asks me where I got the scars on my leg, that's what I get to tell them.
     
  13. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    freakwentflyer
    [​IMG]
    Log off and go do something!
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    My friend, Joel, (featured in the 'stunt' story) and I went to high school together. In school, the girls all thought he was "so cute". And he played it up. He would enter the cafateria slowly, and take his time sitting down so he'd be noticed by all.
    One morning (we were in a dorm school) he came in, grabbed a hot chocolate mix and hot water, came to our table (slowly)
    stood at the table, and set his cup down. Then slowly unbuttoned the first few top buttons of his jacket. But, remained standing as he mixed his hot chocolate, waiting to be sure the girls all noticed him.
    And they did. And confident that half the girls in the room
    had their eyes on him he casually sat down.
    The bottom button of his jacket caught the spoon in his steaming hot chocolate spilling it into his balls.
    He jumped up with a scream.
    Every guy in the place died laughing.






    __________________
    WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?
    Posted: 08:06 PM
    August 01, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] GoldenFlower
    [​IMG]
    "Go to bed"- My Mom.
    Status: Member
    From: In a field of pure bliss.
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    Ummm... My most embarrassing story? It's kinda nasty, and I'm a bit young to tell it, but whatever. It's way short too. Anyway, I was spending the night at a gal-pal's house and we started playing truth or dare. I always say dare, too many secrets of mine to say truth, anyway, what started out as just a little dirty game of truth or dare ended up as me losing my virginity to another girl. Whoopsy... Haven't told anyone but the peeps on this forum. Ok, thinking of another story...

    Ok, got one. One day, in the end of 4th hour, 5th for me was lunch, I had to take a major piss. So, I asked to be excused from class and ran to the bathroom, and when I got in there, it was empty. Well, I took a piss and when I went to put my pants back up... My button had broken. I couldn't close my pants. At my school I wasn't allowed to tie a jacket around my waist, and we have a uniform, so my shirt was tucked in. Well, at the end of the day, when the bell rang, I had managed to make it through the day without being spotted, I was kinda joggin to my bus because it's like the 2nd one, and on my way to the bus, my pants just come down, bundling around my ankles and I trip, face first into the concrete. And, the worst part, I was wearing a hot pink thong because my mom hadn't washed my underwear. I was so embarassed. I still haven't heard the end of it.
    __________________
    I know I may sound like a motivational speaker but, almost dieing made me truly see life. I hope that no one else has to almost die to see it. Everyday I realize, I could NOT be here right now. I wanna thank my friends for caring so much. [​IMG]
    Posted: 01:44 AM
    August 02, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] freakwentflyer
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    Log off and go do something!
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    Great story GoldenFlower! LOL [​IMG]

    ...I use to know a girl we called GoldenShower,... but no.. I won't go there.

    I have a few more stories for later when I get the time. Some more good ones about Joel and others too. Till then keep them coming.
    __________________
    WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?
    Posted: 10:26 AM
    August 02, 2003
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  14. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    scratcho
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    dumbass

    OK--I'll try one.Back in 1960,my buddy Richard and I got drunkern 2 sombitches and decided to crash at his place.We staggered and bumped our way down the hall to his room and successfully flopped into the single beds contained therein.About ten minutes after floppin',he puked all over himself and his bed.I was layin' there with one foot on the floor tryin'to keep the room from spinning out of control and attempting to ignore the awful stench consuming the place.I was thinking-"oh god --I gotta shit--oh god---I gotta puke--oh --god I gotta get up".I vaguely remembered his parents were in bed at the other end of the hall and knew I had to try to be quiet getting to the shitter.I don't know how in the hell I got there--but I did--- alternately puking and crapping,I felt likeI was doing handstands.I sort of remember thinking that some dirty bastard had snuk up on me and shit in my mouth--what a godawful taste in my mouth--so I grabbed a toothbrush--I didn"t care who it belonged to ,an squeezed what I thought was toothpaste on it and tried to brush.Motherfucker!It was Burma shave or some kind of soapy shit.I immediately spat the shit out all over the bathroom mirror .The next thing I remember was several people trying to pull covers off me and telling me to please get out of their bed.I had taken a wrong turn out of the bathroom and gotten in bed with his parents! We laughed about it years later,but for a while I was persona non grata around there. scratcho
    Posted: 12:28 PM
    August 02, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] freakwentflyer
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    Log off and go do something!
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    Great story Sratcho! LOL

    A friend of mine, Ryan, had a simular situation.

    After a night on the town, a girl/friend of his took him to her aunt and uncles place on the beach where she was staying for the week. The aunt and uncle and their two kids were asleep when they got there. Ryan crashed on the couch. Later he got up to piss but ended up in a bed.
    Ryan had long blonde hair. The two kids, a boy and girl both had long blonde hair. When the aunt and uncle awoke, the aunt began stroking the head of one of the kids that climbed in bed with them through the night. But, of course, it was Ryan. When he lifted his head up, she saw him and screamed. The uncle, woke and screamed, Ryan screamed as he jumped for the door with the uncle chasing him with a lamp.

    Ryan got away. They all laughed about it later over oysters and beer.

    Several years later, Ryan feel asleep, drunk driving and almost died. Lost one eye and crippled his hips.

    Two years after that, he was riding another friend of mines
    jet ski and ran into a boat, breaking both of his legs. Totalled the ski.

    Six months later, at my wedding reception, Ryan's girlfriend ditched him for the guy with the jet ski.
    __________________
    WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?
    Posted: 06:18 PM
    August 02, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] fountains_of_nay
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    ¿whatthehellhavei?
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    ROFL

    that was a damn cromulent story! [​IMG]
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    The band (Alice in Chains) used to have a strict policy of dating only girls who worked in fast food restaurants so that they could eat for free
    Posted: 08:08 AM
    August 03, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] TheGoat
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    Driven only by my hatred
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    The video tape thing reminded me of some old friends of mine. They made a tape of themselves on somebody else's video camera and forgot to erase it. Well he video taped something and was showing it at a party of about 15 of the couples friends, and apparantly he didn't record long enough because the entire party saw my friends home-made porno. The best part is, right before the camera cut off and went to static the last thing that was heard was "Don't worry, maybe it'll look bigger on Tv."
    __________________
     
  15. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    scratcho
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    dumbass again

    Great stories Freakwentflyer,Goat and all---hell,I've done dumb -ass shit as long as I can remember--here's another you might enjoy.In "59 or thereabouts,one night I was going to a dance in town and I was duded up in a brand new Pendelton shirt(man --they are beautiful and spendy--still are,I guess).Anyway,I was in a hurry and had to take (or preferably leave)a shit,so I whipped my car into a gas station,went in the crapper and began to proceed.Things were proceeding nicely--me ensconced on the throne,suckin' on a cig,when my buddies reminded me,by pounding on the door,that we were in a hurry.Jolted out of my reverie,I grabbed a handful of shit paper and took care of business.LO and behold and Dirty son of a bitch,I wiped my ass on my fine Pendelton shirt!I was so mad I ripped it off,buttons flying,and flung it in the trash can,knocking the cig out of my face at the same time.I cleaned up,left for the dance ,determined to have a good time,despite another dumbass trick.About an hour later,a friend came into the dance and said "hey man,did you hear about the fire at the Richfield station?Some dumbass threw a fucken cigarette in the trash"My brain immediately said "shut the fuck up" to its self and having an aversion to possible confinment,it obeyed.The only thing it would allow me to say was"You know ,there's way too many dumb-asses running around these days"You know Freakwent--I have never had the opportunity to fuck a fine piece of furniture,you lucky dog,but neither have I ever had another Pendelton shirt! Regards-----scratcho
     
  16. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    freakwentflyer
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    Alright Sratcho, [​IMG]

    Great one. LOL
    You must have been one wild ass youngster,- puking, shittin', burnin' shit down. I accidently burnt a house down in 8th grade, but not a very funny story.

    Keep 'em coming! I know Sratcho's got one or two more comin' up.

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    WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?
    Posted: 08:31 PM
    August 04, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Fenris
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    My brother used to sleepwalk. One night he walked to the end of the hallway, and pissed all over my Mother's book bag.

    One year, me and two of my cousins were doing our own rendition of the "I'm too sexy" song, and stripping down to our boxers in front of an audience. When it was over, I gracefully exited the stage by stepping in a bucket and nearly falling [​IMG]

    In the dead of winter, I was walking across a field of snow. I spotted one of my friends. He spotted me as well and flipped me the bird. Well, I couldn't let that slip, so I lifted both my arms into the air so I could top him with two birdies. At the same time, a gust of wind caught my rediculously large winter coat and picked me up off my feet and into the air. I ended up landing on my back laughing.

    Another time I was watching my friends play chicken on GT Snowracers. They wanted to see who could get closest to the river without going in (Now there's a brilliant idea!). One of them flew right into the river. He makes his own way out of the river, forgetting about his snowracer. After getting out, he jumped right back in again to retrieve it.

    That's all the stories I can think of for now [​IMG]
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  17. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    InfiniteCharlie
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    Many an embarrassing moment for me... heres a few

    Ok I was at a funeral when I was younger and it was mid May, and I was wearing a black buttonup dress. I went to pick lilacs for my aunts who were all gathered outside with the rest of my family, I started running with the flowers towards my family when my whole dress flew open in front of everyone

    Another time I was trying to impress my older sister's friend, Garrett telling him I could do some really sweet tricks on the trampoline. So, I go to land a front flip (which I normally do fine) end up landing right on the edge of the trampoline go flying off it with loss of balance right into a lawn chair that ends of flopping over and me ending up rolling halfway across the yard...Garrett: "Ughh, are you ok" not too impressive

    Another time me and my friend decided to get drunk at her boyfriends with some of his friends..his parents were home but they were upatair and we were in the cellar. We were taking shots of vodka and some green apple shnapps crap, and I was fucking wasted. We go upstairs and sit in the living room, all the whill I'm sitting there breathing in and out trying not puke, I end up running to the kitchen trying to get to the sink but puke all over the floor and the shelves, on the phone, and the counter...then after that in the sink. His mom hears this comes running down freaking out, and nearly steps in my own puke
    __________________
    "But then one day, I met a man who came to me and said, hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
    Posted: 11:44 PM
    August 04, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] scratcho
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    Posts: 281
    dumbass onece mo

    Thanks frequent--oh yeah --I was a wild one alright--quit drinking at 28 for 20 years or so when I was coerced (well --maybe not)into taking some window pane in hawaii--which of course led to the million stories I have about all of that.Anyway here's another couple of goofy things I accomplished.I've always been a girl watcher-(who isn't)-still am --nothing like a beautiful girl.One time I saw two lovlies across the street from me,going the opposite direction and of course I put on a big dumbass grin,watching them look back at me and--- BONG--damn--- there I was ,looking up at the sky,ears ringing,a fucken knot on my cranium the size of the proverbial golf ball.Lesson learned:never butt heads with a metal light pole!Next thing I heard was what sounded like a couple of jackasses braying from across the street.Then there was the time I was just about to get in my car(4 door "40 plymouth)when this lovely and I made eye contact and both liked it.I kept looking at her as I grabbed the door handle and got in---oh god dammit---I had gotten in the back seat!She was still looking at me,so being 16 at the time,I sure as hell did'nt want to look like the dumbass that I was,so I started acting like I was looking for something back there"till she left.Ain"t life grand?-regards-----scratcho
    Posted: 05:11 PM
    August 05, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  18. Willow-Bridget-Love

    Willow-Bridget-Love Member

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    yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you! i really do! wow.. i ve missed all those stories! and i was soo sad when i lost them all!!! yay! dude! thankyou!! yay!
     
  19. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    freakwentflyer
    [​IMG]
    Log off and go do something!
    Status: Member
    From: Floridabama
    Age: 46
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 686
    Cool! Good ones.

    FENRIS,
    My cousin, Mike Bumbulski, walked in his sleep as a kid. One night his mom caught him standing in front of the open fridge, he must of been hungry. He also must have had to go to the bathroom because he was pissing in the fridge.
    INFINITE CHARLIE,
    Thanks for "exposing" yourself like that. In high school I did the whole first act of a play with my zipper to my big baggey 40's style pants wide open. No underwear.
    That same play, Inherit The Wind, I had a line,"it takes a pretty smart fella to say I don't know the answer". On the final dress rehersal, I said, "it takes a pretty fart smeller to say...." fortunately, I got it right with the audiances.

    SCRATCHO,
    What can I say, you crack me up. I wish I had a dollar for every time I got drunk and made an ass of myself trying to impress the ladies.


    __________________
    WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?
    Posted: 11:32 AM
    August 07, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] SqueeNess
    [​IMG]
    The Mommy
    Status: Guest
    From: buffalo, ny, usa
    Age: 18
    Gender: Female
    Posts: 17
    this one isnt so much about me, but i was involved.

    the guy i was with took me to a party where i didnt really know anyone. well, we drank and smoked quite a bit, and went to sit by the bonfire pile. he sat next to me and asked if i wanted to go in the woods for a romp... of course i did!

    so yea, we head into the woods (note: it had rained all week) and stripped... only to lay down in some pretty damn gushy ground. ok, i could deal, it was just mud, no big.
    until ian, who was too drunk and high to know which was was up, claimed to be having sex with me... when in reality.. he was fucking the mud....

    anyhow, we broke up, and somehow the topic got brought up, and i spilled to our friends. he came back to where we were hanging out, and every joke made had to do with mud, til the point when it reached talking about fucking mud, whereupon ian stands up and screams "i fuck mud! i stick it in the mud!" and we're all thinking... yes... yes you do. he hadn't remembered the entire incident! it remained a huge inside joke for our group that he was totally outside of but still pretended to understand and join in, which made it even funnier.

    the guilt killed me, and i told him what it was about. he hasnt talked to me in a month. lol. but he still thinks its hilarious, he tells all the guys so.

    __________________
    acts like a guy, but looks like a girl
    Posted: 01:12 AM
    August 08, 2003
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] freakwentflyer
    [​IMG]
    Log off and go do something!
    Status: Member
    From: Floridabama
    Age: 46
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 686
    Alright SqueeNess, [​IMG]

    So now I don't feel so stupid. I fucked a couch, your friend fucks mud, surely there has to be all kinds of fuckers out there.
    I have to leave for a week. Taking my wife on our long over due honeymoon, to the Bahamas. When I get back I hope to find more "super fuck up" stories. I have a few more myself to add later.
    Take care. On second thought, don't take care, you may be able to create a new story.


    __________________
     
  20. freakwentflyer

    freakwentflyer Member

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    I hope sticking in all these oldies in here isn't too confusing or against the rules.
    And I'll eventually (hopefully) get all that's still on the old site, on here. But, I also hope we get some more new good stories. Got any?
     

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