How to go about it?

It shouldn't be too much of a shock when I come out to my mother as pansexual, but I'm still preparing for the worst. I should probably wait until I am out of the house/ready to move out to tell her, but it feels like something I can't keep inside. I want to tell her as I feel like she should know about me as much as possible. She's one of those parents who blames what I choose to do and what I feel on my friends (ex: "You're only agnostic because your friends are", etc.) so I feel like she'll brush it off and treat it like a phase. I know she will tell the rest of my family, and they're so ridiculously closed minded I'll just be labeled "the faggot" and disowned.
The other problem is my brother's mindset. He thinks that being anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum is wrong and it's like a disease. I plan on going to live with him, but if that option is cut off then I'll have to start all over with new plans. I've danced around the subject and it went right over their heads, or they asked "You aren't...are you?". I feel as if their love is conditional and everything will come crashing down if I tell them, but I still feel I have to, I don't like keeping secrets.
Thanks for all the help.

 

Why do you feel the need to bring everyone into your business?

 

I'm not bringing everyone into my business. I said I am only going to tell my mother. I feel its something she deserves to know.

 

Are you sure that at the end of the day, you're not just going to marry a guy?

 

Honey , I would honestly search your heart , if I was you , and re think the idea of telling your mom just yet. Your young still , and why not live a little first before you let your mom know where your mind is at. Theres honestly no reason she would need to know just yet.
Trust me , im a mom AND gay , and I been where you are now.
Just wait awhile till you are old enough to care for yourself if it goes bad when you let her know.
huggs

 

Never be ashamed or embarrassed about who you are, don't hide it or lie about it, it will only make you feel miserable.


But be smart about it.


If I were you, I wouldn't move in with your brother, cause that means you'll have yo live a double life to keep the truth from him, or be open about it and live in a toxic tense environment.

Check your options, in the end nobody else will live your life, not your mom, cousins, aunts or uncles. If you're afraid of the consequences coming out will have in the relationships with your family, get out of their house first, try to find some independence, maybe move in with friends/roommates, so if things go wrong with the family, you can't be kicked out and you won't find yourself without a place to live... but maybe that would never be the case, only you know your family and how they might react.


Make good friendships, people who accept you as you are, that's your other family, the one where you have the privilege to choose its members.