I’m outwardly straight, but want casual sex with males who also like girls. Best way to ask?

I’m really bad at picking up on the vibe. I think there have been times dudes may have been feeling me out for a casual encounter but can’t tell. I would prefer to mess around with another dude who liked chicks but wants to get off with me. What’s your advice?

 

I know how you feel, several times I wanted to ask as the conversation was nearing an appropriate time but I could never bring myself to ask for fear of getting punched in the mouth.

 

Yeah, I have no point of reference in hitting on dudes....as I’ve spent my life chasing females. Yesterday I was chatting with a dude in a bar and thinking maybe??? I wasn’t really into him which is usually the problem. I only want that dick.

 

I also think I would be turned off if a dude hit on me (at first) and then I would probably start to think about it, and within a few minutes I’d probably be down

 

About 10 years ago I was having a few pints at a local pub having good conversation with a guy for about an hour. He was hitting on me for sure as I never answered but did toss a smile his way. He eventually just asked me if he could suck my dick. I smiled at him and replied "Really?"...He was wearing a wedding band as I was too and said "Hey, lots of guys suck dick"...I replied "Today is your lucky day as long as I can suck yours too". We ended up at his house sucking each other off. We were suck buds for about 8 months. He just openly hit on me which was something I could never do but was certainly glad he did.

 

That’s awesome. I mean you gotta be careful out there too. I think I’m infatuated with the idea of getting off with people who just want to get off. What ended the suck bud hookup?

 

He went through a divorce and decided to relocate to the west coast. Was a real bummer, he had a fabulous cock.

 

I traveled for 15 years and generally had a beer at the hotel bar after work. A guy on the next stool started a conversation. After awhile he asked what I thought of a young man who entered the bar. I replied that he was handsome, to which the man I was talking to said he expected the newcomer had a nice cock and would like to suck it. That led to us going to my room where we took turns sucking each other's cocks.

I sometimes used that gambit with men I found attractive. I never got punched out I did suck quite a few cocks.

 

That’s impressive. That’s where I am disadvantaged. I don’t think men are handsome. I’m just a horny asshole that enjoys to feel good and I don’t care how. The funny part is that I’m not too aggressive about it. I don’t want to waste my youth...it makes me sad.

 

As a young man, I looked at other men as possible role models. How did seemingly successful men dress, how well were they groomed, how did they react to others in social settings. Through that observation I learned what women of the era (1960s) found attractive, or handsome; men such as Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Clark Gable. So I imitated them to attract the ladies. I had no interest in the men sexually.

After discovering my bisexuality in midlife, I used that standard of attractiveness as a guide to what might be in a man's pants. If he dressed well, looked clean and appeared friendly, he might have a nice cock. Often a friendly smile is enough to start a conversation. Then you go where the conversation leads.

You won't likely find someone who just wants to get off that way. However, you might find a straight man who is open to having another man suck his cock. If you don't have the patience for that, there are other options. Join a male hookup site post that you are eager to suck cocks. For quick gratification you can't beat an adult book store with gloryholes. Drop in your tokens, put a finger trough the hole and suck whatever comes through. Or go to an all-male spa and ask to suck as many cocks as you can.

 

I use to go to adult stores in Vegas years ago and that worked great but living in Ark. we don't have them here

 

I have been to Arkansas. You are right, there is nothing there.

I moved recently from a city where there were several adult book stores nearby to a town where the closest one is 30 miles away.

 

Do you worry at all about the random skeeves that come in for anonymous sex in the book stores?

 

Yes, i did. That's one reason i stopped going. I always gave the cock a good look over before sucking it. And turned down a few that didn't look right or were not clean. After I learned the rules of the game I would usually size up someone in the hall and we would to to a booth where he would feed the slot coins while I sucked his cock.

 

That's what keeps me from trying something like that, too risky for me...

 

I'm a single, bi, straight-acting guy. All my sexual encounters with other guys has come from either me going to sex venues like bookstores/video arcades, porn theaters, gay bathhouses, gay sex clubs, the back room of gay bars, a gay orgy club, etc., or hooking up with a guy through a gay or bisexual online hook-up site. So all of it was sexual from the get go. But even though I've never been attracted to a guy in a regular setting, fully clothed, I think I would like to have something organic happen in the way this thread is talking about. I especially think this as I'm trying to accept my sexuality more, trying to be more open and honest about my gay feelings. At the very least it would be very very different for me to just be straight in the straight world, and connect with another guy in the way that people are describing here. It would just be so natural, as opposed to the brute force method of sexual hook-ups. We're just two straight, bicurious, or bisexual guys, horny, horny for cock, have a bit of attraction to each other, and somehow manage through conversation and other cues to go somewhere private together, take our clothes off, and have sex.

I haven't gone to bars in a really long time because I stopped drinking 24 years ago, though I suppose I could go to a bar and have a ginger ale, and just hang out. But that seems a little more forced. What other situations are there in the regular straight world where two guys can hook up in this organic way? I suppose there is the gym, sort of. I have had a couple encounters in the showers at the gym: one was with another guy and me staring at each other's growing cocks while we were showering in an open, many-shower-head shower, discreetly at first, and then obviously, and then hooking up afterwards; and another guy just recently in a different gym, when I was really horny for men, keeping the curtain in my shower stall slightly open, and stroking my hard cock to see if I catch anyone's attention, and I did (though we never hooked up). But this is still where we're starting out naked. Where else can the natural way of meeting another guy happen?

Maybe I just have to lose my fear a little bit, fear of exposing myself as bi or gay, in the straight world, and risking what others think of me. Who cares?! Maybe if I just change my attitude, and lose some of the fear and inhibitions, and take risks a little bit more, the situation will just present itself, naturally?

 

Yes, once you accept who you are you become liberated. I had man sex for many years during my first marriage of 25 years without her knowledge. I totally enjoy sex with men and women as both provide (IMO) equal pleasure. My present wife (6 years) is also bisexual so hiding our sexual desires from our partner is no longer an issue. We have a bisexual couple we share our bed with and it's so liberating for both of us to be able to enjoy and many times share our bisexuality with each other. It's bonded our marriage closer as neither of us are hiding it.

 

I did that for a long time well from 80 t0 85 but drugs and alcohol were involved for the most part now I just think about it

 

Slayer, I felt so guilty after sucking my first cock I couldn't get out of the bookstore fast enough in case someone realized what I had done. After about a month of vowing I would never do it again, my desire to have a cock in my mouth brought me back to the glory holes. It was a few years of sucking cocks before i felt comfortable with my sexuality. I a not out and never intend to be but I am comfortable walking into a gay bar, bath house or bookstore. I have found the men are there for the sex and easy to talk to.

 

I get you....I’m also married and my wife wouldn’t condone me acting out on these behaviors. But they are still there...and I wonder how much of my sex life I am missing out on.