I <3 My Marriage=Domestic Abuse?

March 16th-
A Tampa Bay, FL area man was arrested for choking his wife. Bradley Gellert, a 32-year old financial consultant was booked into jail on a felony domestic battery by strangulation charge. According to a police report, he got into an argument with his wife and screamed at her and threw numerous items. He then grabbed her neck and choked her.

The I *heart* My Marriage shirt was a promotional item tied to the 2008 movie "Fireproof". A Kirk Cameron Christian themed film. The movie was a hit among evangelical circles.

 

I'll bet I know what all his friends are saying: "I just don't believe it! He's such a great guy. Couldn't imagine him doing such a thing. She must have done something to provoke this...."
Fucking typical white trash story. Hope he gets shanked in prison.

 

ugh, people are fucking retarded, the end.
that is all i need to say to explain every other situation on this earth and everyone here knows that's nothing but the truth. i'm just saying it.
stupid people and the lack of communication and understanding between human beings are why we are where we are as a whole fucking world.

 

That's fucked up, but the irony of the shirt is just hilarious. Wtf?

 

His marriage was great, it was his wife's marriage that sucked. I hope she's okay.

 

Did the wife provoke the incident? How can any of you assume that she is totally innocent unless you were there? Typical misinformed responses. Food for thought.

 

the looser couldn't handle his wife's success and independence.

 

Meh...there are assholes across the board. Yes, it's ironic, but it doesn't really show anything significant.

 

"Did the wife provoke the incident? How can any of you assume that she is totally innocent unless you were there? Typical misinformed responses. Food for thought."

Did she provoke getting choked??

Typical abuser response that is....

 

"Provoke the incident"????

You're saying it's her own fault that this man attacked her and could have killed her????

Do you also think women who are raped "asked for it"? How about if you get mugged at the ATM? Did you "provoke" it by flaunting money in public?

Assaulting a human being with the intent to cause serious bodily harm is a very serious crime. It does not matter what the "provocation" was. It does not matter what a woman was wearing, or what she said, or what you happen to think of her. If you assault someone, you go to jail.

 

Wow.
Awesome how you will fill in the blanks with assumptions that further your apparent perception that almost all men are horrible violent assholes.
No, the choking is almost certainly not justified. But everyone here automatically assumes that this woman was completely innocent, some kind of saint who this guy just randomly decided to choke because he is evil or something. The circumstances surrounding the incident were not described.

How do we know this chick didn't cheat on him, leech thousands from his bank account to support that extramarital relationship or just buy some knick knacks for her own pleasure
, kick him in the nuts for confronting her about it, etc, etc. We don't. So don't pretend you do.

This guy probably is an asshole. He likely didn't have a terribly significant reason for choking the girl. But we just don't know that for sure. So don't fucking accuse somebody of being an abuser because they thought things through where you refused to.

Again, unless she physically abused him first or something, there is no way what he did was justified - but that doesn't mean that the girl is automatically innocent of any and all wrongdoing, just because she was a victim, and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean somebody is an abuser themselves because they recognize this fact.

Quit thinking with your gut. Start using your brain. You have it for a reason.

 

So, exactly where do you draw the line as to what is an acceptable provocation to choking your spouse?

 

First of all, this person IS an abuser. He abused his wife. Was sent to jail for it. Therefore, the LAW says he did something wrong. He was booked on a felony domestic battery charge!

Secondly, if you read the post you would have seen that I didn't have any opinions in it. It was facts straight from a news article.

Last, it is NEVER OKAY to abuse your spouse. And you say this person "thought things through"? If that is the case which it isn't, that makes it worse. That would mean it wasn't a heat of the moment action, it was planned. There is NEVER a significant reason for choking your spouse. The end.

P.S. I don't believe that all men are violent assholes. It's typical of you to assume that because I'm a feminist I hate men. My closest friends are men.

 

Rape? Completely different situation that has nothing to do with this one. Why did you even bring it up? Atm mugging? Has nothing to do with this. Do you have a valid argument or are you just going to try and put words in my mouth? If you push someone too far, they will bite. Women (and men for that matter) do this to each other. If she wouldn't leave him alone so he could calm down, she brought it on herself is all I'm saying. But, none of us were there so the thread really is moot.

 

Emotional abuse included? You weren't there, neither wa the person who wrote the article. There are three sides to this story. His side, her side and what really happened.

 

No no no, you misunderstood me. Of course the guy in the shirt is an abuser. I'm referring to the person who replied to somebody else mentioning the possibility that the girl wasn't entirely innocent herself by saying "typical abuser response" or something to that effect. I was just a tad but put off by the fact that somebody who considered the possibility that the girl might not have been completely innocent was immediately attacked and labeled an abuser.

 

That would be me you are referring to then.

At no point in time did I comment in any way about the woman's 'innocence or guilt', because it doesn't matter what she did, trying to choke her or beating her is the wrong response, period.

If a persons spouse (regardless of gender) hits them or abuses them, or 'gets in their face' and won't calm down or whatever, it definitely puts them in the wrong in terms of how they should be acting towards their spouse.

It in no way means it is okay for their spouse to react back with violence or abuse.

If a person thinks there is any justification for abuse, such as choking, towards their spouse, then yes, they are an abuser.

Two wrongs don't make a right... seems sad that I should have to mention such well known thing.

 

I agree.

 

just had to quote the whole thing eh? lol

 

The tone of the threat up until that guy's post was one of utter hatred for the man and complete sympathy for the girl. As though because she was a victim of domestic abuse she couldn't possibly have been capable of any wrongdoing herself.

ChronicTom, you're dodging the point. You're putting words in the poster's mouth.

This guy never said that anything was "justification for abuse." He just noticed that everyone was assuming (and without any evidence) that the girl was totally innocent. He noticed that the story was given from a particular perspective which left no room for the man's own experience or interpretation of the story.

"If a persons spouse (regardless of gender) hits them or abuses them, or 'gets in their face' and won't calm down or whatever, it definitely puts them in the wrong in terms of how they should be acting towards their spouse."

How do you know she did none of these things herself? Perhaps in the heat of the argument she hit him first? Its not likely but its certainly not impossible.

I'm gonna suggest that she has been presumed totally innocent because she is a woman and a victim of domestic abuse. Its a common fallacy. If a man goes to the police station and reports being beaten by his wife the cops will probably laugh him back out of the station.

Lets say I'm walking down the street with a girl and some dude runs up and says to her "Bitch, get on your knees and suck muh dick!" and I respond by breaking his nose. Something tells me you wouldn't be nearly as sympathetic for the victim of violence in this case.