How does one "find" themselves?

I had some really bad stuff happen to me about 2 years ago and I haven't been the same since. I was a complete free spirit before that time, loved art and writing and expressing myself with colourful clothes! Then I became bitchy, withdrawn and selfish and my wardrobe now is full of black.

I dont think I'm depressed right now because I'm not really that sad but how do I get back to my former self?

I feel lost. Any ideas on how to "find" myself?

Thank ye for any replies! :sunny:

 

It is hard for humans to trace backwards.

You need to remember the qualities you liked about yourself in the past and try to find a way to reclaim them in the present.

If you loved art and writing, then make art! write!

 

You liked you until this bad stuff happened. You were bright, cheerful and colorful with a taste for art and writing. Now none of that is so. Sounds to me like the bad stuff aint over. Maybe the bright, colorful artist writer full of life person is still covered with a pall from the bad stuff. So even if the event that you call the bad stuff has passed, the residue has spilled onto all aspects of the you that you love. Perhaps its time for an old fashioned Irish Wake. Confront the details of the bad thing, size em up in your mind, get completely around that event so that you own it. Sounds like right now it owns you even if you think you're done with it. Size that thing up and take it somewhere and bury it with the proper kind of ceremony it needs. Dedicate a period of time to its demise and get your bright colors back on, use your art to paint it, sculpt it, whatever medium you want to capture it in. Write about what the bastard did to you and use that as its eulogy. After you bury the sucker your period of mourning is over and you go back to being you.

Hell I don't know. I haven't slept in days and I'm gettin a bit more whacked than usual but I'm serious about laying this thing to rest in a formal ceremony. You're still draggin' ass around in the funk this event caused you in the first place. Time to officially lose it and regain you. Thats my thought. If you think it's too stupid just ignore it and no harm done. Good luck to you.

 

sounds like you need to find a happy medium.

 

By hitting bottom. Hard to say though, since I don't know what you experienced.

 

take a vacation with some friends, drop acid maybe. the last time i did, i realized so many things about my social life and how lazy i am, it was pretty overwhelming honestly, to the point of crying. maybe something like that will inspire change.

 

Try new things...it always heals the soul

 

i think you have to know yourself a bit before you can "find" yourself. otherwise it seems like youd be looking for a lost dog without knowing what type of dog youre searching for. i think you have to be aware of who you are now and be in touch with who you want to be and what type of person you want to avoid becoming. dont try to overhaul your life in a few steps, that just sounds exhausting and probably less practical. get in touch with yourself and make changes along your way that will get you to where you want to be

 

This is a bit paradoxical but at the same time makes sense. I suggest making some time for quiet meditation- preferably early in the day before you've assumed the daily load of stress.

Nobody or nothing can shape you without your consent.

 

Meditating does make a huge difference. I can tell if I'm a little off from not meditating in a while. Finding the self and knowing the self can easily come from meditating if you allow it.

 

If you don't go within, you go without, I suppose.

 

Or perhaps after you try various sensetive and thoughtful approachs you can go back to whoever caused your grief and beat the livin' BeeJeezus out of 'em with a Louisville Slugger...it always pays to cover all bases

 

I think they frown upon running bases while carrying a bat.

 

Probably why I was always the last one chosen...I didn't get the rules thing

 

Imagine the one you miss to be is not a former but a future self - and there are even many, not just one specific - all growing, all becoming more, all cheering you on, never excluding you from the waltz of changes.

Just don't fear to be lost; honor who you are at this very point without putting conditions on you. Imagine you are who you choose to be in this moment, including all circumstances that helped you get here. There's a deeper sense in it. If guilt / anger issues seem in the way, there's is your material to work with.

Just another thought

 

I've always found the concept of "finding oneself" to be bunk. There is no magic bullet (acid, meditation, etc) to discovering your inner person.

If you want to stop being bitchy, do nice things for people.
If you want to be less withdrawn, call people and go hang out.

Changing your actions isn't rocket science.

 

Sometimes you gotta lose urself to find urself- things change just hang in there nothing lasts forever :love:

 

jump in jump out turn yourself about jump in jump out introduce yourself

 

A whole lot of brutal self evaluation and I honestly do not think it is a process that is ever finished, rather it is a life long journey of where we are at any given time.

 

As a species, we are pretty bad at self-evaluation. In fact, when I feel down about myself, sometimes I read about Dunning-Kruger or fundamental attribution errors to remind me of just how bad at it I am.