I am new here, so this can be an introduction. It appears that this site is much more friendly and less judgmental than some. I am not into being punished and controlled. I do not consider myself a submissive person-so much discussion on spanking sites is about dominance and submission. For me its about erotic release mainly, the joy of being aroused by a smacked bottom. But also sometimes from a feeling of closure and relief from guilt, when I receive what I considered a disciplinary spanking. I was raised by a mother alone. She was divorced when I was a young toddler and I never had any real contact with my father. I. was not spanked as a child, in fact my mother rather regarded hitting and spanking children as barbaric.I have always had a close relationship with her which continues to this day. When I was 13 I went to a girlfriend's 14th birthday party, just a bunch of us girls, no boys. At some point her mother announced that Katie was going to get her birthday spanking. Her mother put her across her lap, flipped up her party dress and gave her 15 swats on her panties, not really hard, but she squealed a lot. After it was over, she stood up, rubbed the back of her dress and the party continued. It excited me, guess you might say. Kept bringing up the picture in my memory and wondering what it would be like to get a birthday spanking of my own. I approached my mother with the idea the day before my 14th, and she just dismissed the idea, thought it was totally silly. But I kept on talking to her about it, asking, and finally she said, "Okay if you want it you shall have it." She had gotten tired of my begging and wheedling! I dropped down over her knees, slipped down my jeans,and she started laying them on, good ones! And I was wearing a thong(something I started doing when I turned 13) so all 14 and the 15th traditional "one to grow on" were right on my bare bottom! When it was over, I stood up and began rubbing my bare seat, my mom started laughing at the sight, and we ended up hugging and kissing. Since then, a birthday spanking from Mom has become a family tradition though now get one from the woman I am in a relationship with , who is older. I think older women make the best lovers and the best spankers. I'll close now and maybe I'll share some of my experiences and thoughts again.
That's how quite a few ladies get into spanking . Its the curiosity of what its like as it was more rare that corporal punishment in any guise was given to the fairer sex.. There is also an element of being controlled by someone you can trust. and the element of anticipation of waiting for that first smack or stroke which in many respects is a turn on itself. The anticipation aspect can be further increased by keeping a person waiting as they know what's about to happen but don't know when. all of this can form an erotic release. Another aspect you could try is role playing whereby in your case you could be dressed as a little girl and get that spanking that you probably missed .
"...I am not into being punished and controlled. I do not consider myself a submissive person-so much discussion on spanking sites is about dominance and submission. For me its about erotic release mainly, the joy of being aroused by a smacked bottom. But also sometimes from a feeling of closure and relief from guilt, when I receive what I considered a disciplinary spanking...." I understand that submission and being dominated isn't your primary interest, and the arousal in anticipating the smack or the feeling afterward may be like many other anticipation fetishes, such as a balloon-popping fetish which is surprisingly common. However, whenever you introduce "relief from guilt" and "disciplinary spanking", which you do indicate is part of your interest, that's a form of submission. For an adult to consent to a spanking, or even request it, is most definitely a form of Dom(me)-sub play. A gang of adults could spank you against your will, and they would probably injure you and maybe some of them in the struggle, but a lone individual cannot exert the dominance required for that form of erotic play without your consent/submission. You may fairly describe yourself as having a very specific form of emotional or physical masochism, rather than being submissive per say, but it's a fine line. From what you describe, I'd say that it's a very common form of submissive play, with you in the submissive role immediately before, during, and immediately after the spanking, and the person delivering the spanking being ceded the dominant role by you for that play.
Like to clarify matters a bit. What I meant was that I while agreeing to be spanked for discipline, I am not in a domestic relationship where the person who spanks controls other aspects of my life, tells me what to do about things like how I dress, where I go and so on. If you mean submissive in the sense that I get spanked instead of spanking someone else, then what you say is correct. I am rather a free spirit and would never tolerate someone running my life which I have heard is true in some people's DD relationships.
Correct and agreed. I think you mean a " Ds" relationship. Because of the role I have , I have to do background reading on all types of relationships including this . Yes its a very controlling environment and some people prefer it that way and its not always the guy that is the dominant. I think roleplaying with a trusted partner would be a good suggestion as that would restrict it to the bedroom . This way you could play the role of the naughty Maid and receive a disciplined spanking that way .That's just a suggestion as me and my partner are active roleplayers and have plenty of fun this way. But make sure you have safewords as sometimes. including my partner once, got rather carried away in her role .
I was 50 when I got my first spanking. It was by I female Dom. I got a instant erection. We did many different role playing but spanking both giving and taking is the best. But yes it is good to have that safety word because you can really get into it.
I was 50 when a got my first spanking by a female Dom. It got me hard in no time. We would switch roles at times as she love it too. This also lead to many other bdsm session. It is good to have that safe word as we both have really got into it. You do get carried awzy
That's really no different to my situation as its something my partner wanted to do . All you can do is keep suggesting when you review the boundaries that you have agreed .
Not sure how I found out that I liked it, but I think for me it has something to do with submissiveness. Feeling those little stings on my ass right before he pushes inside me is exhilarating.
The point I was trying to make is that you both need not to be into it. As long as in my case my reservations were overcome I am happy to make my wife happy in whatever turns her on and to help her fulfil some of her fantasies. If you can do this it can make you both a better couple in the bedroom and cement a fulfilling relationship.
Exactly, Mysteron. If the 2 people get turned on by a little spanking, then have at it. It's just some added spice and heat, and what's wrong with that??
I think the main problem with spanking is its perception . Most will just think of the disciplinary side of it which is just one aspect . Just gently almost stroking my partner on her rear is enough to turn her on . She is normally on all fours and not over my knee when this happens and is part of our foreplay . The latter we reserve for roleplaying .
This girl I was dating when I was 19 and just in college was a super tease but no sex. I told her after a month I was finished that I couldn't continue going out without having sex. A week later she called up and said, "OK, we can have sex". Our next date, we ended up at my place and I was fully expecting to fuck her. She said, "no, I just don't feel like it". I grabbed her really pissed off and I forced her to the floor in front of me. I unzipped my jeans and pulled out my totally stiff dick ready to be sucked. She said she wouldn't do it but I made her. Today they'd call that date rape. I held her down and ejaculated in her mouth and, after some gagging on it, she swallowed. Well, she was quite pissed off at me and I told her she was a little bitch for doing that to me and she'd be damned smart not to ever do it again with any other guy--and I was finished with her--again! She called a week later and apologized for being a shitty little bitch and she actually liked me very much and she'd learned her lesson. "Can we go out again"? she asked. I was very hesitant to go out with her again but I really liked her for being her. She was a super cool chick and smart--but with a smart mouth too. She came over again and, again, I expected to fuck her. We did get naked and rolled around on my bed. She started the teasing again and I got pissed off again. She said, "what are you going to do, spank me"? And that is exactly what I did. I grabbed her and put her over my knee and spanked the shit out of her cute little ass. She squealed and begged but the more I spanked, the hotter I got. The more she was writhing in pain on my lap the harder my dick got. I was literally fucking her stomach while she lay over my legs. Finally, I ejaculated all over both of us. She was crying and wiping my cum off then she sat at my feet and said, "you're the first guy who ever did that to me". "I just wanted you to show me you cared." In some way, it was all a test. She wanted me to take control and make her do anything I wanted. She spent the night and we fucked all night. And, by the way, she got off sucking my dick again. She became my only lover for a year before we both went our ways but she got several more spankings. Ok, here it is, I spanked her hard. I spanked her with a paddle. I used a belt on her. She LOVED it and would orgasm from the pain. I discovered that when she was sexually excited, neither the belt or the paddle left welts on her. They would not even appear! It was something to do with the fact that she got sexually excited with the pain and the endorphins or the dopamine or the adrenaline healed what would have been some big red welts. I got to love spanking her ass and pinching her nipples. NOTHING left a mark on her.
