How to convince her to get help for the sake of our relationship?

Hello everyone : i have a problem and i was hoping to hear more opinions to help me decide;
i asked people about this and all they told me was to leave her , but thats not wat i want to do , i only want to make sure she wont do this again , so here it is;
am a 20 yr old girl i live w/ my 42 yr old gf , regardless of the age difference we both love each other very much , however her parents seem to dislike me so i got into a fight with her mom which led to me verbally insulting her , and when we got home we had a fight about it which got even more and more tensed and then for the first time she physically against my will held me down like used her weight to pin me down and hit me( spanked me,not in an erotic way so plz no kinky comments).but its still consider hitting. my wrist is bruised now, and i repeatedly told her to stop hitting me as she was hurting me but she didnt stop not even when i cried, i have never seen her react this way,shez a very loving n nice person no matter what ne one says i know shez kind and loving , she says she goes through hell trying to defend "us" without having to worry about me acting like a "brat" even though i was only defending myself her mom was obviously trying to tick me off ,today she talked to me only she didnt apologize or nethin,on the contrary she told me how my behavior embarrassed her and how i was being insensitive not caring bout her image in front of her old parents 60+, and just when i told her that she physically abused me .she told me that what goes up must come down ! and that i verbally abused her "defenseless" mom so i got what i was asking for :S. and that if i act like a brat i get treated like one, i told her how i cant tolerate physical abuse and she told me to "get over it , its not like i slapped your face or broke your nose". she is acting like am making a big deal of it and that i should be sorry for what i did , and so i honestly didn't feel like she understands just how much what she did was wrong she doesn't even consider it abuse she told me that she would never abuse me and that what happened was not abuse . my question is ; do u by any chance get her point n think shez right ? and how am i to make her promise me not to do that again and understand that it is abuse and get professional help for the sake of our relationship .?
,this is serious
thnx again

 

well it sounds to me like you've tried your hardest to get your point across to her. the next step i would take personaly would be seperaton. dont get me wrong, im not saying you should leave her completly but maybe some time apart would be good at this point. distance makes the heart grow fonder. and i think she needs to understand that what she has she should not want to lose, but hold onto and cherish. how i was of some help.

PLUR!
VA

 

What I think is this. To you it was abuse, and you opinion and how you felt matters in the situation. It doesn't matter if she did or did not abuse you. you felt abused, hurt and scared and in a loving relationship you shouldn't have your thoughts discarded. If you said you felt abused then you did! Other than that I would only suggest councilling or just further talk about that issues and deeper issues. not fights deeo conversations. Im not sure if i was much help but i hope i was. Do what feels right in your heart and be honest. Make sure you don't play the blame game and try to constructivly talk about this issue . how you feel and how she feels. Both of you should feel heard.

 

imagine that you have a dear friend, or a sister, in this situation. what would you tell her?

it's not your responsibility to make sure she gets help... you're being hurt and that's unacceptable. please consider leaving and going somewhere that is safe and loving.

 

how hot is her mom???

 

Itshardtoreadthingsthatdon'thaveproperwhitespacing.

 

So you cursed at her 60+ year old mom and got smacked around for it. What where you doing talking to her mom if you already know that you don't get along? I can see from your story you need to look at your own actions before you look at your girlfriends. Hitting is never a good thing but you got smacked. I have been smacked for less by girlfriends. It sounds like you cant accept the repercussions of your actions. Like I said hitting is never the right way of doing things but with every action there is a reaction, good or bad. Sit down with your girlfriend and have a conversation with her about it, not a fight. Keep your anger out of the equation and accept that she has here own views on things.

Take it or leave it.

 

.... shez +60.. dude thats disgusting.

 

Freed Traveler,dancing sun , duck,PLUR42609,DazedGypsy .thanks for ur help , i appreciate it ^-^

 

Freed Traveler,dancing sun,PLUR42609,DazedGypsy .thanks for ur help , i appreciate it ^-^ **

 

anytime


plur
va