How it feels to WONDER and/or KNOW

I was just outside...thinking about Brian.... (to those who dont know... he was my best friend for 8 years and my boyfriend- but that isnt even word enough for it- the love of the live... for 3)

.......

i had been reading a lot of books and meditating, more then usual lately... since ive been in a lot of stress

i usually dont harp on his imagine in my life much... even though he stays with me constantly. i have come to the point- and did a LOONG time ago... that things are as they are for a reason. and that love and memories NEVER leave.


well, i was kinda talking to him.... (talking to myself, a skeptic might say)- but after i stopped.. i sat in silence for about 10 to 20 seconds... and just "let it be"... all the sudden..... (no, they did not all happen at once, but one after the other).... a flock of geese came flying and making their noises..... then the train came, the thunder (and it's not even storming)..... and then two of the cats around here (we have cat houses here for the homeless, they are sprayed and fed every day)- came out "meowing" at me and they never vocalized to me before...

i know what i make of it but that doesnt mean it is.

 

hmmm it's funny- when it's drama. every one responds.

when it's serious- no one cares.

 

I have dreams that come back and back can this count?

 

i dont know. it might ...

but even if it doesnt... you posted here instead of where the drama was and that says something about you.

*i love ya em*

 

I was gonna post a pic, but i didn't

 

man it's really fucking windy out tonight.