A few years ago I experienced the sage sacrament for the first time and dosed high enough to live for an eternity in a Salvidor Dali painting for what amounted to 30 mins in our time. While shocked & awed by the experience, I would use salvia as part of my enlightenment between 3-5 times a day, off and on over the next 1½ years for literally dozens of times. My previous experience with psychedelics was 0. The experiences were intense to say the least. Shocking would be an understatement. I always used the sacrament with respect and tried to learn from the experiences. Time after time I would endure the unpleasant experience of going through the "meat grinder" as I so lovingly called the kalidescope. Then I experienced mescaline, and after that psilocybine. I have been full-tilt, mind-warped, ego-loss that lasted hours. Even now, I still learn from them like I just did them yesterday. I thought I should try salvia again. Over 1½ years ago I bought some 5x and 10x from a reputable vender, gave the 5x a taste and... ffffffffffffukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! It scared the sheet out of me. And not in a good way either. I don't know why, but salvia has put a fear on me that I cannot shake off. I just found my salvia stash which I hid several months ago and broke out into sweats just holding the bag. I would like to use her to open my mind and learn from her again, but she really seems pissed at me for some reason. Or maybe its me. Maybe it me putting the Fear on me. I don't know, but I sure would like some help. She's lying there next to me sleeping, but I don't dare wake her. :leaving: Oddly enough, if I had time to work with shrooms or cactus I don't feel nervous at all. Any suggestions about how to overcome the Fear???
3 to five times A DAY?? SHIT!! That's pretty intense, I use salvia at most, once every couple weeks. As for overcoming the fear, all I can suggest is remembering some of your more pleasant trips while taking the salvia. Best of luck to ya man!
if i'm somewhat affected by salvia but not fully tripping i'm more eager to go deeper than scared of it... so maybe mix it with something else that won't kill you if you smoke it, so it's more subtle, or don't hold it in as long...
Dude. You haven't taken it in a while. You prolly just need to lower the dose. Be satisified with a mild experience at first to get used to what its like again. Then Work your way up to stronger experiences. That one crazy state that scared you is causing fear of her. Gotta break that thought in your head. Prove to yourself your not scared. But don't go apeshit just slowly work up there and see for yourself that its not scary.
no need for fear or for any superstitious concepts. after your very good High speed transitions, you luxuriated in slow speed trajectories with cactus and mushroom. the slow speed experiences easily become self indulgent, there are so many opportunities to replay the resonant stack of moments, thereby forming a memory of a linear wormhole journey through time that is ego gratifying. with salvia there are ZERO EDITS. you cant change your memory of what happens - and if you take too much you forget what did occur. No external entity is going to bang you on the head for your inconsistencies. it is all you. so just expect NO EDITS and get stacked into the ongoing moment -reverberating, if you feel like a 10 minute reaquaintance. it's just gonna be you and the universe, and you are both old friends already.
Thank you brothers for your thoughts. I've read and re-read them several times allowing the suggestions to guide me to answer my question: What am I afraid of? Here's what I've come to. (note: as I'm writing, Inagada Divita just started playing on the radio. Cool.) First, I don't believe in bad trips. The only difference between a 'good' one and a 'bad' ones is your attitude towards the trip and what it is trying to teach you. As brother redgreen suggested (btw I like the name!) salvia's transistion into egoloss is at warp-speed compared to the rocket rides of cacti & fungi. She does not allow for any adjustments. The problem is that sometimes my ego is sticky and I start oscillating between realities as fast as electrons rotate around their nucleus, which becomes frightning or terrifying if you can't let go of your base reality. One thing that has been more and more bothersome is that with sally I have frequently found myself at the edge of reality. The place where reality ends and there is nothing behind me. I've been there with both cacti & fungi, but I was able to cross the abyss. Sally just puts me there and leaves me. Finally, I had experienced HPPD's (Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder) weeks or months after salvia. Never had that with fungi or cacti, though it has been triggered by both and even THC. But it has always been uniquely a salvia experience brought back from latent memories. Once after one hit of pot, several months after salvia, I was aware that reality is only as deep as the surface of water and behind me was the eternal abyss. Now, you might ask, why would you want to smoke sally again? Well, three years ago I left the USA and moved to a land where bottled beer is cheaper than bottled water. Sense not makes that. I didn't drink before I came here, but now alcohol has it's evil claws in me and now I just want to stop. I know sally (or other psychedelics) could help, but I became a daddy this year and I don't have time for even a 4 hour trip. So, sally seems the best option since I've probably had between 50 - 100 trips with her. But the last time I smoked I put just 10 tiny flakes of 10x over some cannabis and smoked it in daylight, and.... reality was...:hysterica well I guess I've become hypersensitive. Anyway, gotta get over the fear first. It's on the level of playing Russian Rouhlette with only one open chamber. No! It's more like knowning that you're going to the dentist to get all of your teeth needlessly drilled without novocain. That's what the fear is like.
After using salvia a few times a week for a few months I got the Fear and had to quit for about 4-5 monthg I think. One day my friend was hanging out and some how he talked me in to trying it again and I had such a good time that I did it proabably 3 more times that night. Since then I've just had far more respect for salvia and the relationship is fairly personal. If she's mad, you need to go back with an open mind and find out why. You have to remember that in the end it is benefitting you and you should become a better person. -Mike
really those slow helicopter cactus and mushroom abyss jumps are not abyss jumps. they are edits getting acclimated to the existence of such an edge requires a gentle aggreement with yourself that the abyss is ok. look look look don't leap
Wow dude, that's alot (3-5 times a day)! I used it once a day for a week and off and on the weeks after that! But that is intense! You've probably had many spiritual breakthroughs from using it that much! I love salvia!
I've taken much time to think about this and I think the best way for me to learn anything new from sally is to use a quid. To me this means that I should get a live salvia plant, plant it, then quid some of the fresh green leaves instead of trying to smoke any extract. This may take some time as my former supplier (iamshaman.com) is being monitered by the Feds, and I need to find a new one. Any suggestions on suppliers?
