How many "straight" husbands enjoy gay play?

Are you formerly "straight" married man who has ventured into some gay/bi play with another man? Does your wife know?
How did it happen for you?

 

grr I think that's so wrong. Yea I'm gay it's not that part it's the part about cheating and sneaking and being promiscicous in what is supposed to be a monagmous commitment. What ever happend to Monogamy? Does still exist?

 

This is more common than most people think. There are whole communities of married men looking for gay sex that can be found over the computer.

 

I have ran into quite a few. The sad ones are the ones that after we have had the proverbial roll in the hey tell me that they don't have gay sex. OK, I'm in between genders in many ways but I still haven't had "the operation". I identify as female so it is kind of flattering but what they just did to me was sodomy which although isn't completely limited to gay sex is one of the things that they used to bust gays for. One guy kept stroking my tool which isn't working so well after HRT & acting like he was upset that I didn't get an erection. Post coitus he was extremely adamant that he wasn't gay & never f@%ked a guy. I damn near threw him out of my apartment.

There is another guy that keeps hitting on me but in between statements that he isn't into gay sex even though I make it plainly clear that I don't have a vagina. He really creeps me out & I do my best to ignore or avoid him. Last time he tried cruising me in the bar I was hanging with a butch that I was getting interested in. She nearly punched him out.

 

besides being dishonest with one's partner, it's a state of denial about yourself. for some, i might think that it's also a bit of a "oh, aren't i DIRTY?!" thrill. not my thing. i prefer openness and honesty. i think very ugly things happen to people and people's attitudes when they've been lied to.

 

it really makes me sick seeing all the married men looking for no strings attached gay sex. theres nothing wrong with being gay, but how about being faithful to your PARTNER? it gives gay people a bad name, that they just want to have casual sex and are always open for a good fuck. its just not the case.

 

You say that there is nothing wrong with being gay, but you seem to have a problem with it. What if it is alright with the spouse? My wife is the one who told me to let my gay friend give me oral. A casual blowjob doesn't bother her, nor does her time with her gf bother me. Live life and enjoy.
In the case of cheating, I'm against it.

 

I think people misunderstood what you were saying , and they were thinking in terms of married men going behind their ladies backs and having secret Gay sex.

 

well, the "does your wife know?" question raises hackles, i think. i'm all for open relationships, being in one. but lying, sneaking and cheating really chaps my ass.

 

i think cheating in an open relationship really hurts, because if you have a partner thats lets you have freedom why cheat, in the case of an open relationship its a sure sign the partner no longer wishes to be in the realtionship anymore
S

 

exactly, or they are playing games to get off, games they KNOW are going to be hurtful for their own selfish enjoyment. neither of which are indicative of a healthy relationship.

 

so some people may want an 'open relationship' for the buzz of feeling naughty, when the buzz wears off they will take it steps further like lieing to their partner?
S

 

depends on what their motivation is for being in an open relationship. dave and i are pretty damned straightforward people. we both knew, going into our relationship, that there was going to be a day when we'd want to have sex with someone else. but we're partners and best friends. neither of us get a high off of lying, to be completely frank, it makes both of us sick. finding someone who has a similar way of functioning in relationships seems to be key to making something like this work. but a lot of people go through times where they're not into it at all. you have to be able to trust your partner that they won't cross lines with you, which means talking a LOT and laying out boundaries. but some people really get off on being "naughty." if you're both like that, and you both get off on the drama, more power to you. but the funny thing is that neither dave nor i consider our behavior "naughty." it just is. do you know what i mean?

btw, we're derailing the thread. sorry.

 

I think we're both still broadly discussing the subject, I'm in an open relationship too, and to go back to the original posters question and what you have stated KC is that both people must be clear about the boundries and talk often to avoid being hurt
S

 

yes, definitely so. it helps if you're best friends, too. seriously, after the sex is gone, the one you want by your side is your best friend.

 

can a relationship work at all, if your not friends?
S

 

another question KC, is it important that your sexual partners are honest, I.E if you thought that their partners didn't know, would you say 'no way'
S

 

i'd never get involved without express consent of the person's partner. ever. not only would it make me feel oily, but i don't disrespect people like that. sex is sacred to me, and i treat it that way. someone using me to hurt their partner (which, if they're cheating, is what they're doing) is a sacriledge to me.

 

Are you a married guy who was curious about doing something with another guy? How about other bi or gay men who have been with the curious married guy. What was your experience?
I'm curious as to the reactions of the men who have done it for the first time. Did they enjoy it, or did they freak and back out?

 

Married and bi, my first experience was in a park. I went to this area knowing that "things" went on there and I was very courous. I really didn't think anything would happen but I wanted to see about it.

I had a nice looking man approach me, he talked to me for a few minutes then sprung the quesiton. We stepped off the trail where he gave me oral.

For weeks after that I felt weird, thinking that I had stepped over a line and there was no returning. That feeling went away after awhile. I feel very normal about it.

I feel great pleasure having sex with a male or female. I enjoy the passion of the moment.

I have met many bisexual married men, I think most of them like the idea of casual sex without the dating experiences. Sometimes I think 'cheating' with a man keeps marrages together, as there are no relationships problems from dating. Some people for what ever reason need to have sex with different people to feel good about themselves. Maybe this is selfish, and maybe it's just an act of nature.