Hubby's "forgetting" protection?

I think I have to stop having sex with my husband. This is seriously going to suck. I really liked the sex.

But he's started "forgetting" about condoms, and I'm off of chemical BC for health reasons. I've been charting my basal temps and prepping to use natural family planning, but it won't work until I've ovulated at least once and we're still waiting for that (going on 5 months now... ah, biology...). I try to remind him, then he agrees that we need a condom and either just keeps going unwrapped or removes it after a few minutes complaining that he can't feel anything. We're stuck on the withdrawal method now.

Really, I was comfortable thinking about kids and was only using condoms because for a couple of months there he wouldn't so much as kiss me without one on hand, but we've been having some issues and I'm rethinking being biologically tied to him. He's been kind of a dick to me, and has been neglecting everything and everyone that he claims is so important to him. It's been bad enough that I've been discussing the idea of leaving for a short while with a girlfriend. He doesn't know that part, but he knows that I think our marriage is in trouble. When I bring our problems up he asks me that if I have PMS does this mean my cycles are back to normal? Yeah, that's the tone of the relationship right now. I think that a few weeks without each other might help, though.

Yesterday, I only thought it was ironic that someone who panics that he's "going to have to drop out of college and get a job because of this!" every time I MIGHT be pregnant would ignore protection, but this morning it seems a little more serious. I don't care for them either, but my requests being worse than ignored combined with the other shit that's been going down is kind of concerning now.

Yeah. No more sex for either of us for a while, I guess. I really don't want the marriage to end, but this may be where it's going if things don't get better. Things always get tense this close to the Spring Finals, but I think after those I may move in with the girlfriend for a few weeks to think about things.

 

you know theres other type of BC besides pills, right?

 

It's weird that he has stopped using condoms and then is saying "i may have to drop out of college" when you have a pregnancy scare. Maybe he hopes to get you pregnant so he can have an excuse to drop out? Just a thought.

 

vag condom.

 

None available to me right now. I've been over the options with my doctor. The only alternative is spermicidal foam or something like that, and I can't see that being accepted either.

I'm just frustrated. I really think I'm going to be celibate for a while, until he gets the idea that my condom requests are serious. Maybe he'll start taking me seriously in general. The phrase "taken for granted" doesn't even cover our marriage right now.

He did the same thing with his previous girlfriend, openly acknowledging that he was being irresponsible with his bits then continuing on sans protection. When she refused sex and complained he wrote it all up as her personal religious issues that needed overcoming. It ended with their breakup over the matter, since they both knew that he couldn't help her if she got knocked up and she would be a single broke mom.

And etherea, he loves his field of study too much for that. Guess what I'm ignored in favor of most of the time.

 

Well I hope you work it out. Worse comes to worse you roll your marble and he'll thrash his dangler until you figure it out.

 

You're showing real wisdom and common sense. Don't let him in without one! Explain that it's serious, then outright refuse unless he'll wear one. If he wont get the message or at least discuss it with you, I'm afraid it may be a lost cause Sorry to hear you're in this situation. Make sure he definitely knows your stance. He may not be thinking it through as far as "baby", he may just dislike them and be shortsighted. Stand your ground.

 

You haven't ovulated in going on five months now? What does your doctor have to say about that?

 

Your husband isn't forgetting to put on a condom...

I know that's not very helpful, but it's the truth.

If he isn't mature enough to respect yours and his situation, just quit fucking him. He'll learn pretty quick. Or just don't have sex without a condom...

 

If you stay in this relationship, you deserve everything you get.

He is not respecting you, and risking getting you pregnant against your will.

What would you tell a girlfriend if their man was doing that?

 

I would be beyond pissed if I were you. You are saying no and he is saying so what. It is YOUR body, not his, and if you don't want to carry around the bulltet because he wanted to play Russian roulette, you absolutely should not have to. Take the control back and tell him to eff off until he grows up. He is blatantly disrespecting your body and your reproductive choice by putting you at risk like that. You say you don't want to break up the marriage over it, but it seems to me he's already broken his promise to honor you as it says in the vows...

 

You don't want to end up with one of these threads.

 

tell him if he doesn't wear a condom he doesn't get any action.

for christs sake stand up for yourself. Just because you're married doesn't mean this, shitheaded, stunt is ok.

 

^^^This.^^^

 

freeze some sperm and snip snip.