Ok, so here it is. HOW DO YOU SEPERATE SEX FROM LOVE? i dont know if it was how i was raised, but i find it very hard to sleep with someone i don't love, i can't explain it, but the feeling to still have sex is still there...With other people other then my husband. Sound werid? Maybe it is just my hormone's getting the best of me, but when i have sex with someone, i have the trandency to get attached to them, weather i love them or not. Is it just me or is this normal? And will i ever be able to shack that from me. If not' i can live with it, just wanted to see what other people thought?
Women and men are programmed differently. Women find it hard to make love without a romantic attachment to the man to whom a penis is attached, while men are programmed to spread their seed to all females willing to accept that seed from their penis.
It really is too normal to associate sex with love. We are raised that sex is "what a man and woman do when they love each other very, very much." People tell people they love them to get them into bed. It is hard to seperate sometimes loving how someone makes you feel physically and loving them.
everyone is different though some see others as what their own thoughts must be through them... when in fact no two minds see exactly the same. It can be close..but... just because you know something or feel something does not mean everyone knows with the same knowing or feels with the same feeling... but i have digressed and t o y o u r p o i n t ... iwillget i have had 3 lovers and sex and love are the same...for me... a man...it is a question about s p i r i t thinks me... not so much about seed... i met a man named johnny and he had no apples... so he clinmb the branches of his mind and found the root of his heart... i wish i was a headlight on a north bound train so i could shine my light down arizona canyon ways...
i do agree with the other post, i think that might be true, that the one guy this is about, is just saying he loves me to get me in bed, i know my heart can get carryed away, that is why i have to have my mind safe guard it. My heart is telling me this is love, my brain is telling me , wake the fuck up!..lol
I understand what you're saying, hope. Hubby and I are swingers, and we do develop feelings for some of the people that we swing with. They are loving feelings, but our deepest love is for only each other. We get attached to people, and want to see them again and again (if the chemistry really rocks and we really dig them as people outside of bed). I don't think there's anything wrong with that. The only problem would be if you felt strongly enough that you have thoughts of leaving your spouse or sig other for one of those partners. So, I say, if you can work it out with yourself, enjoy those feelings for what they are...ya know, "love the one your with".
just one question? How do you know it is more then just sex? and you are being used by a couple? Cause i believe that is all i ever was, was used...?
i thought i was being used for a while because all my boyfriend ever wants is sex and blow jobs and never just wanted to go out somewhere and just chill. But everyday he says he loves me more than once and hes always there for me and helps me with a lot of things. Also i asked him and he said no that he just likes sex. so idk i guess once you find someone you'll know and if you dont know then just ask because if they really love you then they wont use you.
i believe so much that your gut is the truth that will set you free... and i tend to believe my gut feelins, and i feel USED. Cause before all this happened, before we had sex, he was able to tell me (how much he cared about me and all that shit) and now all the sudden he don't know how to express himself, which is a bunch of shit, and i find it funny all the sudden after he got what he wanted, he slowly started backing off.. which now make's me feel used....
My wife and I have been able to do that. One of the main reasons we are able to do this is because of our commitment to each other and the desires to experience what live offers us, not only emotionally, but physically as well. My wife is a retired RN who has had physical contact with many different men and women over the years. The nature of her work and educating me as to the different feelings our bodies offer, if we are open enough to experience it, has helped us cross this bridge. If either of us were to do something with another person, behind the others back,It's cheating and a breach of trust. Doing things with the others blessing and approval has made for a revitalization of our sex lives and emotional bond.
^^ Well, you're brain is a pecimist and your haeart is a free "live for the moment" optimist. If you're doin it right, you're heart will help you're brain have a little fun, and you're brain will keep you're heart in check. But its not easy to keep them from conflicting. As for you're dilemma(this goes to EVERYBODY), as anyone here actually thought of sex-deprivation? Just not have sex or give it up? To truly have love together with sex symbioticly, you have to make SURE that the love is there FIRST before continuing the package with sexual relations. A relation ship that has actual love is one that doesn't really NEED sex. Once you've established this, you can HAVE sex.
