How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail it's other hand to the floor!

 

muwahahaha... i'll keep that in mind the next time it happens...

 

you know why it's easier to unload a truck full of babies rather than a truck full of bowling balls?






cause you can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
i'm sure i screwed that up, but it's true, no?

 

Nope, you got it right...I think. How do you make a dead baby float?


Take your foot off of it's head.

 

no no no



What's better than throwing a baby off a cliff?



























catching it with a pitch fork

 

What's the difference between a ferarri and a pile of mutilated babies?





































I dont have a ferarri in my garage.

 

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?






































The dog plays with it more.

 

What's the difference between a black baby and a white baby?





































five minutes in the microwave.

 

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
























































Depends how hard you throw them.

 

why you put them in squares of course, duh

 

well im out of material... cmon jerry, more more more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Stop this... we might upset Michael

 

What is pink and red and sits in a corner?






A baby chewing on razor blades.

 

What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?








Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples

 

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?




A baby playing in a plastic bag.

 

How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket?



A blender


How do you get them back out?


Tortilla chips

 

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?






Stick a javelin through it's head.

 

Edit: I just can't bring myself to post 'dead baby' jokes... shame on you all

 

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?






A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

 

How do you spoil a baby?

Leave it out in the sun.