how often do you fight?

The first 6 to lets say 9 months of our relationship we NEVER fought. Moved in after 2 weeks, stayed together every night from the night I met him. Perfect.

But now 1 and a half years later we fight every couple of days. We love each other wholely but I wonder how much is natural and healthy and when is it just alittle much.

 

went out with a girl for 2 years. started to fight after a few days continuously about 10 times a week. always about stupid things..
but we always considered that as something normal. or wasnt it?

 

I've never fought with a boyfriend
kinda wonder how healthy that is though.

 

I don't think you can have two people together in any kind of relationship for long without fighting. You never fought with a best friend? I would find that unlikely.

I'm not talking about physical fighting or all out yelling at each other. But we definitely do have disagreements. and I would consider it fighting because I'm a crybaby and usually end up crying over it and him having to say he's sorry.

Not that I think thats completely right but I'm trying to learn different ways of dealing with it. To him it's ignore it and say there's no problem. but that doesn't work well with me. I have to face problems or they continue to bother me.

 

Not that I can recall. Yeah a few disagreements but mostly it was debating things, rather than fighting per se. Maybe my classification of fighting is differen than yours, regardless of what you find "unlikely".

 

Thats an amazing feat than. I could theorize about it but that would be unfair to you because I have no idea what kind of person you are.

Maybe there are some people out there who can go through life without confrontation. I haven't met any

But seriously I haven't got much response yet. I want to know a range of what other people deal with and do you see it as a deterent to your relationship if you don't always get along. And did it change as time went by. Can every other day fighting be a phase or a sign that even tho we love each other deep down somewhere we might just be getting alittle sick of the other. Does everyone go through it. Have bout you couples that have been together 1 year, 10 years, more?

 

confronting someone and fighting are two different things... just as disagreements and discussionsn are not by any necessity fighting. To me, at least.

My cousin fights with her husband every week. At least once a week. She's just a volatile person though, and her hubby refuses to take shit from anyone, so it ends up with them fighting (ie yelling, etc). They just got married, they've always fought like that, hell, my cousin's always fought like that with almost all her bf's... like I said, she's just volatile. Just how she is.

 

p.s. i always start it over something he did, he never has a problem. do i have the problem or am i trying to bring our relationship to a higher plane and just trying to get him to catch up. I would say the second he would say the first. i guess we would both be right then.

He always says there's no problem, and i always say well i'm not satisfied with just this, i want more, i want to grow, not forever stay the same. but i love him inside and out and even if he pisses me off sometimes i couldn't ever bare to leave him, b/c when we're happy we're really fuckin happy.

how do i make myself just get over shit and not care? damn men are soo good at that. i envy it.

 

My wife and I have been together for ten years.

0-1.5 years = no fighting
1.5-3 years = once a week
3-6 years = 3 times a week
6-8 years = every other day
8-9 years = once a week
9-10 years = once a month

It definately changes over time. It seems from my experience that you become more and more annoying to each other until finally you either break up or start finding acceptance in the fact you can't change some things. We came close to breaking up at the 7-8 year mark and then it all flipped around and a new acceptance was found. I hope this phase endures for a long time.

 

Amen.

 

My husband and I have been together for 10 years. How often do we fight? Rarely ever. I'd probably say maybe two or three times a year max, if that, and it's never even a big kind of fight, we always make up immediately.

 

I had never been in a fight until my last relationship. I learned enough from that one to know there is no excuse for it. I know how to communicate effectively, I know how to tell someone else to communicate effectively with me, and if we can’t discuss things in a mature manner, then we don’t need to be together.

 

It took my boyfriend and I a month before we fought.
Now, we fight at least twice a week....over stupid things. We've had maybe 3 or 4 big fights in the 10 months we've been together.

 

Me and Matt have been together 26 years...were best friends..we dont really fight, we more or less state our opinion, then move on !!

 

Honestly?
I have been married three times.
Some we fought-some we didn't-none of them lasted so I don't think it matters.

 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAH! We have at least one fight every single day. There may be a day or two where we don't have a fight, but our fights aren't major knock down drag outs either. LOL, we save that for once a month. There is nothing wrong with fighting, actually, I absolutely love that about my boyfriend, then again I want to be a lawyer so which one of us is screwed here? LOL. I'm really opinionated and I love that quality in others. Even when it is about sugar. So I guess it all depends on what you consider a fight. Ours ALWAYS end up with us both laughing our asses off at ourselves for sounding so ridiculous.

The thing is we ALWAYS make up, obviously, since we've been together over 5 years. I mean I can't stay mad at him for more than a few hours, and especially if he is not at home because I never ever want our last words to ever be a fight. I always make sure we say I love you. That doesn't mean we don't yell at each other (and that doesn't mean yelling at each other is right either, but we are working on that). All it means is we know what is more important and it has never ever been what we are fighting about. Each other is always more important.

 

so I guess I've learned it's different for every relationship? There is no normal range of what is healthy and what isn't?

I liked what someone said about you get to a point where you see the annoying characteristics as well as the ones that made you fall in love, and maybe for awhile you might battle them to see if they'll go away (my words of course), and when they don't it's time to learn compassion for the other and to let these silly and small differences go. That helps me.

I don't think we're pre-packaged for anyone. But with compassion, patience and love we can see each other through to the end regardless

I wonder how long we'll go now without fighting or getting worked up. We had a wonder couple of days now and I just feel soo happy that maybe I'm getting passed this... whole trying to change him. He was perfect for me before and he still is... even if he sticks his finger in his nose every 5 minutes and likes to fart on me (which he definitely DIDN'T do when we first started dating

 

That's the key (Serenity Prayer).

Only way I've seen virtually no disagreements was with slaves/absolute subs.
Not many Folks into that.

Forgot - when one of the two in a relationship is in the process of moving on down the Road...

 

me and nick don't fight a lot but the couple of times we have they were big and ended with a break-up or close to it.

 

My wife and I have been married for 1yr.3months. Known each other for about 10 yrs. Both of us having been in failed relationships before decided to agree to disagree. We have never had a fight...that's not to say we always see eye to eye. We are two different people and we do have disagreements couple times a month; but we blow it off and move beyond it. Takes two to fight and I've been there done that before...gets you no where!