How do you help a depressed relative?

My mom is going through a very hard time now, and she's really depressed, and I feel useless. I don't know how to help her.
How do you help a depressed relative?

 

There is only so much that you can do. Have you talked with her about it? Just let her know that you are there if she needs you. Tell her that you will do what you can, give her a ride to the doctor, listen when she needs to talk. Just be supportive.

 

just let her be.. depressed people are too tired for any interaction.. I'm sure she knows you're there for her..

 

Prozac worked for me. I see no reason to resist trying medicine. There is nothing wrong with using real medicine for an illness. Just avoid any meds with abuse potential like the benzo family. But knowledgeable doctors won't give a benzo to a person clinically depressed. You don't want to sedate a depressed person. It feels good but just creates a dependency. You want "transparent" medicines in the SSRI class that work only upstream of the central nervous system on trying to get neurotransmitters to be more efficient. To me it was like putting a pair of eye glasses on a mind out of focus. Over months I could see the fine edges between my feelings and their causes and I could choose to think and feel rather than just stay in what I thought and felt. Best of luck. Don't resist science.

 

sorry to hear that this is happening.

As YFM mentioned, there's only so much you can do. Understanding that this is something that is outside of your control may be the best reaction you can have. Still, there may be some things that you can do.

Is she suicidal? I don't know all of the details about the NHS in the UK, but you might want to contact them.

There's also www.befrienders.org and on-line suicide groups like www.suicideforum.com

Do you know why she is depressed? Was it a recent event? If it was something like the loss of a relationship or a job that triggered her depression, counseling might be especially helpful. If she only recently became depressed, there is a good chance that she will start feeling better in a few months.

Counseling might be good for her if she has had longer term depression as well.

Drug therapy is a common treatment for depression. There can be problems with drug therapy, like dependency and side effects, but many people find drug therapy helpful.

There are lots of self-help methods that may be effective. At least 25 minutes per day of regular, gentle, aerobic activity has been shown to just as effective at treating depression as some anti-depressants.

Maybe you could volunteer to go on a brisk walk with her everyday (assuming that you live near one another).

Meditation might be helpful to her. Dietary changes might help too. Eliminating processed foods, and reducing or eliminating foods like sugar, wheat, and caffeine might help. Fresh, lightly cooked whole foods served warm are recommended as the basis for the diet.

The book "Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine" by Bob Flaws contains a lot of self-help methods. If she can afford to pay for acupuncture or chinese herbal medicine, those might be helpful too.

Having some laughs would probably help. Maybe rent a funny movie or see one in a theater.

hope that things can get better soon!

 

One other thing that I can strongly recommend from experience is to NOT play around with so-called "natural" remedies with health food store products like GABA or that contain GABA. I damaged my own ability to produce the gaba-amino butyric acid neurotransmitter by taking the supplement. Then when I stopped taking the supplement I developed long-lasting insomnia and uncharacteristic "general anxiety disorder". I didn't learn what I had done and was frantic for relief and it led me to XANAX addiction and alcoholism. I stumbled across the explanation on the net and it turned out that a medicine called "gabapentin" was the answer to helping my natural production of the gaba-amino butyric acid neurotransmitter to normalize and stop the insomnia, micro-seizures and releases of fight or flight panic juice into my gut. Please don't buy into any of the un-regulated "herbal" nonsense. Those are "toxins" that have "drug-like" effects but which are non-specific and affect many systems in the body and brain unnecessarily. Stick with real approved medicine--just be sure to avoid central nervous system depressants like benzos like XANAX and Ativan. Those feel nice. But they create need for themselves and can cause one to act out to enhance their effects (like drinking with them). No good.

 

There is substantial evidence that many so-called "natural" or "alternative" remedies are actually safe and effective. For example, acupuncture has been found to be safe and effective in many studies, and is endorsed by the World Health Organization for the treatment of a variety of diseases, including depression.

It is a point well taken, however, that simply because something is sold in a health food store does not mean that it is a good idea to take it.

On the other hand, prescription drugs can be a problem too. There are many people who have terrible experiences with prescription anti-depressants, and who recommend against anyone taking them.

Generally speaking, it's a good idea to see a professional medical practitioner for the treatment of any disease. That said, it is also possible to get good results from self-help methods.

B6 and tryptophan are available in many foods, and there is a long history of people taking these as supplements. I don't know of any problem with taking these in recommended doses, except if one has an unusual reaction (as one can have with any ingested substance), or if there is an interaction with other drugs or supplements that one is taking. Certainly, if you taking any medication, you shoud tell the prescribing physician about any vitamin or other supplement that you are taking.

I don't know anything about GABA, but 5-HTP has been studied and found to be safe and effective in treating depression.

 

Not to feel useless in terms of ,especially, when your close one's are depress and need help from you.Generally, this situations are very typical for us to handle, when our love one's are in trouble and we can't do anything which makes the every situation normal and happy.But the truth is, at that situation we are the one who can make everything admirable inspite of felling useless.

Just go at the alone place. cry as more you can after that you"ll feel relax and then close your eyes and take long breath then automatically you get the positive energy to tackle the situation and make your mom out of depression and give her positive energy too. This is the real fact, i think you should follow this.

 

As much as she knows you would be there for her you could send her a snail mail card letting her know that you are thinking of her. If you live close walks at a park or pretty place could be a breath of fresh air. Since we don't know details it is hard to suggest something that might end up making the situation worse.

I have lived with depression most of my life but there were times and situations that made it worse. I had major surgery and could not walk for a period of time, so my suggestion to go for a walk would be totally inappropriate but receiving a card would help a bit.

If you don't want your Mom's business out on the board maybe you could PM someone you trust to talk to about this. Wishing you and your Mom well.

 

Thank you to everyone who replied.

I don't really want to give details here, since it would be details of her life, not mine, and I feel I would be betraying her trust.

But I do appreciate everyone's advice! Thank you