How do you let people know that you're gay?

I'm more seeing how everyone else does this than asking for the "right" way to do it, but I'm just wondering. Mostly I'm talking in the context of trying to get a bloke, but I guess it could come up other ways. I know that we don't all want to broadcast it all the time, but sometimes you want to let someone know that, hey, you're an option, you know?

Basically I've sworn off gaybars for a while and I'm looking for a way that doesn't involve me changing my clothes/style.

 

I like to just grab their dick and start sucking (yes - I am kidding).

 

I read that as "start surfing"

 

do the staring thing, smile, or just ask them to go out for a drink or something unless you're scared of making the first move. that's all i really know for now

 

waire do u freequent in ur day to day waire u would be around gay men like at work u could just be friendly tward a guy and ask him out or liek if u go to a certain coffy shop or something and thairs a guy thaire u think is hot u could just ask him if you could buy him a cup of jo or if u could sitt with him. i dont really know much about this topic cause i dont really go for gay guys i liek str8 guys that are curious so i never really aproche gay guys

 

If you have gone off gay bars and don't want to change your style it is less likley that other gays come up to you and want to go out. So i would suggest that you browse the interweb for the gay scean in your arrear and see where there are gay coffee shops / arrears and then just introduce yourself to people and see how it goes.

But you are right just because you are gay doesn't mean that you have to change you style just because of your sexuality.

 

I'm more looking for a way to kind of make it obvious when I want to. It sucks when I meet guys and they don't know I'm interested just cuz I'm not flamboyant enough The Internet is fine but all the guys I've met where it went anywhere romantically have been people I've met socially, rather than on-line.

 

Eye contact can indicate quite a bit.

 

start singing show tunes

 

Hoatzin, I'm not really sure theres any good way to communicate being gay without just saying so..maybe working it into the conversation somehow. Mushie18's right about the eye contact though, sometimes you can pick up a lot of information from certain nonverbals.

What I want to know is why Hoatzin? its a great name but not many people know about the bird Hoatzin...is that where it comes from for you? Just curious is all.

 

i usually tell a guy is gay when he touches me i dont mean in a sexual way i mean liek a pat on the back or a hand shake once i knew this guy was gay before he did when he touched my ear gay men have a softness to thaire touch sometimes that str8 guys dont

 

Yeah, I figured it'd be that. Can't help but think this'd be easier if we all just wore badges though.

They just seem pretty cool. They have claws when they're babies, but then lose them as adults. How cool is that?

 

Hoatzins are completely cool...I've seen them before in the wild, they're kinda handsome in a bird sort of way....they kind of crash around more than fly.

 

Hoopoes and herons are better, but they're not cool words, so I went with Hoatzin.

 

I just googled Hoopoes...those guys are a riot

 

It does help though, whether you dress effeminately, androgously(?), or stylishly you are more likely to stand out from the crowd in regards to other gay guys, thus more likely to catch the glare and meet up more.


As others have said, its mainly about eye contact, gay guys do the same as the girls do, once they've caught your gaze, its a still stance and then fire eyes, looking right in your eyes but as if its focused a foot behind your head......either that or puppy dog eyes and they play with their hair.

Either way, most straight guys look away within 1/2 sec if you stare them in the eye, unfortunately not all. Having trouble with the gaydar thing when younger is mainly about not yet having it work well enough to distinguish between Gay and Bi and worrying about getting it wrong even when you are getting to a 90% hit rate

 

This is what fucks me off though, because it's just not who I am. I know I look alright so I don't make tons of effort (compared to the dude who's mega-insecure about his appearance and spends half his life on a sunbed), and I never quite got the dresscode right when I tried.

This is part of the reason I gave up on the bar scene. I'm not going to lie and say "oooh, half the guys there are straight", but it's enough that you don't feel you can just go up to someone as a straight guy would to a girl, (which I figured was the intention behind gay bars). I know it sounds shit, but in a lot of ways I wish we hadn't decided we were cool with straight people coming to the bars. I have this wonderful ability to find the one straight guy in a bar full of gays, but the more there are the less point there is in me being there to be honest. Doesn't matter how nice they are about saying they're not into that, because the "straight" bar scene is a lot more tolerant now and if I wanted to be rejected on those grounds I'd rather do it there where there's more choice of music, less mindless conformity, and a better variety of people/people-types.

 

^^^

Well, you dont pick up in bars, not only too many straights, but too many bi/night off from the wife guys.

You're better off in a crowded place, exclusive gay is only around the 2% mark roughly, so you need to pass 50 guys to spot a gay guy, a couple hundred to spot one gay guy you might be interested in. So you're more likely to find a guy you want walking around a shopping mall or down a busy city street than in a supposedly gay nightclub. Summoning the courage to go try chat up said fellow is the hard part

 

As for that part, yes it does suck, the gay catch-22.

You dont want to gay it up too much to avoid idiots or spend too much time and money on appearance, yet you want to stand out from the crowd enough to get the attention of other gay guys

 

To be honest, no, I don't want to "stand out". It's a bit nuts when I write it down, but I think what I want is for the dudes at those places not to all be focused on getting the one guy who does stand out, because a) most of them aren't going to get him, that night or ever, and b) he's probably a ****.

Just seems like, hey, there's plenty of dick to go around, but everyone'll go for a shot at the flamboyant fag because, even if they don't find that attractive, it's a safer easier option than having to figure out whether someone's gay or not.

To give you some idea what I'm up against: which one of these guys do think is me?

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