How would a transgender affect your relationship?

What if you were really attracted to a guy; a nice, sweet, handsome and funny guy. And then one day, he let you know that he wasn't ALWAYS a guy.

Gay men: Would you still be attracted to this guy, even if you found out that he was once a woman?

Girls: Same thing.

This will count for FtM and MtF 8D

I'm just generally curious; I know having an open mind is important, but honesty is a shoe-in for a good relationship. Transgenders are becoming more and more abundant and you'll never know when you cross one! Would you be prepared?

 

As open minded as I can be, I would not be prepared, nor would I want to stay with that person. First of all, they should have told me from the very begining, and second of all I believe you were born the sex you are for a reason and something like that should not be changed. But thats just me.

 

this isn't strictly true, we are just living in a world where transexuals and transgendered people can be more open than they could have been even ten years ago, (I say that, there are some parts of the world where transexuals can't be open at all) but that doesn't mean there are more than there used to be, its just more widely known and beginning to be more accepted, but as you may see from some of the replys this thread will get, there is still a long way to go.
Ideally I think that if people that have had the surgery and so are now the sex they wish to be, if they can still keep some aspects of the sex that their physical body used to be, that person could end up being really well balanced.
what I mean by this, is if someone is F to M then if they can still keep some attributes of being Female, I.E being gentle and not aggresive, then this would actually be a very acttractive option for me.
Now I am only sexually attracted to men not women at all, however some of my closet friends have been and are female, so providing the F to M transexual (which it would be in my case) is male (and there is more to being male than whats between someones legs and the clothes they wear) that would be fine, unfortuantly some transexuals are very convincing others are not.
Also I am very open minded when it comes to sexuality and sex/gender, so if I had been dating someone for say 4 or 5 months before they tell me, I would think that they didn't know me well at all, if they didn't know me enough to realise that it wouldn't be a problem, so when the person choses to tell me would be important, perhaps not in the first night but if they want a serious relationship then the sooner the better, but its kinda in league of someone saying 'i'm married but i'm going to get a divorce' 'i have children' for example
S

 

I'm pretty sure I would never go for a transgendered person. I feel like the features I look for in a man wouldn't be found with a transgendered person. There are always exceptions, however, I don't think it would happen.

With that said, If it did happen, I would end the relationship.

 

I really don't understand how people can say they would end the relationship, if you had developed feelings or love for that person, quite frankly it seems shallow and very unforgiving
S

 

But Sam, say I was living as a man, and we were dating and getting serious. But I still had no penis. Would you be able to have a sexual relationship with me after finding out?

 

I would have a discussion with you, where we could do sexual things or just hold off until you had the surgery (if thats what you wanted) as I said male and female shouldn't be defined just by penis and vagina, it should be about the whole person, if your man became impotant or had to have his testiclas removed due to cancer and wasn't able to have sex with you again afterwards or at the very least not in the way you where used to, would you really consider him to be anything other than a man?
I appreciate its more complicated for straight couples who want to have children, I mean want to have children by their partner.

now if I was going out with you for 6 months and you never mentioned it and came up with a reason why we couldn't do more than heavy petting during that time, I would be furious that knowing me you didn't trust me to tell me before
S

 

If I loved the person and did find them attractive, I'd be okay with it (I think), but it would certainly freak me out a bit. I mean, if the guy in my sig wanted to shag me, and then told me he used to be a girl, I wouldn't give a damn about his past

 

I actually think I loose out a lot in not being sexually attracted to females as that is one emotional relationship I'll never have
S

 

if i'm already in love and have been in a relationship for a while, i can't see how it would change anything. they're still the same person you were in love with.

 

I'd be a little peeved that they didn't tell me right off, because I'd feel like they didn't know me that well if they thought I'd be mad. But no, I doubt it'd bother me at all, to be honest.

How would you seriously keep something like that from someone though? I mean, wouldn't it be weird if someone never talked about their childhood or whatever?

 

I can understand not talking about it the night meeting, because a person can be very unpredictable, however I would advise saying something ASAP and if the person says they don't like it, they weren't the right person to be with anyway
S

 

I'd have thought a gay person would at least be a bit more sympathetic. I know that sounds a bit hard on the straights, but a gay person will usually have a less rigid concept of gender, I think. I can certainly understand taking penis envy to its logical conclusion, and wouldn't begrudge a woman who did it. I mean, cocks are jolly good fun, aren't they.

 

I know just as many alpha male gay people that wouldn't be seen dead with a woman as I do hetrasexual unfortuantly
S

 

this goes for both FTM and MTF for me :

i think if i had developed strong enough feelings for the guy or gal i am dating (i'm bi so im counting both transgender types) i would stick by him/her.

when it comes down to it, i just dont think it matters.

athough, saying that i have never been in this sort of situation so i cant say for sure what my feelings would be.

 

I would end the relationship becuase they had never told me. I feel like that's something that needs to be stated in the beginning.

You can call me shallow if you want, I want a man with a real penis and testicles. I may be able to fall in love with a trans but it wouldn't work. Can't help how I feel.

 

this is an important point too
S

 

Well I would think that there was something that went wrong in the past that made them want to change. I just dont find it natural I guess, as shallow as it seems .I would want a real man, not a female who decided they wanted to be a man. It would be like dating both sexes at the same time and I wouldnt want that, if that were the case I would become bi. Once again Im just expressing how I feel, I know this can be a sensitive topic for some.

 

i was with a trans guy and he told me prior to us going out. but i was already in love with 'her' and it broke my heart coz it felt like id lost her. but eventually i accepted that this was how it was going to be and that they were same person and i loved him with all my heart and we were together on and off over a few years and are still good friends now.

i think if i met someone and started dating them though and they told me afterwards id be abit thrown. its nice to know what youre dealing with from the start i think. if someone cant deal with how it is, then it wouldnt have worked whenever you told them.

 

Right well you can choose to express how you feel or don't and I'm not talking about answering a direct question with honestly like this, which is fine, however the language and the beliefs that you have expressed on the 2 posts you have put on this thread shows a basic misunderstanding and unacceptance towards the transexual community and people that are transsexual.
transexuals are a part of society not separate from it and you could risk upsetting and alientating people within it, at the end of the day wether that concerns you is down to you
S