He broke up with me about a month ago after 4 and a half wonderful years and a lot of planing for our future together. I thought we were going to be together forever, he is the only one that undersdands me and the only one who listens to me. I feel really empty and lost right now. I don't think you ever get over someone you love. But I hope the pain will go away some day. Any words of advice for me? Anyone? I'm sad but I think I'm not depressed anymore. I didn't like the line of dark toughts I was having. I just need some advice and a chance to let it all out since I don't really have anyfriends or family whom are willing to listen.
I'm sorry you're going through such tough times, nohema, but it really will get better with time. I've been through a nightmare breakup as well, one that took me an awefully long time to get over, but I did many things to stretch that time out, the chief thing being alcohol. Depressants are really really bad when you're depressed, and the immediate relief is incredibly enticing, so don't do that! I don't know how bad off you are, but I was way bad off, and there weren't many things that made it any easier, but there were some... number one being to end all contact with the ex. It's way easier to get over someone if they don't keep reminding you of the past by there mere presence. Anytime the depression crept up and I couldn't settle down, I'd go for a walk or excersice... it gave me something else to focus on. I'd also write a whole lot, it seemed to calm me down. Lastly, I went to a psychologist and joined an online support group... but I did both those things because my ex was toxic, and I got left with a whole bunch of baggage. I really do recommend a support group though. In my case, I was with a girl that had a personality disorder, so it was extremely comforting to know I could talk to all these other people who'd been through similar circumstances (it was eerie, too)... my friends either didn't believe me, or they weren't around at four am when I was having a rough time... the group was. Anyways, I don't want to take up too much space... but it really does get better with every passing day, though it's hard to notice at first...
First i have to congratulate you for taking this in a very mature way, sometimes when we fall in love we get heart-broken we get really depressed to the point of not even turnin on the computer, im glad you're doing better now even tho its been 4 months. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but at the same time im kinda glad because that's what makes us grow in life. That's not a bad thing cause that's experience u gather in life and believe me that u learned something you will be definately use sometime in the future, specially in other relationships. Try to think that everything happens for a reason, and he wasn't the one for you even tho u felt he was, we do make our own decisions but we're not the owners of our fate. Try to smile at urself and find the beauty of life everday and everything will be easier for you one way or another you will get completely over him and that day you will laugh about it, we all do. Good luck in this and please, if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or send me an email and i will be more than happy to talk to you. Take care.!!!
i just have to say, in agreement with other comments you guys have made, that it does take a mature person to be able to move on after something like this, so i applaud you. now on moving on, i think that each day will be a little better than the last. everyday you should do something for YOURSELF, something you may not have done before because you were thinking of His wants/ needs. this could be something as little as getting a pedicure, or as big as begining to plan a vacation that includes features that will make you happy (ex. not going to a 'car show' because thats what he would have chosen to do.) but most of all, dont hide yourself off from other people. even if your not ready for a new significant relationship, allow yourself to subconsiously be looking and open towards new friendships. the worst thing you can do is decide you will never find anyone else, and then sheild yourself from letting yourself go with someone again. it will take time, but in the end, it will be so worth it. good luck with everything.
You guys were obviously young when you got together...it is almost inevitable that you and he will change and maybe grow apart. I know it seems like he was the only one who understands you, but...you've probably not met any other men or even women who understand you because you were too wrapped up in him to explore friendships and relationships with others. Get a hobby to get your mind off of him. The less time you have to think about him, the faster you will get over it. Four years is a long time in your short life, so I'm not saying it's easy...but it will get easier as time passes. I promise.
