How Old People Sometimes Talk (According To The Simpsons)...

"Happy birthday, Bart."
"Thanks, Grampa. Where'd you get all the money?"
"The government. I didn't earn it. I don't need it. But if they miss one payment, I'll raise hell!"

—Treehouse of Horror III,
Season 4, Episode 5,
Original air date: October 29, 1992.


"Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?"
"I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power."

—The Front,
Bart and Grampa Simpson,
Season 4, Episode 19,
Original air date: April 15, 1993.


"Smithers, get me some strikebreakers. The kind they had in the '30s."
[later] "We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter' you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions 'cause of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

—Last Exit to Springfield,
Mr. Burns and Grampa Simpson,
Season 4, Episode 17,
Original air date: March 11, 1993.

 

"Grampa, there are only 49 stars on that flag."
"I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri!"

—Homer Badman,
Lisa and Grampa Simpson,
Season 6, Episode 9,
Original air date: November 27, 1994.

 

They claim to be "married for 50 years", so I guess they are old enough to qualify:

 

I guess I can include this here. My grandfather lost his wife when I was 5. After that we'd go there on Saturday to visit. One time we were there. And he said, you know the more I think of it, the more I'd like some female companionship. We all looked at each other. What?? He said, no, no, not like that. Just to do the cooking and the cleaning. My mother said later, you know, I think we'd all like some female companionship like that.

Yeah, I liked my grandfather. He always got along with every group. Every race and ethnicity (he was born in 1896).